Author Topic: Low Blows - Calling People N here  (Read 4571 times)

Certain Hope

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #15 on: July 29, 2006, 06:50:09 PM »
Hops, I think that you're quite likely right on the money there.

Pb, I had forgotten that piece of history... happened shortly after I arrived here. I'm sorry you were feeling sick, glad you've recovered as much as you have, and still hope you'll get the answers you need.

Love,
Hope

penelope

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #16 on: July 29, 2006, 07:09:57 PM »
I disagree hope.  Hops has backpeddled on this one before, and I will likely get a PM from her later apologizing (happened the last time).  So Hops, stay out of this.  It's not your place to decide what reallyme is doing or not, and whether it's appropriate.  You're not "the Mom."  I am taking care of my feelings here, and sticking up for what I believe.  It's not appropriate to treat me this way on the board.  I don't like it. 

I said what she was doing and how it made me feel - let her respond if she can.

btw reallyme, I have Never posted to you until now since you called me an N and were harrassing me.  But I feel that your behavior has escalated now and is perhaps causing me more damage.  Why are you posting to me again when I initially asked that you not do this and I've not posted to you since? 


thanks,

pb

reallyME

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #17 on: July 29, 2006, 07:35:46 PM »
Ok bean,

As I said, I have seen growth in you, which was A COMPLIMENT.  I understand that some people have a real hard time when others notice somethng positive and comment on it, but that's what I was doing there.

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Is there another way I should have interpreted this?  Cause I interpreted it to mean:  reallyme, you didn't approve of my behavior before, and now you see a definite change in me of which you do approve. 


That is EXACTLY what I was saying...except not that I approve, but that I ADMIRE.  Yes, I'm actually singling you out to CONGRATULATE YOU AND APPLAUD YOU.  I do not feel that is a wrong thing of me to do.


Now, I'm going to violate one of my own rules here, since you seem to have this thing of wanting to intimidate people even when they are merely voicing their own feelings and responding to a PUBLIC message board which is for VOICELESS people.

THIS WAS POSTED IN PRIVATE TO ME, EVEN AFTER ALL HER INVITATIONS FOR ME TO RESPOND ON THIS THREAD.  I will let you all decide what the issue really is here and with whom:

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From PB in my private messages, after having invited me and even gently urging me to respond to her in front of all you:  If you don't have anything nice to say, I don't wish for you to keep responding to my posts reallyme.  Can you understand that?  I don't like reading your posts to me when they're mean - which they typically are.  Do you have a compulsion to hate?  Why have you picked me?  I have left you alone here, please give me the same courtesy so we can both coexist here in peace.  Thank you.

Now, I ask you all, which do I believe?  Is it ok to respond to this person or do I believe her private message and remain voiceless here.

seeker

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #18 on: July 29, 2006, 07:55:29 PM »
I believe PB.   And, by the way, PB, I admire you for what you've said.  I understand your perceptions of reallyme and totally agree.

reallyME

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #19 on: July 29, 2006, 08:08:45 PM »
seeker, how do I know you are NOT PB herself?  She has come on in private names here before...at any rate, it doesn't matter

penelope

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #20 on: July 29, 2006, 09:24:21 PM »
reallyme,

I know I'm not seeker.  I also know I've received many PM's from people who've told me they want to leave the board because of you.  I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm letting you know your words do have an affect on people.

I've tried to tell you exactly what affect, and I think I was brave in discussing my feelings, and getting to the point.  I know it's difficult for you to hear this.  But Live and Let Live reallyme. 

You don't have to answer any of my questions, but please think about what you're doing to me.  It hurts.  It truly does.  I hope you can sleep at night knowing this, cause I personally could not if I had intentionally hurt someone, and when they said OUCH I Kept on doing it.

bean

p.s. (and unless I have two IP addresses, how is it that both seeker and I can be logged on at the same time?)  p.p.s. I think I know who seeker might be, but again, it's not my place to stick up for others here.  But I will stick up for myself.

Also, since the initial paranoia I had, I've been feeling calmer about reallyme not being a cyber stalker.   :shock: Weird, and abusive maybe...but not a stalker.  It's too hard to stalk me on the internet anyway.   :P

reallyME

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #21 on: July 29, 2006, 09:36:17 PM »
Thank you for clarifying that I don't have to answer your questions.  If I don't respond to you then you won't feel hurt by my words.  That works for me.

As far as people leaving the board due to me, that would be their choice.  I have done nothing different than many on this board...gave my views on things, made myself have a VOICE.  That's what it's all about I think.

I'm glad you know I'm not a stalker.  I'm a mother of 4 daughters, a wife of a husband for 20 years, and a worshiper in my church, where I sing.  I play keyboard and guitar and I own a restaurant, which sometimes I feel guilty about, because I have to leave my children home for a while without me.  I am a college student, majoring in Child Development...why am I telling you all this?  Well, I guess I just chose to.

