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2021 Farm Log

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Hopalong:
Beside you on the porch, Amber, watching his truck head down the driveway....I can so imagine that sigh.

But medical update sounds hopeful to me. I add my hope-energy to the wave coming your and Buck's way. WHAT a relief it would be to get through the bottleneck together.

I hope upcoming Tgiving brings you joy even if he can't be there this time. Unless I misunderstood and this is a straight there, load his truck, straight back thing.

I heard happiness in that sigh, too. How good to have him to sigh over. I'm so glad.

hugs
Hops

sKePTiKal:
Turnaround depends on the next appt. They will test for infection; then either treat or clear him for surgery - to reinstall pain pump. The surgery means he needs to recover here and get it filled the first time. Get that whole process set up.

Then, he'll be able to do more faster on his end. I have a metal shop to close in - then he can move the big stuff. We need windows and doors. Small tools, work clothes etc stuff already here. It would take a miracle of things coming together just right for the next trip up to be the last -- but sometimes things work that way. It may require my assistance on his end.

We THINK the turnaround time will only be a couple, few weeks this time - but one never knows with healthcare offices these days.

lighter:
It's all coming together, Amber.  How wonderful for you and B.

Lighter

sKePTiKal:
Thanks Lighter!

It's still a tough situation but there is a slow, warm happiness that comes over me when he's been here a couple weeks. And a determination to see this current medical "request" through to a complete conclusion without drama. With patience and dogged stubbornness. To get him as free as possible from all gov't control over his insurance and med choices - those damned pre-approvals.

No giddiness; no serious fantasizing - no wishing it were "different". Just enjoying being with him, the way it is. We laugh a lot. He teases me; I comment on how he needs one place to put all his man "stuff" so he doesn't lose it (which gives me a pretext for redecorating the main living area, don't you know).  :D  He cooks - and enjoys it - and does a good job. Does his own laundry - even tho I've told him, it's OK; I'm doing laundry too - I'll deal with it. The living together is EASY with him. We don't need "summits" to discuss how things are going to "work" - we just deal with one thing at a time together. He is comfortable with the way I drive; I'm trying to be with him - but that's always been an issue for me, I still freak out with Hol driving and she learned it from me.

There aren't any power struggles or ego-driven control spats. We both have our domains; our private time & solitude within being together. And rationally, it all seems too good to be true - but after the years we've been doing this, even at a distance - it's not that difficult. He and Hol are getting along pretty well. They have skills in common and he is always open to teaching a receptive and diligent student. She gravitates to his strong paternal instinct, which has matured and understands she's capable.

I just feel that in a lot of subtle ways - I'm "softening"; finally able to give up juggling all the various active participation in every aspect of everything that needs to be done here. And exploring the things I WANT to do, instead of HAVE to do... and that's a huge gift for me. He's filled my wood racks; fixed inumerable little problems with the various equipment here; connected with Ricky - my backhoe expert & benefactor - on hunting life around here and is fitting in pretty well. Lots of gratitude these days for "what is" and for not being in charge of making it so. Lots of healing going back & forth between him & I too - those old emotional wounds. He's even having a good influence on Hol without being obvious about it.

This separation isn't going to be like the last one; I'm not going to dive into a negative, passive, sad feedback loop about him not being here. It won't be long now, till he is - once and for all - and we're both more confident it will be OK for both of us.

lighter:
I'm so happy to read B and Hold are getting along. 

I know you guys are doing your very best to get medicine ball rolling......I know you're capable and competent.

I believe it's a good thing you're building with B.  Grabbing and enjoying it seems prudent.

::Nodding::.

Lighter

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