Author Topic: Got the bloooooooooz  (Read 4506 times)

Hopalong

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Re: Got the bloooooooooz
« Reply #15 on: May 20, 2006, 01:10:45 PM »
Hee! Hair!
Yup, it's been gray since my early 30s, white since 40. Genetic thing.
Oh my, hair stories!

Yep, I have colored it off and on. Brown (originally dark brown), reddish, blonde, blonder, blonde as a gold Christmas ornament from KMart, ash blonde, light ash brown was the last one. In between, in my forties, I had it grown out white for a long time, about six years, and used blue shampoo occasionally. (But not often enough to become a card-carrying bluehair.) I actually loved it. My friends loved it. My child loved it. Men looked but the only ones to ask me out were way older. I kid you not! The only date I had for years after my divorce (a lot my doing, since I was retreating then too) was a 75 y/o pediatrician. Very nice fellow. But I'm sitting in his SUV while he's trying to peer over the wheel, and I'm a pretty svelte 45, got a dimple, and he's chatting away happily about what we'll do "next". Vat vas rongk vit dis pictoor?

So I consult the gfs, and they say, silly, if a white-haired man looks across the room and sees your white hair, it doesn't matter if the face under it looks young, he thinks you're just right for him.

So back I went to the box. Problem was, my white hair was a tempting canvas. And one night I'm bored, wandering around the drugstore, and I see a nice looking color, brown with some red. Cool! But I didn't read the box...it was one of those colors that says in the small print "not recommended for those with over 50% gray". Whoops! My hair came out like a flourescent fuschia...a color never seen in nature, not even in a sunset. The very best part was the next morning at work. (I was a director then, at a publishing company, and staff were forever wandering in and out of my office...they'd just walk in talking about whatever it was, since I was a low-key boss and didn't need formalities.) The BEST part about my fuschia head was that all morning long, about every thirty minutes, someone would walk into my office and scream. It was so funny! Then I went and got it fixed at a salon.

Then a year ago, for my 55th birthday, I quit. I'd been coloring it myself for a long time to save money and hated the process, plus I was back at this very sexist university where I work, and getting pissed off about ageism and sexism. It was a rebellious thing, and also a self-affirming thing, to stop. For the first few months people would glance at my creeping white roots as though, aren't you forgetting to take care of yourself? But now it's halfway out and it's obvious I've made a choice. People say nice things, and I like it.

I had started to realize that when I looked in the mirror and my white roots were showing I felt a surge of panic, like, oh god I've got to cover this up! It was as though I was afraid of my hair. Then I started thinking about the culture...our obession with youth, realizing that for me personally, it was internalizing something hurtful. I wanted to find myself okay with my real hair. (I still do a little makeup and like pretty clothes. It was that the hair was something I had begun in my 50s to feel I had to hide, like I was obeying a rule someone--this whole damn culture--had given me. You are not allowed to age.) Natch, show me the rule that says what a woman's not allowed to do...and I want to break it if I'm brave enough.

This was not real bravery, mind you. Superficial. But at the time it felt like a big decision.

Thanks for being curious, P! I know what you mean about enjoying dyeing it too, because for many years, I really enjoyed my color. It was fun.

Hugs,
Hops

« Last Edit: May 20, 2006, 01:18:31 PM by Hopalong »
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Portia

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Re: Got the bloooooooooz
« Reply #16 on: May 20, 2006, 01:38:23 PM »
I loved your hair stories Hops. I didn’t know there’d be so much in there!

My hair came out like a flourescent fuschia...a color never seen in nature, not even in a sunset.

Oh I wish I could have seen this! :D Did it look vaguely punk-ish and very cutting edge? I see this colour on a few women here now (post-post-post-punk irony?).

I’ve been blonde (brassy), red (wow it made me look pink-faced :?) and deepest black….I quite liked black but people seemed scared of me. When it was blonde, people approached me as though I was more friendly. Black – they stayed away. Again, appearances are everything and it’s so sad. I’ve always tried to challenge that appearance thing: worn sensible clothes to rock concerts, silly clothes on the street. It’s just hair/clothes/my face – it’s not who I am (apart from my eyes which I think do reflect your inner workings).