I'm an opinionated person, but I have morals and values that I will not be moved off of, like many of the others on this board too.  I realize this, so thank you for giving me the boundary of not needing to answer your questions, because I will most definitely answer them with my view and opinion and belief, which you find offensive on and off.

BLessya,
Laura

penelope

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #22 on: July 29, 2006, 09:36:47 PM »
BTW,
Thanks for reminding me that I said something totally sane and logical to you in that PM.

I said:
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If you don't have anything nice to say, I don't wish for you to keep responding to my posts reallyme.  Can you understand that?  I don't like reading your posts to me when they're mean - which they typically are.  Do you have a compulsion to hate?  Why have you picked me?  I have left you alone here, please give me the same courtesy so we can both coexist here in peace.  Thank you.

That sounds like something I would and I'm sure I did say (although I've not gone back and looked).  So, is there a problem with heeding that advice at this time?  Is this something you can't quite answer now, cause before I said don't reply?  Who do I remind you of?  This is nuts, reallyme.  If someone in your past stated you should talk, then scolded you for talking, I must be triggering that, but none of those feelings are intended by me.  I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this and get what I want out of the conversation.  Which is truly to ultimately get some rest!

Now that i've talked through all this (to myself it seems) I guess I'll give it a rest now.   8)

Hope - that rib idea is a great one.  We are having ribs tongiht and I'm gonna forget all about this ugly little episode.   Blah!

pb

p.s. I don't find your views offensive, I find you to be hateful.  I don't even respond to you!
« Last Edit: July 29, 2006, 09:39:24 PM by penelope »

reallyME

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #23 on: July 29, 2006, 09:45:19 PM »
PB:
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That sounds like something I would and I'm sure I did say (although I've not gone back and looked).  So, is there a problem with heeding that advice at this time?  Is this something you can't quite answer now, cause before I said don't reply?  Who do I remind you of?  This is nuts, reallyme.  If someone in your past stated you should talk, then scolded you for talking, I must be triggering that, but none of those feelings are intended by me.  I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this and get what I want out of the conversation.  Which is truly to ultimately get some rest!

"heeding" that advice?  um, I didn't realize you were my authority whom I needed to heed the advice of, but I sure have considered it, yes.  (Is this something I can't quite answer now, cause before you said don't reply?...)  Well, are you letting me know that you feel you have every right to constantly change your boundaries and expect me to know what it is you really want?  First you tell me to respond, almost challenging me, then you tell me not to...um, if I did that to you, what would you be thinking right about now?

Who do you remind me of?  Actually noone that I can think of at this time.  You are just bean to me.  A person who is trying to work out her own issues, but still has some steadfastness in boundaries that you struggle with yet don't appreciate me pointing out.

If you realize that someone in my past stated that I should talk, then scolded me for talking, and you aren't intending to trigger me, then WHY would you do the exact same thing I experienced in my past?  (and I won't say if I was triggered or not yet, till you  attempt to see my point of view in asking this)

You want to get some rest?  I had no idea that my posting on a message board to you, that you can easily ignore or click out of, was causing you unrest.  I must have more power than I realized.  (Jesus is the only power I have if I have any, and I don't aim to use His authority to hurt others...that is not my heart)

