Hi Everyone,
Mostly, I just want to thank all of you, every single person here, for putting your stuff out here for anyone to stumble along and read/wonder about/build on/or even...completely fly off the handle about. imho, this is sloppy work we're trying to do; I picture us scattered all over the place, splotched with paint or mud or wearing casts on our limbs (thanks, Stormy!), typing our hearts out. I find the whole experience of exchanging here humbling in a way I can't even describe. I'm awed by all the courage I see/hear here, daily.
I believe everyone here is doing their best, truly. I believe all of our bests are different, even different on any given day. I believe it's inevitable, in group sharing, that some bests will bump up against others, maybe even screech like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Because what I get here is important to me, I think I owe everyone here something: to pick the sharing path that I see as most helpful, least reactive, and generous of others whenever and however possible. I don't hate much in this world, but I do hate the idea that there are folks who don't feel safe to post due to all the conflict here. I think everybody here loses if someone who could otherwise gain/share something exits out of frustration or as self-protection. I know I can't control or influence this. What I can do, all I can ever do, is decide how I plan to interact with everyone here. Frankly, the idea of starting a thread of my own makes me feel slightly naked and queasy. If there is anything I'm sure about it's how little I know and the fact that I'm no expert on
anything.
That said, I have a need to set some golden rules for myself, rules I see as valuable. Utterly selfish rules. They have everything to do with how I will or won't converse with people here in the future. So that anyone who posts to me or about me in a way I'm not comfortable with can look this up, if interested, and know exactly why I didn't respond. I have no expectations of anyone else's response to this, even that anyone will read it. I
like that. Maybe I'll wimp out and delete in two minutes, but that's OK, too.
I hope anyone who wants to will chime in, too...hopefully with an idea of respecting others--whatever your idea of this is--in mind.
1. I will keep my expectations to myself and for myself. I'll keep
hoping though, 'cause I gotta' hope.
2. I will only address words/actions I see as disrespectful if I am asked about them, by name, or they are addressed to me by name.
3. Before I hit the 'Post' button, I will ask myself whether what I have to say is best posted, for everyone, or PMed to one person.
4. I will avoid characterizing the words/behavior of anyone who posts here in negative terms.
5. I will apologize if I even suspect I've been insensitive to someone else's feelings.
Thanks for giving me a chance to say this here. Now I'll shut up for a while.

Best,
LoH