Hiya Hops, somehow I got in, without watching the ad (because the ad wouldn’t load for me) but hey-ho, I’m happy!
I’ll quote some. I like this:
There is of course a name for the kind of adult behavior we are talking about -- narcissism. But I prefer to think of it in a more literal and vivid way, as the phenomenon of a child wearing an adult suit. It is more graphic and strange that way. Also it is easier to think of ways to deal with a narcissist if we think of the narcissist as a child. For instance, do you not occasionally lose your patience with a child? Do you live in fear of saying something that the child will not like? No, I do not think so. You accept that there is much that the child will not like but which is necessary. Do not children sometimes throw tantrums and pout for days? …really hammering home that idea that here before me stands a five-year-old so why should I expect her to behave like an adult?
And:
But for a parent to seriously compete with her own daughter ... why would she do that? Unless she were still in some sense trying to become an adult by competition and imitation. That is another way in which viewing your mother's behavior as the struggles of a child may be instructive. Yes I like this. And these days my mother has commented to me several times about how I seem like the adult and she’s still a child; about how she’s never even felt like a mother
, but more like a child (yes, really) (((((Nmum)))))…and sometimes she’s tries to understand me….and then she reflects on herself (compares) and up go those building bricks, stuffing up the holes in the edifice.
I don’t know. It’s difficult for me not to have hope for something sometimes, but then I give myself a good talking to, and look at the reality: which is that although a five year old can learn skills, they don’t actually
understand, the logic circuits aren’t in place. So it becomes
copying behaviour. I think.
I don’t think narcissists need vilifying – I think we need more general understanding that we have adult children amongst us who will never grow up. Some are dangerous, some aren’t. Like us, they’re all different people.
I’ll defend narcissists I guess. There are worse things in the world and not every bad thing is a result of narcissism.
