Moon, I felt it. Thank you so much.
And Moon and Sugarre, you're right. I am better this a.m. about facing that the nurses will be good to her and I can't relieve all her discomfort. I am staying home this morning just relaxing and waiting to hear from the doctor.
Seasons, the job situation and search is overwhelming right now. I've worked on a new application but also have a freelance thing going (late) on top of the demands of the current job and my whole being is resisting. The plan is to launch into writing letters and sending out resumes again. But I haven't been doing it. I am nearly phobic about it after 8 years of chronic layoffs, long stretches of temp work, etc.
But phobias don't pay the bills, so thanks for the reminder.
I have an intuition that this will be Mom's final illness. A bowel obstruction is the very likely diagnosis and at 95, it's just a matter of keeping her comfortable. I don't know for sure until I hear later today what the CAT scan showed. She can't keep down the contrast fluid because of her nausea, poor thing, so she has a tube for that.
So, Moon, I don't know that she'll be getting better. But picture this: she made it through a long boring winter (she had terrible cabin fever and many fewer visitors), the weather here has been absolutely glorious for the last week, the crocuses are blooming, and she went out in her own car Saturday (by herself, at 95) and shopped for a few things and enjoyed it.
If she does pass away in the next week or so, she will have lived her life to the very fullest for an amazing amount of time, and despite the crises of the last decade, been spared much worse.
(When doctors see her they often do a doubletake and re-check her chart, because they don't believe she's 95. She takes fewer meds than I do, and she looks a decade or more younger.)
Rambling, but thanks much for listening...
Hops