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How to heal NPD

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Matthias43:
Hey bunny,

You still haven't backed up your words. And I'm keeping it nice this time because we wouldn't want poor Dr. Grossman to have a real argument on his site. I'd just really like to hear it, rabbit, that's all. And could you also tell us what your issue with personality disorders is? Do you have a disorder, or do you know someone who does?

And also, bunny, I have a couple of things you might want to read and then get back to me about. First, "Humanizing the Narcissistic Style" by Stephen Johnson. And then, check out www.suite101.com and read about A.J. Mahari's borderline personality disorder site. THEN talk to me. It's Mlashtok@yahoo.com if you want to have a real argument.

And Portia, I think you need a little more experience and a little less booksmarts. I'd really like to see how Hotchkiss or whoever it was can back up that assertion about shame, since shame is a conceptual emotion in the first place. Maybe you should read some Shakespeare, and live up to your namesake from the Merchant of Venice ;-)

Alright ppls I'm out. Take care,

Matt

p.s. And don't you dare change this, Grossman. OR I'LL... OR I'LL.... no, I'm just playing. Later

Portia:
Very tempting! But not worth it. Goodbye. :roll:

Anonymous:
Matthias,

I don't take reading assignments from people. Goodbye if you've left in a huff.

bunny

Anonymous:

--- Quote ---You still haven't
--- End quote ---


--- Quote ---poor Dr. Grossman
--- End quote ---


--- Quote ---a real argument
--- End quote ---


--- Quote ---I'd just really like to hear it, rabbit
--- End quote ---


--- Quote ---I think you need
--- End quote ---


Thank you, Matthias, for the instructional post and concern for everyone's spiritual growth.  This is a great refresher course in the kind of mature discourse we can expect from an N when challenged even only a little bit.  The words are fine, but the tone and intention clearly are not.

For anyone who ventures into our community in denial of the effects of verbal abuse, we can refer them to this illuminating thread.  Peace.

rosencrantz:
I'm responding to posts a while back and I started writing this without having seen the last few posts.

Portia - I guess you saw the documentary on feral children.

If you've got the stomach to read Dave Pelzer's books, you will discover someone who has overcome the worst of abuse.  A story of hope - ultimately.


--- Quote ---...a child brutally beaten and starved by his emotionally unstable, alcoholic mother: a mother who played tortuous, unpredictable games. Dave had to learn how to play his mother's games in order to survive...

When he was allowed the luxury of food it was scraps from the dogs' bowl. The outside world knew nothing of the nightmare played out behind closed doors. But throughout Dave kept alive dreams of finding a family to love him, care for him, call him their son.

It took many years of struggle, deprivation and despair to find his dream and then to make something of himself in the world.
--- End quote ---


What matters is the motivation - and I guess that comes from personality, too.

So what makes one person unhealthily narcissistic but another, with the same experience, a success???

Being so quick to hit out and try to be hurtful towards others, Matthias, does not help your cause.  It demonstrates that you are quick to feel slighted, that you react rather than think and then act, that you need to put others down in order to regain stature.  It does not demonstrate willingness to learn, a desire to communicate and to grow.  It simply reinforces perceptions about narcissism.  

'Healing' does seem a strange word to use for recovery from a personality disorder - I can understand better the idea of healing the original wounds that led to the personality disorder.  To recover would need great courage and the ability to stand having one's world turned upside down, inside out and back to front when the ego is really just too fragile.

Yes, I see the humanity in the Ns of this world.  But do they see the humanity in me?!

One can see the humanity but not wish to risk being damaged by the  inhumanity.
R

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