Thanks for your help, everyone, as always. No Hopalong, your thoughts were useful. But you may have missed the point that when promised 2 days I waited 10 before becoming distressed.
In the past I have had letters of referral go missing completely. I don't know what happens elsewhere, but here in the third world UK when a doctor makes a referral there is no follow up whatever to that letter. If it goes astray for whatever reason, then there is no protection for the patient. I have suffered from this more than once, and so have to take responsibility on myself to ensure that communication happens in the way it should.
I once checked the waiting list time for a particular referral and was told it would take two to three months. So I waited three months, and then rang the hospital concerned to find the letter of referral had never arrived. I then had to ring my GP and request a fax copy of the referral be sent. I was then sent an appointment for three months later. I complained, via my MP, and the appointment was brought forward one month. So I ended up waiting five months for a 2 - 3 month appointment.
The Buddhist approach of non violence and non intervention might work in some cases, but when dealing with the NHS I have learned that I have to follow through on everything. I have to ask when I will expect to hear from people. If they promise to phone, I have to ask how long it is likely to be before they do. If anyone makes a commitment to me, I warn them that I prefer not to have the commitment if they are not sure of keeping it, because in the end I am the one who pays the price for this level of administrative complacency and - well, what else could you call it but incompetence.
A simple admin system of reply card or phone call for each referral would prevent this from happening. But there is no such safety net in place. It is the most vulnerable who suffer, time and again.
I had a phone call today from the Complaints Manager. She wanted to know specifically what I am complaining about in the letter from Dr I. I told her several things that are wrong with it, and then said, in summary I think I would like to say that his letter is intemperate and immoderate, and that in response I want to use a moderate and temperate word to describe it. I would like to say that it is unkind.
But then later I remembered that four years ago I had a difficult conversation with another doctor - a GP. So I am wondering if he is right, and I am an abusive person, after all. And then the ground shifts from under me, and I lose myself again.
Thanks for saying I deserve better, Sela. I will try to believe that. ((((((hugs)))))))