But what about your hair now Hops? I read that Movinon dyes some of her grey strands blue (I bet that’s true royal blue, or fluorescent, not a blue rinse). How about a few striking highlights? Gold? haha :D I’m not convinced the hair is now decided upon.

It’s odd but it’s about how others react isn’t it? Not how you feel you look. Humans, we’re odd we are.

Better go. I liked your hairstory (herstory, history). Hope you enjoy the rest of Saturday Hops. 

Hopalong

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Re: Got the bloooooooooz
« Reply #17 on: May 20, 2006, 03:45:38 PM »
Oooooo, Goth Portia, what an image!
(I hope you wore your Valkyrie gear too.) Love it.

Yep, you read me like a book. Once the pure white is all the way to my shoulders, I have fantasies of PINK STREAKS for special occasions. (Only the wash-out kind though!)

 :lol:

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

seasons

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Re: Got the bloooooooooz
« Reply #18 on: May 20, 2006, 04:07:19 PM »
Hello Hops,

I would love to share a glass of lemonade with you on that porch! Lovely..........Sweet.......Fun......

  It feels yucky when friends are hurting and feel alone. Ya know, you want them to keep dreaming, loving, hoping all that you are and can be.
Aren't we always in need of a spark, a new inner voice to twinkle in our spirit

You received wonderful support. I'm glad your printing Sela's reply. (Sela) and (Hops)

Sending a shooting star your way........seasons

"Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the Rest to God."
Maya Angelou

ANewSheriff

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Re: Got the bloooooooooz
« Reply #19 on: May 20, 2006, 09:01:01 PM »
Hops:
Quote
If we still had a village culture we'd probably all be sitting on a porch together somewhere

What happened?  This used to be a reality not a fantasy.  I do not have fairytale memories of my childhood by any stretch, but I do remember a sense of community that does not seem to exist today. 

Remember?  When all the mommas stood on back porches and yelled for their kids to come home for dinner because the last place a kid wanted to be was inside on a couch?  When kids had neighborhood ballgames where some of the outfielders got ball gloves and some didn't and not enrolled in organized soccer games lined with minivans and SUVs?  When you just showed up at the neighbor's house in your bare feet and asked if your little buddy could play and play dates weren't scheduled on a calendar for a five year old?

Ahhh, you make me smile with these memories.  Thank you for that little reprieve...

ANewSheriff

 

 
Change the way you see the world and you will change the world.

Plucky

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Re: Got the bloooooooooz
« Reply #20 on: May 24, 2006, 01:11:22 AM »
Hi there Hoppy,
at the risk of sounding really awful, I have to say I am a little glad that you feel bad.  Why?  Because it is probably a symptom of a realisation or breakthrough that you are about to have.

Having said that. I am really sorry you are not feeling too plucky right now.  You are one of the nicest people I know!  You always find a kind word for anyone, no matter how that person expresses him/herself.  Not many people can constantly find the right side of another individual  as you can.

You are in a tough spot.  Of course all of your emotions are valid, and normal, and worthy.  By worthy I mean, they deserve to be felt, and not minimised, apologised for, supporessed, or swept under the rug.  If only you (and many of us) could be as kind to yourself as you are to others!

I agree with your concept about your hair.  Why should it be something to 'correct'?  It's beautiful.  It's natural.  You are right to want to be yourself, after having had to conform for so long to the expectations of others.   

Quote:
Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen

Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy

Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
Hoppy's hair

Let it fly in the breeze
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain't no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of Hoppy's...

Plucky



Healing&Hopeful

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Re: Got the bloooooooooz
« Reply #21 on: May 24, 2006, 07:19:00 AM »
Sweet sweet white haired ((((((((((Hoppy))))))))))

I hope you are feeling a bit brighter and I’m sorry I didn’t read your post sooner.

I love your hair stories…. Giggling away at my PC when I read about your fushia hair.  Could picture it so clearly.

A thought came to my mind as I was reading where you said about us being a culture who loves youth.  I feel while that’s a part of it, it’s also about feeling good about yourself… if dying your hair helps you to feel good then why not? Maybe you can be ok with your natural hair, but also be ok to dye it, not to try and look more youthful, but because it helps you to feel better? Just a thought….

What helps you to feel happier Hops?  Is it to watch a movie?  Read a book?  Go for a walk?  The people who you go to church with, can you arrange to meet up with them for a coffee one evening? 

