Moon,
One important lesson I have learned and hopefully embraced by all that I have experienced, especially in the last 3 years--when I see someone who is hurting, or has suffered a major blow to their lives, I no longer wonder if I should say something, and if I did, what would I say that would be the right thing, or should I drop a note or call a friend who is far away and having a hard time, and what would I say that would matter--all that rhetoric we go through. Partially I didn't want to acknowledge their pain, because some day it could have be my own. Some day I could (God forbid) lose a child, lose a parent (inevitable), get divorced, lose my job, have a loved one contract a potentially fatal disease--whatever myriad of possible tragedies could befall me, and if it happened to someone I know and maybe even is close to me, it could certainly happen to me. But also it was thinking (stupidly) that I didn't want to look clumsy and awkward and potentially say something to make things worse. All selfish reasons to not be a good friend in a time of need. But I learned that what I say, the format, the words are not what matters. It matters that I show I care and I am willing to drop whatever menial things (by comparison) are going on in my life at the time, to show and tell that person in pain that they matter more.
Every time someone reached out and gave me a hug and just said, "I'm sorry for what you're going through," or called and asked if I needed to talk, or could we go have coffee, it meant so much to me. When I was feeling so unloved by my exh and his immediate family, my family of friends stepped in to show that I was still loved and my pain was difficult for them to bare too. On the flip side, they are so thrilled for my happiness now and I have become a poster child to many for divorce recovery.
Moon, I'm glad you treated yourself to the bubble bath. Yes, sometimes doctors make silly rules.
Brigid
