Laura -
I am going to talk to you now very calmly and slowly, k? I'm not upset. Just concerned.
You've PM'd Sugarre and given her your telephone number? Do you know why that could be interpreted by some of us here as scary and inappropriate? Cause we didn't come to this board to receive phone numbers, or offers to come stay with people for a week...for religious or spiritual reasons. We came here for support and strength, in our time of need, to get help with N abuse. That's all. So when you offer your phone number and try to persuade people here to call you - and eventually visit you is implied, I think - that is scary to some. Can you understand this?
Some may not be strong enough to say this to you (I wasn't until today) but when you did this to me it FREAKED ME OUT (I wrote that in caps, cause I know you know what that means - it means, it's important).
What kind of apology would you like from me? Cause some little nagging voice in the back of my head says you won't be happy until I come out to NewYork, is that where you said you live? Or is it Illinois now? Anyway, the nagging voice says you won't be happy until I come out there and visit you and allow you to show me Your Way, Your spiritual way. Cause I think what you're looking for is to mentor someone - and I think you're aggressively recruiting here, on and off. I'm not the only one with this theory, others have mentioned this too...
Again, this spooks me, big time. There is a boundary violation going on at the mere mention of anything remotely close to meeting you - I never intend to do that, it would be Unsafe. Do you understand that reallyme? I think when you imply that it is of a Very Serious Nature. My belief, k?
I'm not saying "see? see? there's this big bully after me..." I'm saying - you're continuing to harm me over and over with mean words. I know I said before I wouldn't leave this board. But if you continue to respond to me in this manner, and if I learn you're harassing others, I may have to. I think it's that serious now.
The following is not true:
you can't seem to handle my comments when they differ from your views on things. You also can't seem to handle people who are very sure of where they stand.
Lot's of people's comments differ from mine. For example, hope and I do not feel the same way about feminism - we can still talk civilly (even lightly) here. I also disagree with others about religion and other things occasionally (the whole gay discussion), but I'm not having any serious problems with others here reallyme. Just you. As far as people who are sure of where they stand: reallyme, I am a professional (engineer). I work in Aerospace for a living. Do you know what that means? It means I fly around the country and visit other professionals as part of my job, I negotiate and solve problems of a technical nature; I fly about once a month...so I work with people who are very sure of where they stand, everyday. Sometimes they convince me of where they stand even.

That's how I learn. I do not have any problem accepting people who are sure of themselves. If I did, I would not be able to work in this field and give talks and other things I do for a living, everyday. See, so I don't have a problem with people who are sure of themselves, confidence abounds, where I work, and in my interpersonal relationships. Heck, I have a therapist who is quite sure of herself too. I myself went to college reallyme, so that's not it - that I can't handle views different than mine. I am very openminded, I've had many jobs in all walks of life reallyme, I've traveled all over this country as part of my job and have worked with various kinds of people. I'm used to being around self-confident people, I work with mostly PhD's these days. How more sure of yourself do you think people get?

So I don't think it is that you are sure of yourself - that that's why I disagree with you - I think it is that
I don't trust you. I don't trust you and it is for a very good reason, I bet. Cause I have pretty sharp instincts. When I was robbed at gunpoint, I knew it was going to happen
before it happened. Ditto for the time I was working at a hotel in college and some dood came up to me and quick-changed me (walked away with $200 and I was left holding a sealed thank you card- when we opened it up it was full of paper). You give me this same uneasy feeling reallyme. Do you know you are doing that to me? Do you know why?
So reallyme, it's not that I can't handle you being sure of yourself - I can handle that - I can't handle the words you keep throwing at me, and I don't like the way I've seen you treating others here - and to quote jac "I'm afraid someone might leave." In fact, I know of at least 2 people who've said they
will leave the board because of you reallyme. So you are scaring some people, me included.
Do you want to keep scaring them? Continue doing what you're doing. Do you want to talk about this and sort it out and come up with alteratives? I think Sela may be able to help us there. I would really like to know the purpose of handing out your phone number so freely, and why or why this might not be appropriate on this message board. It sounds spooky and scary, definitely, to me.
I"m not going to be voiceless around you or anyone else, however, I do my best to try and address issues and not attack people.
OK, good.
You will see me discussing people's behaviors on this board, just as they have done with mine, since that is what we are limited to on a text-only format.
I don't think I've discussed your behaviors, but if I have I'm sorry. If others keep doing so, can you bring it up with them? Other than saying what you've done to ME, I did not say much after our initial conflict. K? You can go back and look if you're not sure about this, but I'm pretty sure. That's why I feel you're "picking on me." cause I don't know what I've done to deserve this wrath from you. Hops can say something to you, and you take it OK. I changed my name to Penelope and had no problems with you. So I think you became fixated on Bean, for some reason. If you'd like to explore why, I encourage you to do so. But you need to do it in a way that's not scary for others here, OK?
I don't know you, except by your text. I do know that you are a lot more reasonable-sounding under the PB name rather than just Bean, however. I've noticed it too. I have NOTHING against you as a person...only against your tactics of bait and switch that have been used toward me.
I will take this criticism of yours and think about it because it might be valid. I don't think it is, but I'll consider what you might mean by this. Can you elaborate? I think you mean I'm trying to get people here "on my side?" If that's what you mean, it's the farthest thing from my mind to get people here to contact me outside of this board. That would be an invasion of their privacy, I think. People come to this board with the preconception that they won't be harassed in that way (I do anyway). So I would never imply that to anyone here, that I wanted to meet them in person, or that they should call me.
I have 3D people I interact with, I don't think it's safe to meet people from this board in person. Other message boards, that have different themes, is a whole nother story. But this one? It is not appropriate to invite people for spiritual counseling or PM people and tell them to call you, I don't think. So what are my tactics of 'bait and switch'
exactly, reallyme, cause I'm not following you. You need to just spell it out for me so I understand, cause I'm not understanding what I'm doing that falls under this category. Can you say what it is you think I'm doing?
Thanks,
pb