Narcissus Wasn't the Only One w/a Mirror

[Hopalong]

Hi all,
I know it's a cliche but it keeps popping into my head:

I often get maddest and most judgmental of other people when they're displaying a tendency that I know exists in me (in my more conscious periods, anyway).

Just a thought...(not my favorite one, though!).

Ugghh,
Hops

 

[moonlight52]

Hi Hops I have learned from disputes and from loving intentions .I guess both are options .I just want to see myself out of touch with
TOXIC n father.Because I know I CAN TAKE IT FROM THERE.To where out of the pain.The finger I point points back to me .Is this
what you mean Hops .I have done  that sort of a circle thing.Lets take the same circle thing and not point fingers and kindly help each other.But if I got way out there ,I can take it I want to be corrected if I ERR.Which is plenty of times.Working on it as we all are.
Love and Light
Moon                    PS I see no sides to be taken we are all here because of rough stuff lets be good to each other.
                                      I will try harder

[lightofheart]

Hi Hops,

Thanks for putting one little 'uggh' out into the world...isn't it nice to tell something that feels icky and feel an ounce freer after it's out there (hope you do? fingers crossed!)? Look at it skittering off into the breeze, getting smaller in the distance...

I'll follow your good example and toss another one out: I'm more apt to tailspin over tendencies, so far as I can tell, that least exist in me. Must be 'cause, well, I'm so awesome (HA!) that my own personal bag of faults must be the best faults, and therefore other people's faults are truly the worst stuff. Convenient little judgement I'm onto, dontcha' think? 

Hi Moon,

I meant to say it earlier, but I'm very glad to hear about your tummy, and good to read you here.
Really liked what you said: The finger I point points back at me .
Whoa, isn't that the truth? Am rarely so tempted to smack myself as when I catch myself judging someone. Icky!
Gotta' believe I got this heart and brain to do better things with them.

Happy long weekend to you both--and everyone!

 
LoH

[Hopalong]

Hi Moon,
I agree...if someone's truly toxic (and your N"father" sure is) distance and detachment are IT. And sometimes with someone that hurtful the anger and judgment HELP you get there, where you need to be to heal.

I just don't like to get stuck there. I don't mind if I have moments of it. And I even am glad when I realize what it's about.

And good grief Moon, who could try harder than you do? (Hope you're not bashing yourself about not "trying hard enough" dear.) I think you are as wise as you are good, and that's VERY.
((((Moon))))

Hi LoH:
Forgot to mention I can be judgmental about any fault at all, I'm multijudgmental! Uggggghgghhghg.
I just think I'm at my most obliviously indignant when it's a quality that I may wrestle with myself.

my own personal bag of faults must be the best faults

  It's always so good when someone can make a human foible funny...you have a lovely sense of humor.

Hops

[moonlight52]

Hops    I am feeling very free of n- father. I think I am going to heal from his behavior.Wow , I can feel it. I do feel its right on track.
The board and everyone has helped me .OH Hops I feel for the first time in my life I am getting myself unhooked from his stuff.I feel it And I stopped beating myself up.Thats the key.OH hops I am a okey dokey person.Thanks ,I am glad you think so kinda cool ,I think so too.I think you are super.I feel really free for the first time in my life right now right here .Hops if I told you what he did you would not believe it.I am not up to posting about it .But I just do not care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ha ha ha I think I am feeling much less stickiness
I was so lacking in self esteem ,I feel freer of him some how.Thanks Hops funny how you said I am OK I feel it now. COOL
A very happy Moon 
PS I have gotten a lot of the anger out................What I mean is I am learning and I am feeling more unstuck than ever.

[Hopalong]

That's wonderful to hear, Moon! 
Wow.
Good for you!

Sleep tight,
Hops

[reallyME]

I have a question for anyone here...is it real common for N's to talk openly about their sex-life?  What has been your experience with this?

RM

[Hopalong]

Bleaahh.
My NMom would share inappropriately about my kind Dad, in ways that would have humilliated him. Grrr.
My 2nd husband, an N, was full of boasts about past prowess and relationships.
One Nexbf was...incapable for a bad reason (alcoholism).
One Nexbf dropped many hints about his allure but was incapable for a good reason (cancer surg).
My Nbrother made inappropriate comments, and has always had sexually creepy vibes.

Double bleaahh. NMom's insensitivity offended me most.

Hops

[reallyME]

Hopalong,

It sounds like you have some somatic N's in your family, ey?  Jodi was more of a cerebral N, with some somatic undertones.  She didn't actually discuss her love life openly, but she would make comments about how it made her SICK the way guys were staring at her.  We'd go out places and she'd say "Look at that guy over there staring at my butt!"  I'd look at the guy, and sure enough, he wasn't even looking remotely in her direction!  She did this quite often...prided herself on "everyone WANTS me"  "everyone needs my help and cries out Jodi Jodi!...it's been that way all my life!"  (Keep in mind, Jodi is a pastor's daughter, so she had to take care of the church people's children while her parents ran bible studies in her home)

Just odd,

RM

[Hopalong]

Hmmmm. Really, my NMom was a pastor's daughter too, oldest of 8.

I wonder...any connection, you think?

Hops

[reallyME]

Hopalong,

I do think there is a link!