Update

[ANewSheriff]

It has been a very long couple of weeks.  I have checked in, but felt too drained to respond.  I hope to get through some of the posts in the next couple of days that I have fallen behind on. 

First of all, a big story ran in our local paper (people also heard about it in the radio and saw it on some news channels) about the charges filed on the woman who faked the cancer.  My name was repeated numerous times, which as you can imagine was disconcerting and shook me up some.  Still, I absolutely believe this had to be turned in and I am hopeful that this woman and her family can get some help soon.  I have been targeted by some of this family and that is upsetting, but I have heard that some of the family members are coming to terms with the idea that this woman has been untruthful about her illness.  That is somewhat encouraging. 
 
At the same time, I got the call that my grandfather did indeed pass away.  I did decide to attend the funeral.  The group's feedback helped me tremendously in making that decision.  I drove with my brother and sister and we were all finally on the same exact page with respects to my mother.  I finally felt like I was not the trouble maker and scapegoat.  A miracle!

My mother's behavior was, once again, an embarrassing, hysterical performance.  Unbelievable!  I am just grateful that she only had two parents.  How disrespectful!  What a sham!   

My brother and sister and I laughed and laughed and laughed throughout our short time there.  I cannot remember the last time I had such a great ab workout.  There was a brief, but neat connection between the three of us.  We actually had a lot of fun (much of it at my mother's expense, I admit).  I do not know what the future holds for my family of origin, but I am grateful for this new turn in awarenesses and acknowledgements. 

I still feel like much is unfolding with both of these situations.  Being very human and fairly impatient, I wish I could see down the road a few months or years.  But, I believe God has had his hand in all this so I have to keep my faith in his ability and promises. 

Thanks to you all for being here and for your insightful feedback and encouragement during a really tough time. 

ANS

[WRITE]

(((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))

We have a saying in England: today's front page is tomorrow's fish and chip paper........

it'll blow over and what else could you do? If she were lying for attention and sympathy that's one thing, to take many people's well-meant earnings is unforgiveable. That is her responsibility, for not stopping things right off, no matter what her excuses.

In a country without universal welfare people are always stepping into the breach to help pay for medical costs: it's an offence against the trust and spirit of a whole community.

When I worked for the probation service once a convicted man's sister came to collect his things. She was very angry ' they are calling him a sex offender!' she said of her brother who had just been convicted of- child molesting. Families have conflicting emotions, they get angry at first.

I finally felt like I was not the trouble maker and scapegoat.  A miracle!

My brother and sister and I laughed and laughed and laughed throughout our short time there.

that is so wonderful.

I believe God has had his hand in all this so I have to keep my faith in his ability and promises. 

Amen.

[Certain Hope]

(((((((((ANS)))))))))  Trusting the One who sees the end from the beginning makes all the difference.

God is blessing and keeping you in His care, of that I am certain.

With love,
Hope

[pennyplant]

Hi ANS,

Write is right.  There really was no other thing you could do in regard to the cancer-faker.  Some of her family may never see the light but many will.  And other parts of life will come along to fill in and take the focus off of you.  It will be alright.  And you did the right thing.  It was very hard to do, and many would not have the courage, but you did the right thing.

I am so happy that you and your siblings were able to support each other throughout the funeral visit.  Was that a surprising turn of events for you?  To me it seems like the best possible outcome.  And in a way, your mother behaving true to form was some kind of vindication.  The Ns can fool us sometimes by acting the part unexpectedly.  Then you wonder, did I blow it all up out of proportion?  Well, you can know for sure that you have been seeing exactly what is there with her.  You can trust your own eyes.  Time will tell as far as further connection with your FOO.  But for now, this is fantastic.

Thanks for telling us what has been happening.  You're doing a great job, ANS!

((((((ANS)))))))

PP

[ANewSheriff]

WRITE,

I have had to keep reminding myself that just because this is the center of my world at the current time does not make it everyone else's.  Most people are probably like, "Oh, that lady is finally getting charged?  Good.  I think I will make chicken for dinner."   

CH and PP,

Thank you for the words of encouragement.  "This too shall pass" and "more will be revealed" are the two phrases I am currently reciting. 

ANS

[Stormchild]

One of my favorite science fiction authors has a saying that doesn't entirely fit with what I believe, on face - but on deeper examination, isn't really so far off:

"There is no justice; there's just us."

I do, of course, think there is justice. But often, it's left to us to be the instruments thereof. We are to be the means of the miracle. Think of the Danish boatlift, of the Underground Railroad, of the French village of Le Chambon, and you see what I mean. We are the hands, the head, the body, we are called to embody what we believe.

Good on you, ANS, for being a part of 'just us'.

Edit in: This particular author is quite ornery; in another one of his books he models a newspaper on the Manchester Guardian, typos and all, and its motto is - of course! -
"The Truth Shall Make You Fret".

I have that one printed out as a poster, on the door of my office, at work.

[gratitude28]

ANS,
We must be SOUL SISTERS> We both had the same great revelation at the same time!!!! My sister and I are getting along so well. And I am separate from my mother's drama at last too!
I am so happy for you... and for us!!!!! You know, ever since this visit and the clarity I have had, my compulsions and need to damage myself have dropped away. I am really doing better than I can  remember... maybe ever, because I feel spiritually stronger as well.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for making my day.
Love, Beth

[penelope]

hi ANS,

This too shall pass is a good one.  I use that often too.   

... I drove with my brother and sister and we were all finally on the same exact page with respects to my mother.  I finally felt like I was not the trouble maker and scapegoat.  A miracle!

It is so validating isn't it?  No matter what happens next, you can reserve a place in your heart for this small miracle and refer to it as often as you like.

hugs,
pb

[WRITE]

I was thinking about ANS, hope the news furore has passed and you're doing ok.

[gratitude28]

I miss you too, ANS. How are you doing???

[Stormchild]

Shout out to ANS - we're thinking of you. If this feels like pressure, sorry; it's appreciation - you're missed - how cool is that? .

[ANewSheriff]

WRITE, Beth, and Storm,

I could just cry seeing your kind and caring posts.  Thank you, thank you for taking the time to reach out.  Good grief, this has been a heck of a journey.  I am trying very, very hard to stay focused and do what is in front of me.  The kids are back in school, I began my studies again, and am getting some work lined up, too.  I have checked in a couple of short times and read quickly, but have not felt like I had much to offer as of late.  I have been experiencing some depression and some fear since the stories all broke.     

I guess I have just lost my bearings in the past year and a half.  I feel that I am on the right path, but all this change and awareness is a long and painful process.  It is nice to have some friends to journey with.  I admit that I have felt very alone lately.  Thanks for being there...

ANS   

[Stormchild]

Glad you're here with us, too.

((((((((((ANS))))))))))

[Certain Hope]

(((((((ANS)))))))) there is the calm before the storm and then the exhaustion afterward... whoooshhhh... it's tough being brave once the surge of determination and adrenaline have washed through. I am thinking maybe it's ok to just stay the same for a day or two and eat ice cream and smile 

Much love,
Hope

[teartracks]

ANS,

Good to hear from you.  Missed you.  You've been pulled through a knothole or two haven't you? 
tt