Hi Moon,
Thank you for starting this beautiful flow.
I've learned that seeing N behavior for what it is doesn't make me a less accepting or compassionate person. And that the energy I save in not to trying to compensate for Ns' stuff or twist it to a more positive light helps me feel safer and saner in my choices and whatever interactions are necessary.
I was in an N-driven tailspin the first day I came here, between my boss and and an N ex-friend (still part of a professional circle) who came to a get-together at my house and unspooled so much dishonesty, manipulation and rudeness that I was tempted to call an exorcist.
Days later I still felt unsettled...and, rather than accepting the truth of my own feelings, blamed myself for not letting it go.
Discovering VESMB and sharing here truly felt like walking into the light. I realized the degree to which I'd been judging myself for my feelings and the real struggles I was going through with both these people, over some of the same N-behavior that my F. had unleashed in my FOO and childhood.
Dr. G. has called it fighting for our lives. I don't feel that level of urgency, at least not now. But I do see myself fighting for my
truth, and how intrinsically worthy and freeing the journey of self-expression is for me. I also see how much there is to learn here, and inside, for every step of the way. imho, the surprising part, the blissfully unexpected gift, is all the humor, camaraderie and endlessly generous compassion that swell here: deep gorgeous waves--even from pain, even from people with plenty of reasons to be closed off or defensive who have largely chosen to embrace each other instead.
With awe and gratitude,
LoH
