Anything

[sKePTiKal]

and why not?

It's got all the elements of strengthening cognitive connections... and mind-body connections... which have a positive impact on physical and emotional well-being!

Sounds like FUN, in other words!

[teartracks]

and why not?

It's got all the elements of strengthening cognitive connections... and mind-body connections... which have a positive impact on physical and emotional well-being!

Sounds like FUN, in other words!

It was a very uplifting vignette.  I think she was on break from her work (most of the medical buildings of our town are in the area where we were).  She twirled the baton every which way.  She was blooming where she was planted.  Loved it!


Guest - I was sick last year.  I  needed to ride the trolley.  Not all that good a driver, but no one got hurt!

tt








 

[sKePTiKal]

tt - thank you for those personal definitions, along with the fine shadings of difference between the two. I've mixed them up, the same way you have, in the past. And I've also begun to experience what a huge difference there is in perception of how things look, what is possible going forward, and how much more stable and giving the experience of empathy instead of sympathy is.

This is one mix-up, I have a clear memory of having come from my mother. I remember being literally told that empathy was how you described sympathy... that this is what it "should" be. The first time this started to get straightened out for me, was in T. Not sure how/why my mom didn't understand... but it has something to do with her PD; there was literally no evil intent behind it... perhaps only an unconscious "need" she was trying to satisfy any way she could, without regard to how it affected others.

I have a lot of "mix-ups" like this that became solidified in my neural nets... as "me". I'm really tempted to simply "shake things up" like dice in a cup and roll... and see what comes out next time. I won't though; not this time. This time, I'm taking those mix-ups apart one at a time... and making an intentional, conscious choice instead. To my surprise, that's dredging up all kinds of old yuck that I thought I was done with... and it's having a physical impact on my body again. Sure, it's a chance to study & observe & decode and reprogram... but damn it, pain is still pain and it HURTS.

Case in point - serious "war" going on with mom & SIL over remodeling plans at their place. Mom has been trying to drag me into it and I've tried redirecting her, getting her to understand some of the logic of the decisions being and the insanity of some of mom's plans & wants, and basically just letting her vent... until I really didn't want to hear the same old, same old anymore. So I started screening her calls again. Not answering. Did talk to SIL - and attempted to talk to bro - about mom's latest escape plan... but bro won't talk to me. SIL, I was able to support without getting "involved" in decisions... made her laugh a couple times and lowered her frustration/anger level... but then I realized I was back in "peacemaker" mode again.

The minute I "compromise" my boundaries, because I think I can help - or want to - don't you know, my shoulder and arm have started to hurt like the dickens again? And absolutely nothing relieves it... except shifting my focus of attention away from that drama to almost anything else. I'd really like to sort out and correct this kind of mixup - the one that has a physical result! I guess I should be glad, that I have such an unavoidable "alarm" system like this... grateful, you know? Sort of like those new cars that detect a stopped vehicle ahead... and automatically put on the brakes without conscious effort of the driver.

[sKePTiKal]

The main difference for me, was learning that there is a boundary in empathy... where I had none in sympathy... feeling another's feelings, too. Reliving what I knew of those feelings.

The boundary in empathy, means that I feel FOR the person in question... I feel concern for, a wish to help, commisseration, etc... without feeling those feelings myself, what the other person is feeling. Not feeling the feeling itself... but with a knowledge of, acknowledgement of, understanding of... that feeling does allow one a wider perspective, perhaps? perhaps more objective? less reaction-based?

Maybe. When one is awash in a sea of feelings and in danger of drowning... my experience has been there's not a lot of objectivity or dispassionate, rational thought going on in me. This feels like something I intuit... and can't spit out in words yet, tt.

Edit in: hey... I just remembered... maybe by "not feeling the same feeling" - but being motivated with concern... the empathetic person can connect to the feeling person who is temporarily overwhelmed with emotion and able to think well yet... and the empathetic person can temporarily be the "thinking" part of the connection? But, if one feels sympathy - the same feelings - one's just as incapacitated by emotion?

Good questions, tt.

[Hopalong]

I find that tuning into compassion, usually when being kind of meditative, or sitting in church...

actually strengthens my self, even my sense of boundaries.

When I tap into compassion, even for an eNemy, I feel rather than weaker, stronger.

Just...calmer. Less afraid of outcomes because I feel grounded.

I think it's because compassion is a "spiritually mature" feeling (not boasting any maturity, btw) ... and empathy is next-level-down.

Like...compassion is True North. Empathy is a navigation tool.

??
Hops

[debkor]

A month ago I stepped on a rake (you use for stones).  It went through my foot, hit the bone, and stopped before it came out in between (my third toe).   I went to ER, cleaned, xrays, shot, antibiotics (a high risk injury).  Swelling went down, I could walk on my foot again but in between my 2nd and third toe (pain if pressed).  Finished the antibiotic's and all was looking good (accept for the sore spot) ah! takes time to heal.


The bottom of my toe looked red.  The bottom of my toe looked shiny red.  The bottom of my toe was ITCHY!!  Healing?  The red, itchy, skin turned into a boil.
Didn't hurt to touch, wasn't warm, looked like a cyst. 

