Pb, Ask and ye shall receive.....

(Hope you don't mind my rather peculiar sense of humor

)
I was just gonna say that I think it's a valid fear... or maybe awareness is a better word... not wanting to become like our "N's", I mean. Long before I had any idea what "N" meant, I knew that I did not want to become like my mother, or my brother, or... well anyhow, that's certainly not a new development.
Pb, I haven't seen anyone, including RM or Jac, label you as N either directly or indirectly. It's entirely possible that I've missed something, but I truly haven't seen any such references.
I think that we are all likely to recognize some N behaviors in everyone we meet. For one thing, we're all sensitized to it. For another, every personality has some degree of "healthy" narcissism as one of its components (hopefully not THE overriding component). I really don't think it's healthy, tho, to be seeing N behind every bush and shrub. That's an out of balance view, imo. Pathological narcissism is not something to be diagnosed lightly, for sure.
That said, I also think that this is a wonderful, healthy thing you've done here, letting your voice be heard in such a direct way on this thread, directed specifically toward those individuals from whom you've received some signals, whether those signals were perceived correctly or not. I see this as an invitation to further exploration and that's a good thing. I'm wondering though.... what if they don't respond? Will you be ok with that? They do have the choice, right? If someone feels it would be a violation of his own boundaries to respond to a direct question, does he have the option to stand mute?
And finally, the last thought I had when I read this was.... I just finished stating someplace else on the board that I would be making it a practice of staying on my own side of the double-line, not inserting myself into others' (potential) conflicts. I'm rethinking that now in light of all this... if I read someone label another member on this board of being N, I'd really have to take a closer look at whether or not I should respond if to say nothing else than... that is not your call to make.
Pb, thank you for all of the opportunities to take a closer look at things that oiften just slide by unobserved. Awareness is a big part of the battle for me, I think.
With love,
Hope
P.S. on edit ~ lol Hops

I need to type faster!