He's gotten ahold of his gun

[movinon]

To update everyone, my stbxh retrieved his shotgumn from a friend's house last night.  He was not supposed to know where this friend lived and "coincidentally" picked it up when only theie 15yo son was there.  After CPS said they would not investigate, they apparently got a report from the counselor at the women's shelter which they took seriously.  Well, they called me on Friday and I asked that they not contact him until I had my daughter back. 

They asked me to come in on Monday with her.  I'm thinking someone slipped up and tipped him off and that's when he decided to get his gun.  I had taken the gun to this friend's house when I left 1 1/2 years ago. 

I called the police last night and they were HORRIBLE.  The cop was degrading and shaming saying all of the things I "should have" done when I was with him.  After I confronted him on the phone he was a "little" more willing to help.

The bad part is that I was trying to call my lawyer as well and was in a pretty messed up place.  We had not accounted for "emergencies" like this, so I was left w/ leaving a message at his office.  I did have HIS layer's home number and called and left a message (my lawyers assured me that this man would not let my husband do anything harmful - they're in a men's support group together).  I told his lawyer about CPS (as well as the gun).  Now I'm thinking my stbxh will be well-prepared to deal w/ CPS.

Movinon

[mum]

Try not to panic, Movinon.
 This is now how it is going.... When you have your daughter back...do as they say and go to speak to CPS.  Does your daughter come back today?
Consider having someone there with you when that happens, please. (I assume your ex brings her to your house?)
Take the shotgun seriously. Why does he have one? Why does he need it now?
These are serious things going on.
Do not get intimidated by cops. They can add such additional stress....but hang tough, as you did. Make them do their job...they work for the people (or are suppose to).
So what if your ex has info on CPS, etc.? Telling his lawyer about their involvement may prevent him from doing something awful to you or your daughter. THAT is what matters right now. Don't worry about the future legal dealings. You have just cause to make the decisions you have made.
Trust yourself.
It's ok to be emotional (who wouldn't be). Don't waste any time at all berating yourself for an emotional response, when you wanted to be "cool". It's all fine...You are protected. You are in the right. Breathe. Expect a positive outcome. This guy is going down, but he's not going to take you with him!!
You and your daughter are what matter. Focus on that.

Sending warrior angels....we've "got your back!!"

[movinon]

Mum,

She's supposed to be deliverd to by house this afternoon.  I have a STRONG feeling she won't be.  The gun was a gift from my father.  He never used it (except to threaten to shoot himseld in front of the children and I).

Why does he need it now?  No IDEA!!!!!  I think he's playing cruel mind games w/ me.

I will take it seriously and hope that I am over-reacting, but it's my baby he has!

Movinon

[Cadbury]

Huge hugs Movinon.... I will be thinking of you. I know that doesn't help, but it is all I can do. I hope it turns out well for you and your daughter is back soon .... Take care...

[mum]

Movinon. If he does not come back with your daughter, contact the police. Take an officer with you to retrieve her. I can't believe he would be that stupid...especially if he has a lawyer (who would tell him not to screw up).

[write]

hi M, I have nothing to say except hope your fears are unfounded and thinking of you.

[Hopalong]

Movinon,

Please take all Mum's advice...

You hold on strong...

YES the police are YOUR public servant and you are not wrong to assert yourself to them, or CPS.

You are a mother tiger and it's okay to roar.
HUGE STRENGTH TO YOU.

You are not alone.
With prayers,

Hops

[movinon]

My daughter is back!!!!!!!!  I had a couple of people w/ me in case he tried to pull something.

He did not answer me when I asked about her school uniforms and walked off.  Apparently, he was EXTREMELY upset about the police being called on him.  He told them that he did not go to pick up the gun.  At first I was upset about this, but I realize this will be GREAT evidence for court.  The only bad thing is that I think he might have it stashed at a friend's house. 

I found out that he's been telling everyone in 12-step meetings (we both belong to the same) how horrible his bitch of a wife is treating him. Fun huh?