And I'm off again to the Dr. 

They give me More antibiotics (although they didn't think it was infection) but wanted to be safe and tell me I must have contacted something in my garden, poison ivy or something.....Meanwhile, I'm doing the RAKE THROUGH FOOT, can ANYONE hear me!!! It hurts here!!!  Oh btw the toe at bottom was purple now. Put cortizone on it.

Taking the new meds and no change....

I can't take it and soak my foot in Sea Salt.  I'm looking up everything I can on the internet (sea salt) was one of them.  I would have did a Mexican Hat dance if that worked.
The sea salt soaking (showed infection).

Back to the ER....it was this Sun.

The Dr comes in and she listens to me say (BETWEEN MY TOES)...

Your going for x-rays again.  We are taping your other toes off  (so they could get to see in between)
She wanted to make sure I didn't have bone infection.
All looked good (no bone) but infection....soft tissue. 
She cut, cleaned and told me::::: You have Staph.
Do the soaks...put me on bactrim DS and to continue the keflex with it.

And the infection is GONE!! 
I HOPE for GOOD!!

All these antibiotics have done a number on me (stomach) and the bactrim I have loss of appetite.  I eat but small amount. 

I'll be finished on Sunday with Meds....HORRAY!!!

finally someone HEARD ME!!!

A very happy Deb!!

[Hopalong]

Oh yikes, Deb...so sorry you've had such an ordeal.
You are very brave.

ow ow ow

SO SO glad too it's better now!

xxoo
Hops

[teartracks]

Guest- dang, I can't get anything right!

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi everybody,

I created a new topic entitled "The social network phenomenon" starting with PhoenixRising's post on the "Anything" thread because I thought it deserved a thread of its own...

Richard

[teartracks]

I learned a new word!  I'm almost as thrilled as if I were learning to read again. 

con·cat·e·nate  (kn-ktn-t, kn-)


tr.v. con·cat·e·nat·ed, con·cat·e·nat·ing, con·cat·e·nates

1. To connect or link in a series or chain.
2. Computer Science To arrange (strings of characters) into a chained list.
adj. (-nt, -nt)
Connected or linked in a series.

[Guest]

Theoretically, how could you design an up-to-date Milgram experiment using the virtual environment; and, do you think it might work; and if so, could the results be valid (taken seriously)?

[Guest]

Is there something similar to 'Parkinson's Law' - Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion - which says that: once you have a bigger, more anxiety-producing problem to deal with, then any subsequent smaller, slightly less anxiety-producing problems, will seem much more insignificant (than they would have seemed otherwise)?

In other words, is there is a finite space available in the brain (body) for anxiety/fear/focus/amygdalian products? And once this space is occupied, any further stimulants are prioritised to fill the space (kicking out less important ones) or simply not prioritised but 'shelved' for attention at some future point when the current priority has passed?

Probably called the Prioritisation of Threat or similar.
 

[sKePTiKal]

Interesting question, Freshwater...

Yes, I suppose that some brains are built this way (or act this way sometimes) - to address the "big" threat and minimize the thought, feelings and actions on anything else until the top threat is neutalized or resolved or accepted, in some way. I'm much more familiar with the opposite situation, where everything is perceived to have equal importance or threat, so that instead of some things being shelved to be addressed later... one experiences a "piling on" effect. The problems needing solved or action taken crowd in and edge ever closer...

the difference being that word perception.

The other part of your question - whether the brain can only hold so much - reminds me of what happens with (my experience of) dissociation. Since you specified the fear response in your example, I'll say that the fear thermometer can get so high that it eventually triggers a "system crash" of the brain which shuts down all sensory input from the body, environment, etc and the conscious awareness of the "person" then moves to another place - whether that place is fantasy or reality I can't say for sure. I have been told (and it makes a ton of emotional "sense" to me) that this is actually a protective fail-safe response of the brain and isn't abnormal under life-threatening circumstances.

Any of this connect or help with what sparked the question?

[Guest]

Teartracks, not sure about the apartment, that sounds too much like the 'law' of attraction! I'm sure that's correct about obsessing: I don't know if obsessing for a certain period actually helps - it seems to (obsess for long enough and it will finally recede, or you will come up with a solution to what you see as a problem and then you can decide if the solution is sane or nuts - checking). Perhaps it could be a type of meditation, if it is done with awareness? That seems very counter-intuitive. Who knows. Being very focused is what happens, problem solving I think (then stepping back to re-assess the 'problem' and 'solutions').

PR I can understand the "piling on" effect, I feel as though I look at what's at the top of the pile and easily prioritise the rest - unless it's something to cause dissociation, a system crash, as you say. Perhaps it wasn't so much of a question as an attempt at an explanation for myself. Having said that today the 'threats' don't look like threats at all. Just ordinary people pissing me off, as they do.

[Guest]

Sounds like an interesting and relevant book......but....Amazon UK don't have the correct title and that makes it a little confusing:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Redirect-Surprising-Science-Psychological-Change/dp/product-description/1846142296/ref=dp_proddesc_0?ie=UTF8&n=266239&s=books