It's been a long while since I've been here - trauma so I'm back

[Overcomer]

Just needing a little moral support.  Well, it was 9 days since I talked with the DM........he said they were going to set up interviews in person with the RVP.  I cannot believe how long this company is waiting to fill this position.  I originally interviewed for this right after Thanksgiving.  Meanwhile this store is being run by the Assistant Manager who will clearly take ownership.  If I get the position I may have some trouble establishing that I am the manager.  Anyway, I keep thinking that this is all in God's timing and that for some reason they are taking their own sweet time to offer this position.  Then after offering the position it is 30 days of training.  If they had given me the position right after the first of the year I could have my training done and be at the store.......oh well.  I am trying not to obsess!  Any thoughts??

[CB123]

Kell,

Maybe this job isnt as good as it looks?  Maybe you will find out that it is a big headache and you are glad you went elsewhere? 

It's starting to sound less ideal.  What do you think?

CB

[Overcomer]

Well, one would think with all this delay that maybe the company (or the DM) is less communicative than they (he) should be.  I am still holding out that this is the perfect job for me.  The mere thought of working there excites me.  It is doing something that I dreamed of doing since I was a teenager........it's funny, I applied at a store that sold what this store sells years ago....................all I could say to the interviewer is that I love _______!!!  Now almost 30 years later I have the chance to be the manager of a mega store!!!  I don't know.  I mean, they could be so busy and I am just one in a million things they have to take care of.....

Also, I left my nmom once before for another job and I was in the management program.......that meant I came in as a sales person and started learning the ropes to be a manager.  Well, at this job, I am the manager.  I walk in and I am in charge.  I love that.  No nmom.  No cut throat sales people trying to steal your customers.  I've decided that even though I was in sales for many years, I like retail management much better.  Sales is a vicious trade!!

So not trying to over spiritualize it, but I am thinking that maybe God is working out the timing so that it will be better all around.  My nmom gave a prospective buyer an information packet.  Now when I leave it can be "rationalized" by saying..............hey, you are selling, I need to take care of myself and family.  Had I left BEFORE she gave the packet to the man, she would have freaked out and told me I was bailing.

For whatever reason, I still think this is a great job.  The DM and I hit it off.  We just have to convince the RVP that I will be a good fit for the position.........I was praying that the RVP would finally say, "If the DM likes her, then I trust him and we can hire her sight unseen!!"

[Hopalong]

Hi Kell,
I feel for you, dear. It is so hard waiting.
Two thoughts, hope they're helpful:

--Wherever you wind up in a new job (and you WILL!)...I think it'd be good not to discuss your NMom or your feelings about her except in a brief way at the beginning if it's needed to explain

--Can you spend some time right now continuing to search and actively put in applications for OTHER jobs, even though this is the one you want most? I think if you do that, you'll be helping yourself feel better and more positive. Even multiple ones. Just doing it with a calmer optimism that says: I don't know which one of these will work out but I know eventually one is going to, so I'm just going to present my best working self to each one as I work on it.

((((Kell))))

Hops

[towrite]

I don't know you but wanted to offer my support. You've got a sticky situation there. It sounds to me like it would give you some peace of mind to (1) set your priorities - and stick with them (decide what your bottom line is), (2) set your boundaries - see the website posted recently about boundaries, and (3) accept that your grief is normal. Keep your chin up. My mother is the same in a lot of ways - she even threatened to cut me off in her will if I ever did "anything" to embarrass her. But I don't think she's as mean as yours.

towrite.

[kell as guest]

Well I already know what money I will accept at new job ifI am hired.  I have applied at at least ten other places but this place still feels the best.  My Mom is so self absorbed that she makes decisions for our business that are clearly made by a 70 Year old and our primary customer is 30 Something!  We cannot argue with her because She owns the store so we all are frustrated but me the most!  bookkeeper is close behind!

[Overcomer]

Well, I expect to hear something tomorrow?  Don't you think so??  I mean it has totally been 11 days tomorrow since I talked to him.  Why oh why would he say they were going to make an offer soon - as in next week - and that was like six weeks ago???  Waiting.  Waiting.  Waiting.  Waiting.  I actually went into the store and bought something.  Walked around.  Checked out the employees.  Walked around and saw where I think I could help the place.

I told my husband I am starting to get discouraged in a way.  Not obsessing like I was before but thinking - WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG???

Then I have to remind myself of the absolutely crazy making day in and day out interactions with my nmom and my aunt.  And somehow I think maybe God is teaching me even MORE patience.  I prayed for patience and it seems that everything in my life is a series of infuriating "make-me-wait" scenarios.  I have been praying for and strategizing my exit for years.  Almost from the time we bought the place  I made two false starts.  The first one they loved me and offered me the job but it was $15,000 per year less and I was living paycheck to paycheck.  The second one I made the jump and the hours were bell to bell - 9 am to 9 pm and I don't know about you but that is totally unacceptable.

Sorry about the ramble!!!!!!

[Gaining Strength]

Keeping you in my prayers Kell.  I like Hops' suggestions.  Keep interviewing.  That will keep you involved with what is out there.  You will be gaining good information about competitors and learning something about how to treat your underlings.  Plus it will keep your mind off the BIG ONE. - GS

[kell as guest]

I WILL SURELY GO MAD!  Today I saw my job re posted on career builder!  I know he said he wanted the RVP to meet me so he needed to get some people besides me to interview.  Gee!

[Dazed1]

Oh (((((((((((((((((((Kell)))))))))))))))))))!!

This waiting sucks.  But, remember the rollercoaster ride about 10 days ago?  Please don't get back on the rollercoaster.

Nonetheless, it seems like this company likes to play games and I am not digging that.  As CB said, maybe this isn't such a great company.  I just do not like the games they play.

Also, in the overall, life lesson, spiritual aspect of this experience, perhaps you are undergoing this as a means to teach patience?  Reminds me of the Southpark episode on Wii2.  I also have a big prob with patience, so it's a lesson I must learn.

I bet you're probably tired of hearing it, but keep on interviewing.

love,
dazed

[kell as guest]

Oh patience is not my virtue.  Well I texted him yesterday and he texted me back and said he would call me today with info.  We will see what kind of info!

[Gaining Strength]

Hang in there Kell - GS

[Leah]

You are in my thoughts and prayers Kell

Leah xx

[Overcomer]

THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!

[kell as guest]

I just talked to the DM and he told me that they are reconfiguring the districts and the glam RVP is no longer my manager so I will be meeting with a couple of new guys for this district.  He thinks this is good news for me and that is why all the delays because of all the shuffling around of districts and regions.