Pb
You made a mistake (you say) but are you sorry in any way? Just wondering. You don’t sound sorry, you sound as though you might want to add fuel to the fire so to speak. Hey I can do that too. I wonder what it is in certain people that sets me off. I guess I must be seeing remnants of my parents or even parts of my dark side in them. Or the style of exchange might be too 'familiar' for me to resist (I'm working on it, or trying to....).
Sela, I like your question. Nothing wrong with it as far as I can see. My opinion.
I don’t know. Sometimes these relationships (and I think Laura and Pb, you are in a relationship, because both parties engage, it’s not like one ignores the other or doesn’t care, both of you seem to care enough in some way to continue) have to play out. Laura and Pb, maybe you both see this? And maybe I’ll butt out now, maybe not, see what happens. It's all work in progress eh?
Take care all, bye for now
hi Portia, how are ya? I'm sorry I did not sound sorry to you - cause I truly did feel sorry that we weren't communicating, reallyme and I. Not sure how I can convey that better, do you have an particular suggestions about how I could write that more genuinely, or so it comes across more genuinely, cause I gave it my all, and if it didn't have its intended affect (reallyme can say whether she thinks it did or not) then maybe you two have some specific suggestions on how I could sound more sincere. Cause I certainly am feeling quite sincere in my request to
1) not have mean things said about me
2) apologize for any harm I might have caused reallyme which would cause her to want to continue to say mean, hateful things to and about me
So yes, I'm confronting her directly about this and I'm real sorry this happend. Everytime she posts to or about me, I'm sorry for whatever it is I may have done (Reminded her of Jodi?) that she can't seem to get out of her head. I wonder if there's anything I can say that will help at this point.
I tried appealing to her humanistic side, and I did not lie when I said others are struggling too. They have not vocalized this (other than seeker) in any of the threads, that I know of, but they are hurting too I believe. From the PM's.
My theory is this: people come to this board at all different levels and places of healing for support, not just info. Reallyme's flippant and careless attitude, and the way she often responds, reminds them of their abusers. It's so harmful to some people, I think they have real anxiety about it. That's the sense I get from reading some of the PM's anyway. I have felt this at times, but sometimes reallyme is just an annoyance; other times, when I'm really trying to delve deeper into something painful, her comments have to potential to do great harm to me as I am very honest and forthcoming here, and trusting. I guess I shouldn't trust everyone here though, it's my nature to do so cause I wan't to heal. But I have to be guarded with her, which is sad in a place that should be about healing for all.
Maybe if enough of us are feeling bad about this, we can approach Dr G and ask him what to do about it. I don't expect many of you to understand and I have my ideas about why that is too. Some of you are much more healthy than a lot of people that come here, and thus perhaps someone like reallyme wouldn't intimidate you, or phase you at all. But some of us have a real aversion to this. Some of us are truly more sensitive than others and it has to do to our specific pasts. Can you understand this Portia? Can you comprehend that although reallyme might not be scary to you, that she could be scary to others? Remember marta? Was she scary to you? She was not scary to me, but I think some people reacted negatively to her "advice" too.
It is a kind thing to tell someone when they're hurting you as it gives them an opportunity to self reflect. If I'd hurt anyone here, I certainly hope they'd tell me - and not just give the careless advice I've seen thus far on this thread "well it looks to me like - although I don't really know what I'm saying..." well, then I guess my question is, if you can't empathize, and feel what I'm feeling, why are you responding? You don't know, if you're assuming I'm not sorry and don't have the best intentions for myself and my own health, why have you responded here? Isn't that a bit careless?
Just some things to think about. I'm going to go off and work on cars with my b/f for the rest of the day, and not sure if I'll be back or not, but you've certainly given me a lot to think about here. I don't know if it's all good or bad or what. Maybe it's just stuff to think about. But I do know what my intentions are, and it's not to Start a conflict. It's to resolve one that has been ongoing for me and others.
It's to say - Ow. That hurt, what you just said, can you please not say that again? That is setting a boundary I think. I don't know why it's so hard to understand that that's what I really want to do, I don't have ulterior motives. I said the words hurt me, they're wounding me, can you please stop saying them to me?
And I am sorry. Very sorry, in more ways then I think anyone here will ever understand, but that's OK, cause I know myself - better each day, in fact.
bean