Oh my gosh, I'm thrilled with all this good feedback! And just at the right time as well. I'm not sure where to begin.
To everyone who gave me feedback about volunteering, you all gave some really good advice. I was thinking volunteer work could make me feel useful because right now I'm thinking, what's the point? I do have a program I'm very interested in (had plans to sign up before the divorce) but have been having some anxiety that I would not be able to put into the program what I need to put in right now, and I absolutely could not let anyone down. Perhaps it would be best to wait awhile longer.
D's Mom, I didn't mean to make you feel the way you did. I have always, always compared my situation to what others are going through as a coping mechanism. I really frustrated the therapist by comparing everything I've gone through to the holocaust. I always figured if other people were suffering worse, I could get through what was happening with me. That's probably something I still need to work on.

Actually, it makes me laugh a little because everytime she tried to point something out, I'd say "but it's not like the holocaust" and I could just see and hear the frustration. Intellectually I guess I know better but I can't seem to kick the programming. I tend to isolate as well. I know I could end up a hermit and I will have to force myself out.
BJ, writing does help but you've helped me to realize, it seems to be more constructive when I do it here. I have pages and pages I've written when I'm feeling bad but it's mostly #@*@&# blankety blankety so n so N Ex husband! I have to be more coherent for this site and that led me into some good realizations. Now, how do I do this without boring people on numerous web sites? Perhaps pretend I'm writing to you all in my journal.
Bunny, I like the list idea. I will try it. Maybe the original me will come out from under.
Brigid and Nightsong, you are right. Getting healthy and taking care of myself is the first place to start. I need to regain energy before I can even put any plans into action. Vitamins do help and I need to make sure I take them every day--I've been a slacker. Sunshine and exercise help as well.
Thank you all for your feedback. I've certainly got much more help here than from family and friends but then you all know how it is.
(And Stormchild, eating is the best news of all! Even if she's still under the bed.)