Oh, he also had a "female friend" over at 10:30 last night.  My daughter was sitting on her lap when the police arrived.  He has been seeing this woman for about 3 weeks now, and get this, she has a 4 year old daughter.  I hope she protects herself SOON!!!!  Please say a prayer for her and her daughter that her eyes are open!

I was just telling a friend tonight that he has been acting strange for about 3 weeks and then I find out this piece of information.  Isn't intuition a wonderful thing when you let it in?  I KNOW this won't be good for his case either, and he is a RAGING sex addict and I think it won't be long until he's having "sleepovers" w/ them.  I hope not.

Green cards - Does anyone know if someone who posses a green card but is NOT a citizen can have firearms?  Gary?
Also, the gun is registered in my deceased father's name.  My ex never registered it in his name.  Do I have any legal recourse there?

CPS tommorrow

Movinon

[mum]

Whew! I'm breathing a sigh of relief for you, Movinon. Of course he is angry. Don't even concern yourself about how he feels. Move on, movinon....do what you must. I think your lawyer, or maybe even CPS? might answer your firearm questions. I know in the state I am about to move to, being in posession of a gun that is not registered to you is mandatory jail. (can't wait to get there!!) The state I live in now, however, anything goes....you can "pack heat" anytime you want....of course it must be registered.....but in the wild west...YEEEHAW....just about anyone can get a license to walk around with a gun...even a concealed weapon (not too many hurdles for that even). I can't wait to get out of here!

But I digress....maybe you can call the state regulators or whoever they are who do that kind of thing and simply ask those questions. 
Good luck tomorrow....may the force be with you (the mother force!!!).

[Hopalong]

I'm so glad she's home safe.

Sending strength,
Hopalong

[Cadbury]

Thank god she is back safe and sound. First thing I did when I woke up was check and see

Take care, I hopw it gets sorted out for you.

[Healing&Hopeful]

I'm so glad your D's home safe and sound.

Stay strong.

H&H xx

[mudpuppy]

Hi movinon,

I am not aware of any law barring a non citizen from possesing a firearm, assuming the person has a clean record. But I'm not sure, having never dealt with the situation. I suggest you Google BATF and contact someone if you want to know definitively.
However, if he has any convictions for a felony, or has been convicted of domestic violence (even a misdemeanor) or has a restraining order against him regarding a domestic partner, been judged mentally defective, is an illegal drug abuser or has been dishonorably discharged from the military, then he would be generally prohibited from possesing a firearm.
As you point out though he could simply store it at a friends house, although this would subject his friend to possible prosecution if your nut is prohibited from possesing a firearm.

Hope that helps.

mud

[movinon]

Well, my D and I were at CPS for 3 hours this morning.  My D did not indicate any sexual abuse, but did admit to showering and sleeping w/ her dad who apparently wears pjs.  I gave my interviewer my "list" that I posted here + behaviors w/ the children.  Needless to say, she seemed taken aback.  She asked if he had ever been diagnosed w/ a mental illness!!  We go back tomorrow for a physical and they will be calling him and will meet with my son as well.

One of the character references I gave is my sponsor and a therapist.  She's the one who told me before I left that he was BPD and a sociopath and that he was VERY dangerous.  I think she will be key in this case b/c she's seen him in action.

I am terminating my contract with my collaborative lawyer.  He even suggested that it's getting pretty serious w/ the gun thing and him LYING about having it.  I have already spoke w/ another lawyer who will be meeting w/ me tomorrow.  I will go and try to get a PO in the morning.

I'm now debating on hiring a PI b/c of his involvement with this other woman.  If he is starting to outright lie, and she (maybe) has some kind of history, proving that he is lying would be BAD for his case.

Movinon
On the gun thing, he IS an alcoholic, who stopped drinking 4 years ago.  He is untreated though.  Hopefull, he will be under a PO soon and the gun will be taken away (if they can FIND it).

[movinon]

Mum, H&H, bean, Hops and mud,

Thanks for the supportive words.  They TRUELY do help lift me up to take on this battle

Movinon