Smart/Stupid/Silly Animal Stories, just for fun

[seeker]

Hello!  I've been hovering around this board for quite some time now, but I never saw the "Dog Story" thread before today.  I want to share something about one of the smartest dogs I've known.  About 34 years ago, my husband, four year old son, and I went to the local humane society to give a donation.  We had just moved into this area, which was quite rural at the time.  Well, we went to give a "donation" and came home with a scruffy looking terrier/poodle mixture of black and white mischief.  Our son named her Choo-Choo.   We lived on an 85 acrea farm, and son and dog would have a grand time playing outside.  One day, Choo-Choo "disappeared" for about 1/2 hour....then home she came,  carrying  a neighbor's Corning Wear souffle bowl in her mouth.  She seemed quite proud of herself.  Then off she went, once again.  Half an hour later, Choo-Choo appears with a partial 4 pound bag of Alpo!  What a dog!  And when you would scold her, she would grin (full blown grin) and wag her tail.

[mum]

Can't believe I missed this thread! Like most lifelong dog lovers, I have a bazillion stories. But I will stick to "smart"...

This is about one of my dogs (we call him the middle one now since we got a third dog....like Jan in the Brady Bunch ..."Marcia, Marcia, Marcia", he's started jumping on people for attention...and he's big!)
Anyway, he watches television. Intently. Whenever my kids bring friends over, it's the first thing they do: "watch him watch TV".
Now we are not sure if this means he is smart or just strange, but he watches intently, and will attack the TV if any animals are on the screen, cats and dogs in particular, but he also goes for apes, fish, anything.  Forget watching Animal Planet network. Once I left that channel on, and the TV was covered in dog spit, but worse, another time there was a show about neglected/abused animals, and I swear he look depressed after that.

Stranger, too, is that he goes for cartoon animals as well. You know that dog "Brian" in Family Guy (what can I say, I have teenagers...). Well, he recognizes that martini drinking, upright walking and speaking 50 year old as a dog!

And he recognizes theme songs from shows that he likes and comes running if he hears them, and parks his but right in front of the tv just waiting for something he likes to happen.
 The show "Trading Spaces" used to have a part where the people cleared the room, in fast motion, and that segment would always start with a piano flourish. Well this crazy dog would run, full speed from wherever he was in the house, just to attack the people moving abnormally fast on TV.

He looks like my other big dog, a Flat Coated retriever, but a bit different, and I think he has Border Collie in him. Why else would he have taught himself to fetch the mail and the paper? This guy needs a job.

Thanks for letting me share.

[Hopalong]

These are great, guys. Nothing like some animal laughs to cheer you up! Thanks!

(I changed the title of the thread...open season on pet stories...more more more!)

love,
Hops
PS--My first husband, a huge yellow Lab, chased rocks, bricks, stones, and chunks of cement. He liked them much better than sticks. Needless to say, he had a few dental problems. He was a GOOF.

[mum]

OUCH! The cement reminded me of something. Once, while I was rock climbing in a canyon in Northern Arizona, there was a couple who brought their dog with them. We didn't know them, but the dog was chasing little rocks and bringing them back to the man who was belaying the obvious owner of the dog (his girlfriend, maybe?). I can't remember how it happened, exactly, as the belayer would have dropped her if he had done this: but someone threw a HUGE rock, thinking it would be impossible for the dog to catch, and it would then leave the people alone for a while. Well, that dog jumped up and CAUGHT the huge thing in it's mouth...or tried. You should have heard the screaming from the woman who was up the canyon wall! (her dog,we figured).
She came down immediately to aid her dog, who still seemed happy, but I can imagine, broke some teeth at least. I bet that climbing trip stopped being fun in an instant!!!

[seeker]

My husband's and my first dog was a Dachshund. (We've been married 41 years, and you wouldn't believe the number of pets we've had....and still have).  "Snoopy" went everywhere with us...even fishing in a rowboat.  The first time he was with us, when H threw the anchor overboard, Snoopy tried to "catch" it.  Unfortunately,  Snoopy was tethered to the seat of the rowboat, and as he jumped over and out, he came to the end of the leash.........schreech, jerk, and down he went.  He, fortunately, was a fast learner and didn't do that again!

[Hopalong]

Oh these are fun!
Welcome, MountainSpring!
I loved your crazy cat-naps story...very funny. But I have to say imagining Max barking at ants was my fave. LOL! 

Welcome Seeker!
And thanks for the introduction to smirking smart Choo-Choo! Hilarious, and what a charmer. Reminds me of the time my old lab brought home a huge roasting pan...we were out in the country so he must've walked a long way with this thing in his jaws. 

Bean, that's a hoot about the doggie having an entitlement snit. Hmmmppff!

