Are We Okay?

[Hopalong]

Err...the recent flurry of posts about awkward feelings has got my head stuck so far into my navel I can see thru my vertebrae.

And because one of the Nspots can be, well, isn't everything about meeeeeeee? It's embarrassing, but here's what I was just thinking:

What with a little bragging about my writing here and there (posted a poem way back, and recently a Salon letter) and my ... often-hearty appetite for posting... and my having a vigorous opinion on Just About Everything ...

Are my Nspots bigger than I think? Am I demonstrating internatlized Nishness so I've hurt anyone?

I hope not but if I have, I'm sorry.

I'd rather think I can just keep hopping along, but if I'm overlooking a chance for a reality check or a little lesson in how I might be coming across, I would not mind hearing it.

(Ain't eager to have my feelings hurt, of course. But I have a lot of respect for folks here, and I know I would learn.) So if anyone does have a thought or guidance, it'd be welcome.

Thanks all,
Hopalong

[write]

H- you're ok, I'm ok (((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))) 

I'm sorry if I've pinged everyone, it's an INFJ trait, its like esp sometimes... 

Maybe this is part of a natural stage in any therapeutic relationship too.

I have been around for ages now, probably 2+ years, though for ages I wouldn't even register, didn't even give myself a name at first!

And now we are talking about each other's traits, there is lots of shared humour, we pm each other...we are losing the anonimity, even with anonimity!

My friend just arrived, gotta go: more later

[Hopalong]

Thanks Write.

Maybe it had nothing to do with me and I had my nose somewhere other than my navel...

 

Hops

[movinon]

Hops - Thanks for mentioning your feelings here.  Funny I had the same thing going on yesterday when I made a recommendation and didn't get "validated" for my "infinate" wisdom - N moment

Bravo for you.  You seem to get lots of growth opportunities from this board!

We're cool!

Movinon

[Hopalong]

Thanks guys, I needed that

Sweet dreams....

HOPALONG

[mum]

Geez...I'm thinking, should I be glad I have no clue ( I got lost on a few of the posts) what's going on...and WHEW, it's not me this time!! I've had my share (still do) of misunderstandings and disagreements. It's part and parcel of the brave attempt at connecting. Sort of the cost of doing business.
"No one would talk much in society if they knew how often they misunderstood others". (Goethe)
I think that's true. But as messy as it is, trying again and again to connect is what keeps us compassionate toward ourselves and others. It's the crazy/beautiful thing called being human.

[Hopalong]

Mum,
You just sung a lullaby...a lovely one.

thanks for the grace...
love,
Hops

[Hopalong]

Thanks, Bean. 

Hops

[Healing&Hopeful]

Hoppy hon

I hope we're ok.... I don't see any reason for us not to be ok....

I feel that we all have N spots, there is a difference between healthy narcissism (which we all should have) and full blown NPD.  I never get the impression that you are trying to over inflate yourself, that you don't emphasize (sp) etc etc... we all have things going on in our lives where we feel that it is important to share, and we'll all have times where we don't always agree.  In my book, it's what makes us individual.

Take care

H&H xx 

[Portia]

Okay I don’t do this very often but I feel like it

((((((Hopalong, Write, Movinon, Jacmac, Mum, Bean, H&H))))))

Ohhhh a group hug…. my intimacy-phobia stuff is all wriggly inside me! Good job it’s a message board and not 3D!!!! I’d be over that fence and doing 20 miles an hour away.

Haha. *thinks* maybe it’s a bit N to give a group hug? Like who wants me to join in?

Hopalong, truly – many of us do it, all the time! Your courage is growing daily I think. It’s wonderful. When maybe you don’t feel so strong in 3D life, imagine we’re there with you supporting you. I’m repeating an old idea there but I think it’s okay to repeat good stuff. It doesn’t go out of fashion.

[Hopalong]

thanks, P. Pile it on! I'm there. You can't "do" a group hug anyway, you can only ask for one.
You know, I think part of my little detour into insecurity was that I sensed people were unhappy and/or pulling away.

Therefore, my brain went right straight into: AAACCCKKKK! I have to fix this, right?
Either that or it must be my fault! (Probably fear of abandonment or something.)

Hmmm. Good lord that stuff's hardwired, sometimes.
(I lied, too. I wasn't actually making cookies.)

Meanwhile I have been (close your eyes, ear reader, if you don't like gross medical stuff) prepping for a screening colonoscopy for the last day and I'm dehydrated hungry and weak and ... drumroll...
POOPED OUT.

 
Hopalong

[Hopalong]

And thanks H & H...I really appreciated those words.

Hops

[Portia]

Oh Hop. Take care and I hope everything is okay. Is it imminent? Lots of good wishes winging across to you. ((((((Hopalong))))))

[Hopalong]

I'm fine, really. Just milking it for all it's worth.
It's just a routine screening you're supposed to have when you turn 50 and I avoided it because it's gross. But I figure I'd better get it done now while my job will cover it...

It's really not so bad. (They dope you up so much everybody says it's painless. The yucky part's bhind me already.) The procedure's this afternoon and then I get to eat like a pig.

 
Hops

[Brigid]

 

Is it imminent?

Gosh, I sure hope so!   Not the kind of procedure one wants to drag on for days.

Good for you to be doing this Hoppy.   Very necessary at our age.  I had it done last year and thought it would be a walk in the park having watched other friends have it done.  Unfortunately, I reacted badly to the anesthesia and was throwing up the night after the procedure, when I was really hoping to have a steak dinner.  Oh well, nothing serious found and that's the main thing.

I am sending good wishes for a clear screening and for you to be enjoying a wonderful meal tonight.

Brigid