Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Captain's Log - 2024
sKePTiKal:
I am having a LOT more questions about the competency of these pain mgmt docs come up.
We waited two months for urology appt on the surgeon's recommendation to eliminate the possibility there was another health issue causing the retention problems that are clearly caused by the stimulator and the leads being where they are. Urology doc was smart, funny & drop-dead tv doc gorgeous... that appt was Thursday last.
Yesterday, back to surgeon, to make a decsion where to go from here with stimulator. After 6 months of having a device that doesn't provide any relief and only makes things worse... he finally admitted that the device tech has tried everything and it's not going to work; they have no records that these things cause these symptoms - even though I FOUND documentation from an Oxford study that it does in fact, occur. So we agreed to another trial of a stimulator at two different spinal locations higher up. That all has to be approved - again - via the federal insurance and includes another psych eval to see if B's parience has completely run out this year and if he's likely to sue the docs or worse. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. OH, and no offer of any Rx to help manage the spasms/pain either. What do they expect a normal person in constant daily pain to react like? Of course B's pissed! And slightly depressed too.
The new trial is to determine if there's enough relief at those spinal locations to warrant attempting to remove/implant a new one. Then the insurance will have to approve the actual surgery. In B's experience, that's taken as long as 6 mos to a year, for approvals. He has a new team; they've appeared to be more competent & responsive. But it still leaves us in limbo about what might happen when. SIGH.
One new wrinkle in S-saga: apparently new girlfriend didn't work out. LOL. Talk about counting your chickens... I have yet to actually talk to Hol this week so I don't have a clue what's going on yet. I don't think she's going to continue the relationship in any form, except friendship, given what she's said previously. Be interesting to see how committed she is to that decision. She's busy this week with contractors and her friends that are helping with greenhouse.
We're busy getting ready to make a quick road trip over the weekend and I am just drained from the last months supporting Hol. Even though I'm driving, it'll help (I know the route well & B gets lost easily). We're going past a few reasonably close woodsy getaway areas we can investigate later. I need more than a few days to take care of my stuff around here and figure out what's going on with my seeds - very bad germination rate this year. I need to plant the baby herbs, too or repot them in my bigger pots. Probably a good idea to do laundry too. LOL.
Twoapenny:
I'm so sorry about B's situation, Skep. It's very easy to see why people end up self medicating with drink or drugs. Intolerable situation to create for a person, and then to act surprised when they become frustrated. Personally i see large scale abuse across public sector institutions that mirrors what many of us have experienced within our own families. Unacceptable.
As for S - I think a nice little spot for him under a patio somewhere would be my inclination :) Lol x
sKePTiKal:
We all are aware enough of our shadows out here, that this solution has been suggested (in mostly jest) more than once Tupp!
But, she's wedded to the idea that he is free to choose as he likes - and only he has to live with the consequences of his choice. She'll get over this and move on. And deal with the feelings in herself that have come up as a result of this situation. So she doesn't repeat her mistakes.
My lips are sealed and I'm minding my own business, unless she says something about herself that is definitely untrue and needs to be corrected. Lordy, does she have some good people as friends helping in that realm too!
lighter:
Part of me is chanting....
"BURN HIS STUFF! BURN HIS STUFF!" But that's just bc I'm well over Hol giving up any more time or space in her life to him and his things.
Or maybe I miss bonfires.
Lighter
Hopalong:
It's a beautiful moment when any woman who's been taken for granted, toyed with, ignored when she expresses her needs, had her dreams dismissed -- has that interior "click" that says, NO.
NO this is not good enough. NO I don't have to settle. NO I'm not happy. NO I deserve love, commitment and partnership.
I'm glad for Hol and for you, because watching her not value herself all this time has been so hard for you.
Here's to Hol, and to her allowing for the possibility of good things happening. Ditto how wonderful her friends must be.
About B, I'm just so sad for him. I have back pain that's a half of a one on his scale of 10, and it undermines my spirit at times. I can't imagine how much fortitude that man has in his soul. (Or how lucky he is to be with you.)
hugs
Hops
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