Boundary setting vs attempts to change the N

[catlover]

Hi Jaded,
I am missing so much work reading and writing this stuff - but nothing truly important like wrapping presents!  I'd help ya if I could

It sounds like you had a little bit of what I have:  getting stepped on because you don't want to be like your mom.

You are so right when you talk about how they like to ruin things for you.  I live in California - my mom and stepdad moved here from Buffalo, NY when I was 15, and my mom was miserable here (of course she was ALWAYS miserable wherever) so when he got a job in Chicago, they moved there when I was 20.  I knew enough not to go with them.  Now one of my mom's favorite things to do is go on and on about how difficult it is to live in California - everything's so expensive, the affordable parts are too hot and dry, the people are hard to talk to, and on and on and on.  She doesn't seem to care that I love the mountains and the ocean etc etc.  Yes, I agree, it's very expensive, but that's a choice I'm making, and I certainly wouldn't be happy in Chicago.  I think that may be one of the first things I'm going to set boundaries on:  the next time she starts trashing where I live I'm going to tell her to please stop, it's where I live and it doesn't help for her to rag on it.

Thanks a bunch and wrap away

[Jaded]

CC,

You worded that perfectly.  If you think about it, speaking up for yourself does not have the same definition as being obnoxious.  You are so right my dear, speak your mind but don't shove your ideas down everyone's throat.  

Nobody can speak for you better than you can yourself.  You think the thoughts and feelings, heck you should voice them.

Cc, I have to tell ya, you word things wonderful.  Isn't it funny how you lose that ability the minute you are around your N?  I have to applaud you for your communication skills.

Jaded

[CC]

Thanks, Jaded, for the compliment.  You're right, funny how we seem to be at a loss for words when under the spell of the N.