need motivation other than fear

[Hopalong]

Hi all,
I'm having a hard time motivating myself to be organized, effective and focused on my job search.
The existing job is very intense and draining right now...and all I want to do on my time
off is collapse.

But that's not going to get me where I need to go. I have to find something before June 30.

Procrastination has gotten me into very deep trouble before and I'd like to break that pattern.
It feels like a close cousin to depression.

I let little things pile up to enormous intimidating piles of paperwork. More happens, the more I hide. Slipping into some sort of depression and I want to fight it off.

Just writing that down helps some.

Thanks for listening,

Hopalong

[Cadbury]

Hopalong,

I am the world's best procrasintor ... I have learnt some good tips to help.

First of all (thanks to www.Flylady.net) start to believe in the power of 15 minutes. Really, you can do anything for 15 minutes. Get a timer. Pick up a pile of papers and tell yourself you are going to sort through them for 15 minutes. Then you will __________ <-insert treat there!. You will be amazed how much you can get done in 15 minutes. Do this at least once a day, every day and those intimidating piles of paper will become less so.

Secondly, use positive thought to help. Get a pen and paper and write down what will happen if you get everything done by 30th June. How good you will feel, how your life will be. Really imagine as hard as you can so you have a vivid picture in your head. Stick the list somewhere you can read it every day. This will help you to stay focused on the task at hand. You could also write a list of what will happen if you don't get it all done. How you will feel etc.


I hope those tips help, they have helped me. I just say to myself "I can do anything for 15 minutes" and set the timer and go.... baby steps!!!

Good luck (((((hopalong)))))

[mum]

Wow, thanks, Cadbury. Those tips are VERY helpful to me, too!! You were responding to Hoppy (I can relate, kiddo!) but it's always so interesting how I am thinking something (ok, dreading it...all I have to do) and the universe steps in and gives me a boost!
So cool.
I agree completely with what you are saying. If you focus on the negative "oh, this is overwhelming...what if (insert bad outcome here)" then it is almost impossible to create what you want (you are focusing on what you DON'T want). But if you focus on a positive outcome....keep that foremost in your mind....then every little step you take keeps you moving in a positive direction!

It's like when my kids have a mountain of homework...I tell them, just take ONE thing, focus on it, and do it. Don't focus on the mountain, it will stop you in your tracks. (certainly helps me when hiking uphill, too!).
Thanks for the reminders!!!!

Hoppy, I will send you lots of forward moving energy....it will help me as it's exactly what I need too!! Thoughts become things....we will get there!!!!

[spyralle]

How weird.....  me too Mum....  there I was sitting on my sofa trying to get up the enthusiasm to do everything I have got to do.  I thought I'd just check this place out first and there is somebody to help...  I'm going to try this fifteen minutes thing too... 

Focusing is definately what it's all about though...  i go into extreme anxiety about the mountain of things to do,. both here and at work and end up just sitting on top of a mountain of projects with little bits of all of them done here and there...  I think when we stay in chaos like that,. it is absolutely exhausting,.  The week before last i made a vow that I was going to clear out my loft...  I did.... I went backwards and forwards to the tip throwing everything away until I had a cler space.  I felt invigorated when I had finished.  I had stuck to one task and felt like I had really achieved something.. My best friend lives in a house that is full of clutter....  Bags of stuff everywhere that she hasn't looked in for years, but just can't throw away.  She has so many illnesses...  M.E. Depression,. backache etc etc...  i think sometimes that we keep ouselves trapped because it is safer in our stuck space,. nomatter how chaotic and horrid it is...

Maybe if we clear the physical space and make small achievements,. we clear the psychological space.

i teach my clients about baby steps...  They are drug and alcohol users.  They see everything as massive and are very reluctant to make changes,. because the changes they want to make are so massive.  If they plan tiny changes instead they begin to realise that they can make differences and that every difference counts nomatter how small...  I must try the 15 minute thing with them..

Spyralle x x

[darky]

hi there, i am a chronic procrastinator its awful. but i was watching a program the other day about weight loss. the person who heads up this program is hypnotist paul mackena (spelling?) he talked about motivation and he said everyone can motivate themselves we all have it in us. he gave an example, he said if you won the lottery would you sit there saying, oh well i won the lottery i must get round to ringing the organisors to put that claim in but i cant be botherd. or if you had booked a holiday you wouldnt put off getting to the airport because you couldnt be bothered.
he gave some tips for doing things you dont want to do. he says picture a time you were really motivated to do something. sit with eyes closed and concentrate on how that made you feel. concentrate on how motivated you were.
he reckons that really helps.
i have not tried this theory because guess what?? i cant be bothered lol.

[Hopalong]

This chorus really helped!
Cadbury, thanks for that. Surely I can spend at least 15 minutes clearing space, which ...as you say, Spy, will create space to think clearly (instead of focusing on my depression and backache--!!--)which will...as you say, Mum, help me focus on what I do want to manifest. And thank heaven for TurboTax, one of those software thingies, Jac, it's worked really easily for me so far...good reminder about the penalties since some realism about consequences has to go in the pot too...

And funnily enough Darky, the thing you mentioned you haven't tried yet really rang a bell...I suppose it's the fantasizing...but I really like the idea of concentrating hard on how I have felt inn the past when I was very motivated.