Regarding looking for new employment… I’m not sure if it’s the same with you but next year a new law is coming out where employers won’t know the age of the candidates.  Every CV we get through the age/date of birth is already omitted in preparation for this.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hoppy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Love H&H xx
Here's a little hug for u
To make you smilie while ur feeling blue
To make u happy if you're sad
To let u know, life ain't so bad
Now I've given a hug to u
Somehow, I feel better too!
Hugs r better when u share
So pass one on & show u care

lightofheart

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Re: Got the bloooooooooz
« Reply #22 on: May 24, 2006, 07:52:18 AM »
Hi there Hops,
Just caught up on this thread, finally, and boy, did I love your story about the fuchsia hair and trucking to work with it. A great image, a keeper, and I especially appreciated all the priceless stuff you shared out about you; imho, great qualities about you I hope you're remembering just now:

-You're a low-key kinda boss who staff feel comfortable with, valued by her enough to just wander in and chat. Welcoming Hops!

-You rolled the dice and dyed your hair without even particularly reading the box...and gifted the world with a fuchsia not found in nature. That's some pretty generous colorization to share. imho, lots of people would have skipped work or gone to the salon first.

-You found it hilarious that people walked into your office and screamed:lol: Wow, I've never had a boss with such a good sense of humor, am gladder just to know at least one goofin'-on-my-hair Hops is out there, taking meetings. Can't imagine what a different world  my organization would be if my boss did anything warmer than shoot daggers at us threshhold crossers, never mind learned to laugh at Himself. Could we send him out to you for debriefing, Hops? Seems like you have a wonderfully kooky approach to share with the grimmer bosses of the world...there'd be tremendous upside for worker productivity and morale, ala the Hops school.

How are your back and teeth feeling, Hops; better, hopefully? imho, it takes courage to put a tiny pity party out into the world, and even more just to give yourself permission to feel one. I'm inspired by this...will try to keep your strong example in mind next time the blooz sneak in. Or drop like a lead balloon. Thanks for sharing every bit of it!

 :D to you, Hops,
LoH

PS - Plucky, I loved your poem! Also, the good points you made about growing for our low spots. Thanks for your wisdom.

Hopalong

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Re: Got the bloooooooooz
« Reply #23 on: May 24, 2006, 08:58:42 AM »
Oh my, so much support I hardly know where to start! Thank you, thank you:

Seasons, Sherrif: y'all sit down right here on the porch swing, it's got new cushions. I'll fetch the lemonade...you just enjoy the breeze...

Plucky: how did you know I actually went to see HAIR on Broadway back in the Jurassic era? It was so cool. My bf had connections and we had 2nd row seats and at one point a naked actor sat in my lap. He was very sweaty. Great music.

It's so nice to hear from you Plucky. So glad you're still here!

H&H: thanks hon...I just need to keep plugging away. I think although the ADs are helping they're also making me kind of groggy, which makes it easier to hide from things in sleep. But I'm functioning better now, not feeling so bloooooo. Much better, really. And I'm hanging onto my hair decision! Longer and whiter it gets, better I like it. My T said the other day that he thought it looked good and did not make me look older anyway. "Strking", he called it. Oooo, vanity!

LoH: back is chronic but much better lately (this AD, Cymbalta, helps a lot with nerve pain, cool). Teeth fixing needs just one more appt. I loved it that you got how much I adored being a goofy boss. We had so much fun together at that company. That's what I keep dreaming of, another happy job where people skills matter as much as other kinds. I'm looking! I really do love a laugh, and where I am now people are so pompous they could float the Hindenberg. Thanks for laughing with me!

Hugs to all,
Hops

"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Sela

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Re: Got the bloooooooooz
« Reply #24 on: May 24, 2006, 10:31:39 AM »
Hi all:

I still say white hair is pure, natural and beautiful, imo.   Whatever feels best to you, Hops, I bet suits you.

I saw a girl once with florescent purple hair!    She was very lovely.  I love purple.  It's my fav!

I thought her hair looked ridiculous though.  Maybe that's what she wanted?  It's only hair eh?

Plucky!  So glad to see you!!  I always wanted to see that play:  "Hair" but I was too little.  Love that song!
Glad you're still around!

 :D Sela