I guess you don't know, reallyme. I wasn't using this board when the afore mentioned "battle" was going on, but I can go back and read things, I guess. All I know is what I have observed of your general behavior through your posting. I posted once regarding you and was asked by Portia to ask myself why I had a problem with you (rather, your postings). At that time, I didn't engage. I knew, why your postings really got to me, but I just couldn't go into my reasons at the time. The few responses to others from you I read brought back horrendous memories of my oldest sister, who is 15 years older than I. She tried for more years than I care to remember to make my life miserable. She did this to my other sister, who is two years her junior; however, she was able to escape her when she married and moved to the midwest. Even after I was married and living away from my home state, she managed to affect my life via her obsession with controlling our mother and keeping her to herself. She thought that mother should only love her, and she undermined my sister and myself continually. When I was young, she psychologically abused me in particular, probably because I was so "available" (being so young and still at home). I never told my parents of her tormenting me, because my daddy was dying with cancer from the time I was 12 years old until I was 18. He was a wonderful man, my best friend; and my mother was a very good mother, but he was so ill for so long, I didn't want to add to their concerns by telling them what she was doing. When I would cry about him, she said I was crying crocodile tears; when I would pray for him, she would denounce God. She lied on me, she projected what she thought and did onto me. (I figured this out much later in life) I realize now that many things she did were actually psychotic, i.e., I was walking home from school one day (I was about 13) and from her front door she called me to come into her house. She seemed very upset. She said someone had come in the basement door and was coming up the stairs to the kitchen. She had a gun. She opened up the basement door and shot down the stairs. I was so upset I began crying and screaming. She began laughing. The gun contained blanks. She thought scaring me was funny. There are too many examples to write, but she was clearly unstable. She knew that her husband tried to seduce me when I was 16 (I told), but she let him come back and then tried to put the blame on me. (I found out years later that he ran around on my sister with many women, and even tried to "seduce" his own teenage daughter---my niece told me herself). Then, my sister "got religion", along with her husband. They became religious zealots and called for everyone, including myself, to "repent-repent-repent." (for what??? I never knew) Her husband reminded me of Elmer Gantry. They were both so "religiously correct" to the public, but their hearts and minds were very dark indeed! She continued her quest for mother's sole attention and love. My mother developed Alzheimer's, and eventually succumbed to sister's will. She always tried to hurt me and she succeeded, until at approximately 39, I instituted my own "no contact" rule. That was 20 years ago. It necessitated that I also have no contact with my mother, but I realized in her condition, she was not the mother that I had known and loved for so many years anyway. I had to protect myself and my family from any more torment from the sister. Mother passed away four years ago at age 90, and I know that at least when whe was of sound mind, she knew how much I loved her. So, now my sister and her husband are 74 years old, and alone with each other, and their obsessions. I apologize for the lengthy background, but the memory of my sister, especially post "being born again", is triggered by your almost flamboyant style of writing and with turning people's words around. You emphasize so many words with large type, you aggrandize yourself by stating what you are doing academically, you try to impress people with your "knowledge" and by saying you are a therapist, etc. Perhaps I am being too cynical, but in my opinion, you appear to preach with what I perceive to be a forked tongue. You act as though you know everyone's particular hang up and the cure for it. You speak of God. and how you are one with Him; however, I am suspicious of your intentions. You engage people in a negative manner when you think you are not being paid enough attention, and you make certain you tell everyone on here anything which you think makes you seem above others, or at least on par with them. I realize that I have opened myself up to all kinds of negative responses, so I will say this for now.........I don't wish to get into a spraying contest. I wish you well, as I do everyone on here. I've come to the conclusion that I don't belong on this board, or at least I shouldn't post. I do want you to realize one thing, if you don't get anything else out of my post............I am not anyone but myself. I am not PM, I am not Jodi or anyone else you have accused me of being. There is no conspiracy, just my own opinions.