Thanks, all! After my run to the grocery store (it's pouring snow, we're out of milk) I will look at this pile with a fresh perspective.

Thanks,
Hops

[Healing&Hopeful]

Hiya all

Wow, these postings are motivation in themselves! 

I wish I'd read them earlier... maybe I'd have cleaned the kitchen because I couldn't be bothered.  In 15 minutes of course    :lol

Brilliant, I'm going to use some of these in my everyday life.  Thank you.

H&H xx

[write]

I found Flylady incredibly useful too- not necessarily to make me tidier (!) but just to understand all those feelings attached to jobs and what I was telling myself...no rewards when I did everything, loads of negative thoughts when I didn't....

I let little things pile up to enormous intimidating piles of paperwork. More happens, the more I hide. Slipping into some sort of depression and I want to fight it off.

Sometimes it's hard to know what comes first- the jobs not done or the depression.

I tend to sort papers/pay bills etc when I have one eye on tv- neither activity really merits full attention!

But with other stuff I am learning to break it down.
A job search I guess that could be: write a standard letter and resume; check listings, decide where to apply, check how they want responses; if appropriate/ necessary call for more details/ go visit; get application form, complete, tailor letter...etc

This is a situation which was forced on you, your emotions are bound to be more conflicted than 'just walk away'...but don't let them completely demotivate you.

I can't remember if you're in therapy? but maybe a few minutes at the end of each day writing out emotions around this will help.

Gotta go ((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
( and you have snow! )

[mum]

If you read anything about Fung Sui, clutter is considered a block in energy flow....not a good thing. Besides all the "cures' and such, the simple act of cleaning up clutter always helps my mood and my kids (but jeezlouise, getting teenagers to clean up is a task in itself!!)

[Chicken]

What a fab-a-dab-doo thread!
and cadbury thank you so much for introducing me to Flylady, what a cool webpage!



I am a firm believer in keeping your surroundings in check. 

I agree completely with what you are saying. If you focus on the negative "oh, this is overwhelming...what if (insert bad outcome here)" then it is almost impossible to create what you want (you are focusing on what you DON'T want). But if you focus on a positive outcome....keep that foremost in your mind....then every little step you take keeps you moving in a positive direction!

We share the same philosophy Mum.  I read a book recently:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1401904599/qid=1139744873/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/203-0225125-6604740

called "Ask and it is given" by Esther and Jerry Hicks.  It talks about how you can create your reality all by what you focus on. 
It's a great book and I do recommend it.

Hopalong, If you are finding it hard to start, then try the baby steps. 
Maybe put an upbeat song up full blast first, to get the blood pumping and the positive energy flowing!  Then start with something small.  If you want it, it will come to you.

Good Luck

[Cadbury]

This thread is cool! Nicely motivating!

I think I originally found Flylady through this website, actually. I love the philosophy more than the actual "shining the sink" thing. It has helped me so much! I nowtry to keep on top of things rather than getting faced with a tonne of stuff that I have put off! One of the biggest things is to deal with mail as it comes in.... every day I open a letter and sort it. Then I don't get the piles building (at least, not as often as I did!!).

I am now off to clean - for 15 minutes of course!!

[Chicken]

You know what I am putting off?

I am fine with keeping my surroundings tidy and I am the most organised person I have ever come across when it comes to bills and paper work and everything like that...  because I am a "do-er"

But for some time now, I have been wanting to meditate, but I cannot bring myself to. 

I keep finding reasons not to.  I keep reading up on it and getting really excited about it, but never doing it!!!!

I want to... but I can't leave my computer/TV/phone/food/cups of Tea alone!

It's horrible! 


Anyway, I am going on a meditation retreat soon which involves 10 hours of meditation a day!! for ten days!!!!!  I am putting myself in the deep end here...

I should be practising!  But I'm not!

I am afraid of what's going to happen me when I am alone in the country with no phone, no talking, no computer...  nothing but me!

Oh help...

What am I letting myself in for! I need to start practising discipline now or I will fry...

[Cadbury]

Good luck with that Selkie.... it sounds dreamy! In 18 years when my last baby is big enough to take care of himself I would love to go on a yoga retreat. Yoga is something I love, I used to do all the time and now I never find the time to do it. We can be our own worst enemies sometimes!! Why is that?!!

I greatly admire you for being organised Selkie! I am not at all, every day is a huge effort t remember what needs to be done!

How about trying to meditate for 5 minutes? Pull the plug on your computer (I can talk!!) and spend 5 minutes.....

[Chicken]

Hi Cadbury,

Since my last post, I have looked into doing a weekly class in preparation.  It's a drop in class, and it just so happens to fall on my night off!

I couldn't be happier now...  There are weekly and weekend organised meditation "courses" in my favourite part of London. 

It will give me a nice excuse to leave all my distractions behind and concentrate on what's important to me.  I haven't felt this kind of deep sense of... "yeah!" in a long time which tells me I am on the right track!

I might try a weekend one before I head off on the big ten day one!!

Cheers
Selkie

 

[write]

re. Ask and it is given'

I am currently working through a day book and the focus is on tuning into spirit and right-mindedness...it's brought some amazing clarity this past few days.