Protecting our kids from their Nparent

[October]

semantics.... did not suffice for me to understand why "C NEEDS him to be" there
 so why does he NEED  to be there...
i was kind of thinkin ifn he be an ex that he might not need to be there...
unless in the eyes of the church he is not an ex....

He is her dad, so she needs him to be at her confirmation.  I don't question this need; it belongs to her.

I have told her that the confirmation is like the Jewish Bar Mitsvah, and marks the transition from child to young adult for her.  At her confirmation she confirms the promises made on her behalf by her parents and godparents, and promises to follow them for herself.  So for that reason, we invite the godparents to be present, and myself, her mother, and her dad.  That is why.

In the eyes of the church he is indeed an ex.  The marriage is dissolved legally, and the church recognises that.  However, neither he nor I have remarried, so there is no conflict with any religious belief whatever.

[gnositic]

semantics.... did not suffice for me to understand why "C NEEDS him to be" there
 so why does he NEED  to be there...
i was kind of thinkin ifn he be an ex that he might not need to be there...
unless in the eyes of the church he is not an ex....

He is her dad, so she needs him to be at her confirmation.  I don't question this need; it belongs to her.



I have told her that the confirmation is like the Jewish Bar Mitsvah, and marks the transition from child to young adult for her.  At her confirmation she confirms the promises made on her behalf by her parents and godparents, and promises to follow them for herself.  So for that reason, we invite the godparents to be present, and myself, her mother, and her dad.  That is why.

In the eyes of the church he is indeed an ex.  The marriage is dissolved legally, and the church recognises that.  However, neither he nor I have remarried, so there is no conflict with any religious belief whatever.

in terms of the bible i wonder if the spouse to be dead and to remarry
ifn the spouse is spiritually dead ...
meaning so set against life's success
for a real opportunity of the marrage..
then one might remarry...

[October]

in terms of the bible i wonder if the spouse to be dead and to remarry
ifn the spouse is spiritually dead ...
meaning so set against life's success
for a real opportunity of the marrage..
then one might remarry...

I am not sure what your purpose is in discussing my marriage in relation to the Bible.     My ex is not spiritually dead, and I am sure that God will welcome him into heaven.  Ex is a very damaged person, who in his turn has damaged others, and (almost) killed himself.  I see no reason for that to deny him eternity.

The reason I do not remarry is that I am very wary of forming relationships with men, after the disaster of this marriage, and the depth of pain it caused to everyone concerned.  I am not about to make the same mistake again, and will wait until I am sure that I can make a better choice, with more regard for my own nurturing and happiness.

I do not see any objection to my remarriage in my faith, or in the Bible.  My God is not interested in legalism; he is interested in compassion and mercy.  For both David and myself.

My role now is to show my daughter that death is an integral part of life, and not something to be ashamed of, or to hide from.  In the process, anything I can do for David that does not suck us both into the drama that is his life, I will do.

If your question is, can people married to spiritually dead people justify divorce and remarriage when they have a God who thinks that divorce is a sin, then I suppose the answer would be no.  Such a malevolent God would hardly make humanitarian concessions.  Fortunately, that is not the God I know and love.