Lost My Job and Doubting Myself

[Bones]

Bones,
I'm sorry it was the wrong fit but I think you've saved yourself a world of stress and misery.

Hang in there, you'll find the right spot.

Hops

P.S.  Plus I would like to find a job in my field that pays a LIVING wage!

Bones

[Bones]

Just wanted to check in for the day.  I had a bit of an adventure when I went to the condo mailboxes in my building.  Just as I started to stick the key into the lock, I suddenly realized that there was a two-foot long, LIVE garden snake at my feet!  How it got into the building, I'm not sure!  After the initial shock, I got my garden gloves on and herded him back outside to the garden where he belongs.

Bones

[Hopalong]

Awwwwww.
In the name of Steve Irwin...thank you!

Hops

[Bones]

Awwwwww.
In the name of Steve Irwin...thank you!

Hops

You're welcome, Hops!  When the other women in my building heard about the snake, they freaked out!

Bones

[October]

Thanks, jac.

I'm starting to recognize the components of grieving for what I never got from my own family of origin and how these latest circumstances are so similar to that.  Plus, I've always struggled with PTSD as long as I can remember since growing up in my family was like being trapped in a war zone.  I'm still having trouble with nightmares which is why I'm online in the middle of the night.

Bones

I'm sorry I have not commented before, but long posts are a bit daunting to read all at once.  Anyway, I got this far, and decided to say something.

If you think that you have symptoms of ptsd, and you also have a history of child abuse (what you aptly describe as a war zone childhood) then you are more likely to have complex ptsd.  If you want information about this it is found in a book by Dr Judith Herman called Trauma and Recovery.  I have cptsd myself, and it is not an easy condition to live with.   

http://www.jimhopper.com/trauma_and_recovery/

In terms of your job loss, it is very important to keep your eyes on the goal of achieving a new job, without letting the anxiety get out of control.  The reason I say this is that my job contract ended in April 2000, and I managed for about three or four months to do the application forms, interviews etc, and then I went to pieces.  I have not worked since.  (Not true, I work every day.  I have not received any money for working since.   )   But I had no support at the time, and no idea what was wrong with me.

I am not saying this will happen to you, because we all have our own paths to follow, but hang onto all those positive thoughts, and believe in yourself.

[October]

After decompressing from a two-hour drive in pouring rain today, I decided not to take the job.  It turned out that they wanted me to work in a prison, with a two-hour round trip drive, for only $27,000 a year.  (I earned more than that as a secretary, with or without a Bachelor's degree and I now have a Master's.)  Given the volatile cost of gas, the possible danger at a prison, and my current financial obligations, that amount, before taxes, would barely be enough to keep my car running.  I have student loans coming due and I need to earn more than that to pay all of my debts (dental bills, too).  Oh well.......

Bones

This is a really good thing to read.  You still have choices, and you still have the right to look after yourself.  Well done for realising that what you want is the right job for you, not just any old job.   

[Bones]

After decompressing from a two-hour drive in pouring rain today, I decided not to take the job.  It turned out that they wanted me to work in a prison, with a two-hour round trip drive, for only $27,000 a year.  (I earned more than that as a secretary, with or without a Bachelor's degree and I now have a Master's.)  Given the volatile cost of gas, the possible danger at a prison, and my current financial obligations, that amount, before taxes, would barely be enough to keep my car running.  I have student loans coming due and I need to earn more than that to pay all of my debts (dental bills, too).  Oh well.......

Bones

This is a really good thing to read.  You still have choices, and you still have the right to look after yourself.  Well done for realising that what you want is the right job for you, not just any old job.   

Thanks, October.

Bones

[Certain Hope]

Just wanted to check in for the day.  I had a bit of an adventure when I went to the condo mailboxes in my building.  Just as I started to stick the key into the lock, I suddenly realized that there was a two-foot long, LIVE garden snake at my feet!  How it got into the building, I'm not sure!  After the initial shock, I got my garden gloves on and herded him back outside to the garden where he belongs.

Bones

  Hey Bones, We have done a bit of snake relocation around here, too! Black whip snakes tend to enjoy our yard, particularly when we have newly hatched chicks. They're non-venomous, so no threat to humanity, but pretty deadly when they coil around a baby chicken. So... into a pillowcase they go, for transport to a new location    Copperheads, on the other hand, receive instant judgment 

Sounds like you're doing pretty well and still smiling    and that is wonderful! I think of ya often and then I smile, too! Hope you have a great weekend...
Love,
Hope

[Bones]

Just wanted to check in for the day.  I had a bit of an adventure when I went to the condo mailboxes in my building.  Just as I started to stick the key into the lock, I suddenly realized that there was a two-foot long, LIVE garden snake at my feet!  How it got into the building, I'm not sure!  After the initial shock, I got my garden gloves on and herded him back outside to the garden where he belongs.

Bones

  Hey Bones, We have done a bit of snake relocation around here, too! Black whip snakes tend to enjoy our yard, particularly when we have newly hatched chicks. They're non-venomous, so no threat to humanity, but pretty deadly when they coil around a baby chicken. So... into a pillowcase they go, for transport to a new location    Copperheads, on the other hand, receive instant judgment 

Sounds like you're doing pretty well and still smiling    and that is wonderful! I think of ya often and then I smile, too! Hope you have a great weekend...
Love,
Hope

Thanks, Hope.

I'm trying to prepare myself for my next job interview in Prince Frederick, Maryland which is about another hour away in the opposite direction from the first interview.

Bones

[Stormchild]

Good luck, Bones. Hang in there...

[Bones]

Good luck, Bones. Hang in there...

Thanks, Stormy.

Bones

[Bones]

Part of me is apprehensive about this upcoming interview because it will be in front of a panel of people instead of being interviewed by one or two people.

Bones

[Certain Hope]

Part of me is apprehensive about this upcoming interview because it will be in front of a panel of people instead of being interviewed by one or two people.

Bones

When is the interview, Bones?

Just envision the entire panel in purple polka dotted robes, fuzzy bunny slippers, and those goofy sleep hats with the poofball at the end of the stocking tube... you'll do fine 

(((((((((((Bones)))))))))))

Love,
Hope

[gratitude28]

Wow Bones,
Do we love you or what??? Your original post has stretched to 20 pages They'll love you at the interview too. And don't forget, you are also checking them out It's a two-way deal.They will be lucky if they get you!
Love and good wishes,
Betb

[Bones]

Part of me is apprehensive about this upcoming interview because it will be in front of a panel of people instead of being interviewed by one or two people.

Bones

When is the interview, Bones?

Just envision the entire panel in purple polka dotted robes, fuzzy bunny slippers, and those goofy sleep hats with the poofball at the end of the stocking tube... you'll do fine 

(((((((((((Bones)))))))))))

Love,
Hope

Thanks, Hope.

The interview is on Wednesday morning and about an hour's drive away.

Bones