Author Topic: Anything again  (Read 3907 times)

lighter

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Re: Anything again
« Reply #90 on: April 01, 2026, 08:46:19 AM »
Meh....my two cents.  Good therapy can be different things to different people.

If you make and take that first phone call .... perhaps a second ....you might find a compassionate witness you click with.

Even if they're doing other work, not applicable to you...
connection and "good therapy" might somehow be possible, bc that therapist gets you.

Truth:  There are therapist doing more harm than good out there....in all walks of the field.

Other truth:  There are good therapists, doing good work, in all walks of the field..... social workers, psychologists, clergy....bartenders.  My point is....sometimes, unexpected people help us make connections, for reasons other than the school they attended, or the job they're paid to do.

Finding someone, you click with, is more about alchemy, their experience, interests, toolbox, our willingness to sit in discomfort and talk about discomfort and pain, IME.  I'm a blurted, btw.  I just hit the high spots, unredacted btw, and put a t all on the table.....how the T responds tells me a lot.  I want steady, all business, let's get down to processing trauma and learning how I can do it in my own.....I want zero ego....I want HUGE compassion, even though it makes me cry.  My youngest DD wants to banter ....she wants a sharp wit, and humor mixed into her sessions.....and she wants to be found funny.    Needless to say, my T has concerns about DD's current T, but there it is.

Discerning who's right,wrong, or somewhere in between can be mindfulness practice for you, should you choose to make the call.  You can notice what comes up, how it feels, where you feel it, what changes it, if it changes.....and ask questions you care about.  At least you'd know a bit more about what they u don't want, if it doesn't work out.

Lighter

Meh

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Re: Anything again
« Reply #91 on: April 01, 2026, 06:01:03 PM »

Some of what you posted made me start another little cycle of worrying I might be an N, or N-ish. I think of it as behaviors rather than branding but scary stuff. Mainly around the why-don't-I-do-home-tasks-like-I-should. It really is mainly about my back though. Nothing superior about all that. I'm nibbling at it. TONS of shame attached.


Well If I were labeled as having a personality disorder I think I could accept it if it made sense to me. I think I would rather know.

Hopalong

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Re: Anything again
« Reply #92 on: Today at 11:56:17 AM »
Well, I kept trying to pin the label on myself and several therapists told me to cut it out, I'm NOT a narcissist. I'm lots of other fun things: codependent, highly sensitive, bigly ADHD, and anxious. Also creative, quirky and open. Way healthier now.

(I was just terrified when I learned about what Nism was about 20 years ago -- it's why I came here -- and had all those realizations about my mother and brother, that I was obsessed with the subject for a long time. I saw Ns behind every bush and kept diving into their orbits, like with boyfriend M and perhaps Poet too...and my child). I realized I'd been groomed to feel familiar if not comfortable in that position. Nobody "planned" it for me and I'm not a victim any more. It was just where nature and history put everybody, I guess. But I think I'll always need to be cautious and learn to put trust and vulnerability only in kind hands.

hugs
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."