Mum, I love your TV hound, too, that's a stitch! Must be hard to see your favorite shows through the slobbered up screen! (I bet your dog would learn to read in a heartbeat. I've been seeing news clips on a new fad...teaching dogs to "read" from flashcards. They're responding to the shapes, but it's fun to watch.)

Hops

[Hopalong]

Seeker, PS: poor Snoopy! Anchors aweigh--ooof.

[mountainspring]

Hi Hops,

Great thread! I just love animals.  We have a little maltese now. She's really sweet. When she wants to be held she will jump up a few times and if we don't pick her up she climbs up our legs.  She'll bark furiously at other dogs if we are holding her, but if we put her down she's suddenly not so brave.   

[seeker]

Hopalong

You have a very nice way of making people feel welcomed.  Thanks!

[mum]

Bean, the door thing got me to remember: When our older dog (flat coated retriever) was younger, and we had a female golden, older than him, he used to open the screen door for her, let her in and then come in himself.  She ruled the roost, so we always imagined he was saying, "after you, madame". It was so cool. I had to put hardware cloth over the screen, though.
I figured that out after a few claw holes.

Then when our newer (tv watching) guy came along, (after our old golden died) HE learned how to open the door, but jumped up much higher, so hardware cloth had to go up 2/3 up the door. But he does not open it for our older flat coat, the original door holder. Maybe cause he's another guy, but he just opens it for himself. He has no manners. 
And our (now older) flattie does not even bother opening the door anymore, although I got him on Rymadil, of late, so watch out!

[lightofheart]

 
Thanks for sharing these gems..laughing my head off picturing these food-stealing/roost ruling/door openers & co. Can't decide if it would be a good or bad thing if all these smart pets knew each other and joined forces, but they'd surely take over the world.

Another smart, stupid and silly--the humans being the silly ones--dog story:

Our dog is small, but crafty and determined, a real Houdini escape artist. He's legendary for this: everyone within two miles has seen me in all manner of PJs, day and night, trolling the neighborhood with lunch meat trying to catch him...the posse has been as big as a dozen people, ranging for miles, all of us trying to snare a 20-pound imp who laughs harder the closer we get.

Anyway, we installed an 8-foot chain link dog run out back for him. Looked escape-proof...till the day I drove home and saw him running joyful laps around our neighbor's house, driving their Rottweiller wild. Amazingly, the dog run door was still shut, everything intact. We couldn't figure out how he did it. So my H. & I put him out there again on the weekend, while we were home, to see if he'd try again. An hour later, H. yells 'You gotta' see this!' I run to the window and there's our dog, a good five feet up, scaling the chain link paw over paw, like Spiderdog. H & I are so astonished, watching, he almost makes it out before we run out & grab him.

Lesson learned, we thought. We put a roof on the dog run. Only he busts out again, this time by hanging from the top long enough to chew a dog-size hole through the wires that attached the roof. This time we really learned our lesson. And sold the dog run.

We're sure if this dog had thumbs he'd find a way to drain our bank account, steal a car, and head off into the sunset, laughing...

Thanks again for all these great stories, everyone. My stomach hurts from laughing.

 
LoH

[mum]

Light of heart:
I'm on the floor, here! Sooo funny. How does that dog do it??

Geez, maybe you need to get that dog a job, door to door salesman or something!!!
In the old days, we had no leash laws. Of course, it was dangerous, but our childhood dog was always out about the neighborhood and he always came home. Maybe your dog is just an old fashioned kind of pup!! This was quite a long time ago, and people didn't neuter pets either so we saw lots of dogs that looked like him around the area as well!!

I am moving soon, so I have no idea how my dogs will deal with a new area!! People tell me to get an "invisible fence" but I cannot imagine my dogs getting an electical shock everytime they try to leave the property. We will put a fence up.

[Hopalong]

Hey Mum,

what if you just thought of the invisible fence as a trail of siberian tiger pee?

Hops

[mum]

hahahahaha, I am just picturing the conversation my dogs will have: "well, wait a minute, I read that those things are extinct" "yeah, lets go google it"....."here kitty kitty kitty"

[lightofheart]

Hi there Mum,

Thanks, I'm glad he gave you the giggles.

As to, How does that dog do it??

Best answer I can think of is that, like you and all the wonderful folks here and all the crafty pets in these stories, he pulls off amazing feats 'cause his absolute burning need to do it is bigger than whatever obstacles are in the way, including mondo fences.

 

PS - I had the same qualms as you about Invisible Fence, Mum. My Mom's so in love with this dog/scared he'll get hit by a car one day, she tried to buy it for us as a gift. The IF guy spent 10 min. with our dog and said, 'Hate to say it, but I think this dog's will is too strong for this to work: I don't think he'd let a little jolt stop him. Sorry, m'aam, I'd have to say he's beyond fences.'