seeker

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #24 on: July 29, 2006, 10:08:20 PM »
I guess you don't know, reallyme.  I wasn't using this board when the afore mentioned "battle" was going on, but I can go back and read things, I guess.  All I know is what I have observed of your general behavior through your posting.  I posted once regarding you and was asked by Portia to ask myself why I had a problem with you (rather, your postings).  At that time, I didn't engage.  I knew,  why your postings really got to me, but I just couldn't go into my reasons at the time.  The few responses to others from you I read brought back horrendous memories of my oldest sister, who is 15 years older than I.  She tried for more years than I care to remember to make my life miserable.  She did this to my other sister, who is two years her junior; however, she was able to escape her when she married and moved to the midwest. Even after I was married and living away from my home state, she managed to affect my life via her obsession with controlling our mother and keeping her to herself.   She thought that mother should only love her, and she undermined my sister and myself continually.  When I was young, she psychologically abused me in particular, probably because I was so "available" (being so young and still at home).  I never told my parents of her tormenting me, because my daddy was dying with cancer from the time I was 12 years old until I was 18.  He was a wonderful man, my best friend; and my mother was a very good mother, but he was so ill for so long, I didn't want to add to their concerns by telling them what she was doing.  When I would cry about him, she said I was crying crocodile tears; when I would pray for him, she would denounce God. She lied on me, she projected what she thought and did onto me. (I figured this out much later in life)  I realize now that many things she did were actually psychotic, i.e., I was walking home from school one day (I was about 13) and from her front door she called me to come into her house.  She seemed very upset.  She said someone had come in the basement door and was coming up the stairs to the kitchen.  She had a gun.  She opened up the basement door and shot down the stairs.  I was so upset I began crying and screaming.  She began laughing.  The gun contained blanks.  She thought scaring me was funny.  There are too many examples to write, but she was clearly unstable. She knew that her husband tried to seduce me when I was 16 (I told), but she let him come back and then tried to put the blame on me.  (I found out years later that he ran around on my sister with many women,  and even tried to "seduce" his own teenage daughter---my niece told me herself). Then, my sister "got religion", along with her husband.  They became religious zealots and called for everyone, including myself, to "repent-repent-repent." (for what??? I never knew) Her husband reminded me of Elmer Gantry.  They were both so "religiously correct" to the public, but their hearts and minds were very dark indeed!  She continued her quest for mother's sole attention and love.  My mother developed Alzheimer's, and eventually succumbed to sister's will. She  always tried to hurt me and she succeeded, until at approximately  39, I instituted my own "no contact" rule.  That was 20 years ago.  It necessitated that I also have no contact with my mother, but I realized in her condition, she was not the mother that I had known and loved for so many years anyway.   I had to protect myself and my family from any more torment from the sister.  Mother passed away four years ago at age 90, and I know that at least when whe was of sound mind, she knew how much I loved her.  So, now my sister and her husband are 74 years old, and alone with each other, and their obsessions.    I apologize for the lengthy background,  but the memory of my sister, especially post  "being born again", is triggered by your almost flamboyant style of writing and with turning people's words around.   You emphasize so many words with large type,  you aggrandize yourself by stating what you are doing academically, you try to impress people with your "knowledge" and by saying you are a therapist, etc.   Perhaps I am being too cynical, but in my opinion, you appear to preach with what I perceive to be a forked tongue.  You act as though you know everyone's particular hang up and the cure for it.  You speak of God. and how you are one with Him; however, I am suspicious of your intentions.  You engage people in a negative manner when you think you are not being paid enough attention, and you make certain you tell everyone on here anything which you think makes you seem above others, or at least on par with them.   I realize that I have opened myself up to all kinds of negative responses, so I will say this for now.........I don't wish to get into a spraying contest.  I wish you well, as I do everyone on here.  I've come to the conclusion that I don't belong on this board, or at least I shouldn't post.  I do want you to realize one thing, if you don't get anything else out of my post............I am not anyone but myself.  I am not PM, I am not Jodi or anyone else you have accused me of being.  There is no conspiracy, just my own opinions.   

reallyME

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #25 on: July 29, 2006, 10:17:18 PM »
seeker:
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you make certain you tell everyone on here anything which you think makes you seem above others, or at least on par with them. 


I think I have a right to be "on par" with others.  What makes you think I do not have a right to this?  Are we not all created equal according to the Constitution?

Sorry that my comments are what you choose to use as a reason to stop posting here.  That makes no sense to me at all.  I'm not you, you're not me.  You have as much right to post here as I do, so why run?  Your opinions matter too.

Certain Hope

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #26 on: July 29, 2006, 10:18:27 PM »
Seeker, Just wanted to say I am so sorry about what your sister put you through. I hope you'll stay with us and contribute when you can.

Hope

penelope

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #27 on: July 29, 2006, 10:18:40 PM »
oh seeker - I am so sorry about your situation all those years with your sister, and it truly makes me sad that you don't have a place here too.  

I am sad that this board isn't big enough for everyone.  I am sad that things don't always work out and have a happy ending and that people leave, but mostly I am sad that our Ns left such a lasting legacy on us.

hugs ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((seeker)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

(you could always reconsider and come back with another name ya know?  I will welcome you here).

pb

penelope

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #28 on: July 29, 2006, 10:23:56 PM »
really -

I am letting you know that I feel completely exasperated by these conversations.  I'm going to let this rest now and go back to my regularly scheduled program.

Sorry I let your comments about me get me all ruffled.  Maybe it was something storm said, but I suppose I was feeling brave and thought I might approach you once again.

But it aint gonna happen this day sister - reallyme and bean are Not communicating.  It's OK by me, I got other things to do. 

I just put some bitchin speakers in my car today!!  (it is a classic car by the way, really cool).

So that's what I do in my free time reallyme.  Try to remember that I'm not whoever it is you've got it stuck in your head I may be.  And I'll try to remember you're not My sisters!   :roll:

pb

reallyME

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Re: Low Blows - Calling People N here
« Reply #29 on: July 29, 2006, 10:26:15 PM »
as they say in fencing, touchet (tooshay), bean