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How to heal NPD

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Matthias43:
Thank you Portia, I appreciate what you said. It is just hard for me, with my narcissistic issues and all, to come online and be bombarded with all these different viewpoints and sources of information - first of all I'm told that everything's hopeless, then I find a site that's trying to heal it, then people are condemning "Ns", then people are reassuring me that I'm young and it's not all over... and during none of this do I have any idea where I really fit into the picture. I'm still 18, and reading some of this stuff makes me believe I have something that's equivalent to a terminal cancer diagnosis. It's scary!

It does bother me though that anyone would label another human being as being completely hopeless or "doomed." That's pretty low in my opinion, and speaks more of the problems of whoever wrote it than of any objective truth. As for the psychoanalytic psychotherapy and that post - yes it overdid it a bit, but I think there was something there. If you ever wanna read something more about the subject, take a look at James Masterson's "The Emerging Self." He has successfully treated people with narcissistic disorders.

Well I g2g now.

Take care,

Matt

rosencrantz:
Hi Matt - (Matthias? A reader of Redwall, perchance??)

If you're a teenager, you're being introspective.  That's what you do when you're in your teens.  You're trying our various 'personas', you're testing out the water, you're being you (and it's very confusing).

This too will pass!

I have no doubts that narcissism has nothing to do with where you are in life just now.  

One thing you could do which would help you get a better response from the people on this forum is to 'own' the thoughts and feelings which you are trying to express.  You are talking about narcissism or NPD 'in general' and you are receiving confusing and conflicting answers because people are giving your their response to different kinds of narcissism as THEY have experienced it, they are giving you answers from the stage at which they are in the long road to recovery - and none of it's particularly relevant to you.

If you own what you fear and what you want to find out (eg I am 18 and I wonder if I have NPD and if I have, can I get better) then people can respond more accurately.

I wrote this elsewhere and there may be something in it that may help...


--- Quote ---I suggest we forget about labels and just try to live an honest life.  Trust more, but learn to be tougher, more resilient, too.  Keep our head up, be proud!  Know our boundaries so they don't get invaded - psychologically, mentally or emotionally.  And be brave enough to face the consequences of being 'accurate', having spent time and energy uncovering and speaking the truth.
--- End quote ---


With any luck, in a couple of years' time. you'll be so busy having a life that you'll have forgotten all about the whole concept of narcissism.
R

Anonymous:

--- Quote from: Anonymous ---I'm now friends with my husbands psychologist.
--- End quote ---


This is a serious boundary problem and is unethical.

bunny

Anonymous:
Matthias,

First, I'm not talking about you. I don't think you have NPD. Second, I don't think you've been reading other people's experiences on this board. If you had, you'd realize how incredibly pervasive and destructive a personality disorder (an actual one) is. These are not healable....sorry. It does not mean the person is "doomed." It means they and their families, have to figure out how to deal with it, as they would deal with any problem.

bunny

Anonymous:
Bunny, what you say is fair enough as a general rule about someone being or becoming friends with their family members psych. But it isn't an absolute. Explanations aren't necessary here, you generally offer very sound advice, but I wish to respond to you Bunny.

I'll not respond to that person who obviously has a serious rage problem. Who will no doubt says, more "lies lies lies", to support this rage, and doesn't even know there is a huge difference between anger and rage. I eventually concluded that rager was  'PUI', Posting Under The Influence.

Bunny, is it possible that even psych's have wives and family, and their wives have family and have friends? What if a member of a particular psych's family has become close friends with someone who has a problem with a spouse with NPD? What if this psyche is willing to have a go? Would it be unethical for that psych to offer assistance? Especially if that psych has some experience in the area. I think it'd be unethical for him to discuss personal details about the  therapy with the me, and inappropriate for me to ask. But not unethical to become friends in the context of the social affiliation and connection. And I don't believe any psych worth their salt would violate their own particular set of ethics by disclosing private matters anway. If this psyche does exist, and is not just a figment of my imagination, and if his wife has become a close friend of mine, and that's not just a figment of my imagination either, then why would it be not okay to become friends with him too. Especially if we do have other areas of interest that via a charity organisation that bought our lives together in the first place. Sometimes my supposed 'imaginary psyche' does inquire and ask me if I'm noticing any positive adjustments or changes with my husband. And that's okay, surely. Part of me feels it's a waste of time and irrelevant responding to your judgement Bunny because our lives and circumstances are all so unique. I consider myself extremely fortunate that fate connected us with these people and bought our familes together. I feel that rote blanket statements often sound okay on the surface but often lack careful thought and consideration. Maybe you too will shout "lies lies lies", although goodness knows why. It just soooo doesn't bother me because it doesn't alter the truth. But I'm interested to know if in the light of this, you still think that it's unethical, cause I sure don't and neither do they. I just consider us fortunate that fate smiled on my family by bringing such caring and giving people into our lives. They're out there, contrary to what we learned from our parents.

Matthias, good luck once again and I admire your grit.

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