I NEVER KNEW MY GIRLFRIEND WAS A NARCISSIST

[The Captain]

This is my first time on this site.  I just ended a 16 year relationship with probably the most difficult woman I was ever involved with.  It ended over money, my lending her money and her begrudgingly repaying it.  Not only did she stall on repayment, she cursed me up and down, accusing me of everything from being cheap to cheating on her.  The first 1 1/2 years with her were exciting from sexual and social standpoint.  Then, she withdrew her affection and for the next 14 1/2 years remained the same.  We were more platonic friends than anthing else in spite of my constant marriage proposals.  Several times, when she was angry, she told me that no woman other than her would be interested with me and that I was "loser."  I then made it a point to date other woman to prove to myself that what she said was not true.  At some point she found out that I had been dating, which I did not deny, and she accused me of cheating on her.  How can you cheat on someone that does not want to have a romantic relationship with you and to whom you are not married?  Does my description of her bear the characteristics of a narcissist and has anyone had similar experience?

[Mollie]

I don't know if you're girlfriend's a true narcissist, but she's definately self involved!

I dated a man who IS a narcississt, and we broke up in a painful upheval.
Soon afterward, he told me he didn't want me completely out of his life, that he still wanted to remain friends. This was extremely difficult at first, because our mindsets and what we wanted, were different. Just when I'd gotten somewhat comfortable with the idea, he starts flirting with me, coming on strong. I asked him about it, saying "I thought you didn't want to go out anymore and to just be friends" to which he replied, I do. How nice! He'll use an ex-girlfriend, now "friend" physically, but won't extend the possibility of reconciliation to her. Nope, just get the goods and go!

[dre]

Hi Guys,
My ex sounds similiar. We were always "friends" but had sexual relations. He would sometimes be very cold also and withhold sex, or "punish and reward me" dependant on his mood swings. He would always threaten me with "all these girls who wanted him" and I'm lucky to be with him. If I went on a "date" he would get totally bent out of shape, make rude comments, put them down.

It's like, hey you don't want me as a girlfriend/partner with the committment, yet I should wait around? For what? Same thing Mollie, I would stay away, and we're "friends" then when we'd hang out, he'd be staring at me, touching me, acting stupid like he missed me.

A person can only take so much. I want an adult relationship with kissing, hugging, holding hands, LOVE, and normal sex! I don't even know what I would do if I ever found that again!