Author Topic: N mother question  (Read 2215 times)

mattiedread

  • Guest
N mother question
« on: January 29, 2005, 09:13:16 AM »
I'm very curious as to where my Nmother is getting her supply. She has three children, two of whom are Ns and are equally as devious as she. They feed off of one another, but, their suppliers are all gone. I've had no contact for years, (although I get the Christmas voice mail and the occasional card), my father is dead as is my mother's sister. I was the principle supplier, father secondary and aunt was tertiary. There have been other 'minor' suppliers, but none as significant as me... even my father wasn't a close second.

Anyway, this Christmas' voice mail was interesting/insightful. My brother called (as always, he can do no wrong, if he were to punch me in the face and I was to complain the entire family, father included, would react LOUDLY like this: I actually hit him in the fist with my face and I was an evil person for 'misinterpreting' the event).

The voice mail:
My brother called and for some reason didn't know the answering machine had picked up.(?) He was talking to my sister and brother in law, belittling me, and praising them for attempting to get an Xmas message off to a friend. Although the attempt was unsuccessful, the attempt was all that mattered... they were "good to go... Go party".

I'm really curious as to where they get their supply now. My sister is married, two kids and my brother is recently married, no kids.

bunny

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 713
N mother question
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2005, 02:45:42 PM »
There are plenty of places for them to get their supplies. Narcissists are very resourceful. Be glad you aren't doing that job anymore!  :D

bunny

Samantha!

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 31
N mother question
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2005, 03:55:40 PM »
I agree. Be glad that you are not the supply anymore. It does not matter you is doing the job for them, if at LEAST you are not the one.

Samantha

serena

  • Guest
N mother question
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2005, 07:53:29 PM »
Although N's bask in the glory of 'suppliers', they are also very adept at living alone.

My N mother is 'adored' by her neighbours etc.

Were the truth to be told - they put up with an elderly, infirm woman.

I can also attest that although she is 78, she has NEVER had a meaningful, loving friend in her entire life.  She has loads of acquaintances!!

mattiedread

  • Guest
Hits close to home...
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2005, 07:19:13 AM »
Serena:

My mother is also 78 and I could say the identical things you have said. I'd add, in her mind, her relationships are either extremely meaningful (intellectually on the cutting edge of society) or the person is plebian, inferior.

I guess what I'm truely curious about is N's supply take many forms, from outright abuse to 'behind the back belittling' which seems to bolster their self worth. Can an N replace one with the other? And, if so, does this add to the progression towards delusions?

It appears to me as if Ns I've known and those I read about actually believe their fantasies.

Any insight is appreciated.

Anonymous

  • Guest
Re: Hits close to home...
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2005, 08:42:29 AM »
Quote from: mattiedread
Serena:

My mother is also 78 and I could say the identical things you have said. I'd add, in her mind, her relationships are either extremely meaningful (intellectually on the cutting edge of society) or the person is plebian, inferior.

I guess what I'm truely curious about is N's supply take many forms, from outright abuse to 'behind the back belittling' which seems to bolster their self worth. Can an N replace one with the other? And, if so, does this add to the progression towards delusions?

It appears to me as if Ns I've known and those I read about actually believe their fantasies.

As we 'speak', my N mother is not talking to me!!!!  This has been ongoing since Christmas and I am so unworried about the situation.  The perceived 'slight' would be trivial to any decent human being, but she is acting as though I had mortally wounded her.

Frankly, all I can do is laugh at her behaviour and bearing in mind that I live in a different country to her, I couldn't care less.

I am more than aware, though, that my sister who lives NEXT DOOR to her will be bored to tears on a daily basis regarding my

Any insight is appreciated.
transgression.  

Thankfully all her children realise what an unmitigated pain in the behind she is and are thankful to be adults and away from her toxicity.

So, even in my absence, she is 'feeding' off me but guess what, I no longer worry about her even for a nanosecond.....

serena

  • Guest
N mother question
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2005, 08:43:46 AM »
God, I messed up that last post spectacularly!!!  Hope you got my drift.

catlover

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 64
N mother question
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2005, 09:59:30 PM »
I can attest to the fact that Ns are very resourceful in getting their N supply.  My mother uses my much younger brothers, but since one of them went off to college she has started taking in "runaways" that my brothers meet. She always lets tons of teenagers hang out at her house - she loves to hold court with them, especially after smoking pot (with them).   :roll: I suspect that after the youngest brother leaves she will still take in runaways if she can find them.  Not only do they give her supply, they also allow her to continue feeling that she is a wonderful, nurturing person, because look how nice she is to let them live with her.  Usually these kids have very abusive parents so she can also compare herself favorably with their parents, i.e., "Look what a great mother I've been - I can't understand why my daughter complains, she is so lucky to have had me - look at the parents these kids have."   :!:  :!:
Gwyn