Hey, Portia. This IS interesting, isn't it?
I took your advice and read your words four times.
I can't see your body language, or get inside your head, nor can you see me. Good point.
I do disagree with you, for after reading that thread (five times) I sensed sarcasm in that thread, which has it's root in defensiveness, which comes from someone protecting something perhaps fragile inside.
Last week, I reacted emotionally and not very carefully to something, and in my experience (and my opinion based on that), defensive reactions escalate conflict, regardless of where the feelings originate. It was resolved, and I am the wiser for it, so no, I don't think anything is ever wasted.
However, I see on this board, that people try to help each other out through sharing experiences. That was my motivation. I do "hate" misunderstandings between people, that can lead to
more pain where healing could be instead. I do wish for peace always. I have no problem with that as a lifelong goal.
I will not knowingly seek to escalate conflict (which I am not always aware of, being human and all), for to do so is to add pain to this already painful planet.
Assuming we all (on this board at least) wish to resolve conflict, (and hey, I may be WAY off here) I have found it best to wait to react, so that I can do so with some wisdom and perspective. I was sharing that I had just re-learned this again last week.
As far as "real life" goes.....you are right on target with that. The "real world" does not operate like my vision. Clearly. And "real life" has lots of suffering and pestilence that comes from just such attachments to perspectives. I am attempting to learn how NOT to add more of that to the world.
Perhaps because I work in education, if I were asked how I handle conflict in your job interview scenario: I would not say I would avoid it. I would say that on my best days I would handle it personally, without judgement and defensiveness and try to understand what it is I was attached to that caused the problem for me, that I would listen with good intention to what the other person is saying and do my best to resolve it with everyone's dignity intact.
I don't know what other jobs are like, but if I handled conflict intentionally
through hammer over the head methodology, I would be out of a job, or not in that "business" in the first place.
The other thing I would make clear is that conflicts are best handled through the parties involved. I was suggesting they use kindness, that's all. If either one of the people who I considered to be reacting with hurt were to post me saying everything was fine and I misunderstood.....then I was mistaken and I needed not be concerned for them.
If you are suggesting that posting here at all, is fruitless, because of all the differing ideologies, and that because of those, we should just watch it all happen, without opinion or loving advice, now that would be an interesting thing to hear. I have actually thought of that frequently (and your post has me wondering, so thanks for the intriquing thought inspiration).
