Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
acapella and the other n-partners
bunny:
Hello, I was hermione on n-partners. I am sorry that this terrible thing occurred. What a betrayal by Sandahl. Hope contacted me and told me about this board and what occurred on N-partners. I hadn't read N-partners after I decided to leave. I had no private conversations with Sandahl at all. I just felt that she was becoming hostile. Basically I thought she would kick me off, so I left first. Then this stuff happened afterward where she became very punitive and horrible to you guys. I wanted to say it is awful what she did, and thank goodness this forum was here. Thanks echo for telling people about this forum.
hope2003:
Welcome bunny/hermione: I wish you could have been on the board to see the support that came pouring out for you. Your advice has always been welcome, as have your lively discussions.
Hopefully, we can come together here, in a safe place.
Echo, it seems that you experienced the biggest slight of all of us. you didn't even have a private tiff with Sand. The good news is that I think that we have separated to a group that can support each other and we can get back to healing.
Jaded911:
Bunny/Herm,
It is good to see you here. You do not owe anyone an apology for what occurred. You did nothing wrong. Part of the healing process is knowing when you were in the wrong and when you need to offer an apology. If I felt you were in the wrong, I would not have posted. I observed Sands hostile responses to you. IMHO she directed several comments to you in a demeaning manner, she presented her opinions as the final word on certain subjects. She would ask for clarity about something, when you replied, she abruptly shot down your comments. You just do not ask someone to clarify, then immediately hush them up because they are stating what you dont want to hear. If a person can not listen to a response, why would they ask for clarity.
We had to apologize to many times for things that we did not do or say. It was the only way to keep the peace with our N. Well, you did not do anything wrong, so I refuse to believe that an apology is necessary from you.
I do not know you nor do I know Sand. What I do know is that right is right and wrong is wrong. I chose to speak out. I have no regrets about what I said, I will not agree to accept this type of behavior from anyone. I felt so helpless not being able to speak out with my xN. I refuse to regress back to that. Sand has her right to voice her opinion, but dang, we also have that right as well.
I spoke out because it appeared to me you had to justify every word you said in order to explain something she perceived in the wrong manner. Every post of yours was a result of something she had twisted from a prior post.
I am glad that you are at the point in your recovery process that you did not allow this incident to make you feel you were responsible for all of this happening. Being a mature adult means that you have to learn to take responsibility for your own actions, not everyone elses just to keep the peace. Sand acted in a very immature manner. I have had enough of people trying to make others responsible for everything. I am on to more peaceful days in my life. Speaking my opinion once again proves to me that I feel worthy enough to do so. I feel I deserve to speak my mind, just as you, hope, and Sand all do. But ya have to be willing to also listen to others, she just didnt feel we were saying the right things. She was wrong. But I wont sit around and wait for an apology. Been there done that, it didnt happen.
Mindy
I_am_mine:
--- Quote from: hope2003 ---I know that some of you N partners are reading this, and nobody is going to bat for us.
--- End quote ---
I'm at a bit of a disadvantage because I missed the whole beginning of this, but I've already made a second post and sent a second email to Sandahl.
Please don't misunderstand me, I really don't know any of you personally, so it's hard for me to go to bat for specific people, plus the fact that I'm so new on that board, I really haven't even gotten the atmosphere yet.
I did, however post the mission statement, and in her reply, she twisted the words to mean something else entirely. That was one of the things I brought up in my second post. Also, the mission statement page has been changed, and specifically mentions "managers" not being subject to attack (also all the regular members).
There were a couple of questions I asked that I'm interested in seeing if she answers. One big issue I have is, I don't know how that board was before, but since I'm so new, it just doesn't seem like a safe, secure, tolerant, comfortable place to talk about the things we need to talk about. I'd feel very uncomfortable posting anything more personal than I have already, which wasn't much.
Sorry I couldn't go to bat for each of you individually. From what I understand, I can see your point, and considering what I posted there, I cannot see hers.
Best of luck to you all, hope I'll get to know you better over here, I haven't done much posting here, either, but I really love this board!
bobbie
hope2003:
Thank you for your support. I think that you made our point. If the information would have been out there for all to assess, Sandahl would have been found to be in the wrong. There are some real power issues here.
My bet is that she erases your thread. It seems to be her pattern. :shock:
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