Lost My Job and Doubting Myself

[Bones]

I'm also dealing with some emotional triggers too.  I was watching the Dr. Keith Ablow show today where a daughter was tearfully recounting being sexually molested by her stepfather between the ages of 7 to 9 and I felt rage as the Nmother coldly told her daughter, in front of Dr. Ablow and the audience to "get over it", then proceeded to talk about herself...totally ignoring her daughter's pain!  Dr. Ablow finally invited the daughter to cut ties with her mother for at least three to six months so she could focus on her own healing.  I was watching Dr. Ablow's expression and he looked like he was appalled at the Nmother's reactions.  Nmom reminded me of my own Nmom under similar circumstances.  That is the source of my own rage.

Bones

[Hopalong]

I'm appalled too, ((((((Bones)))))))).

Hops

[Bones]

I'm appalled too, ((((((Bones)))))))).

Hops

Thanks, Hops!!

Bones

[Bones]

Keep me in your prayers!  I got a call from the University of Maryland Medical Center - Division of Integrated Medicine about a possible job interview after the holidays.  I've already been asked to submit a writing sample of my work from graduate school and to obtain two references.

Bones

[Hopalong]

Bones, that's wonderful.

Just asking...are you comfortable giving so many specifics about where you are, etc., online?

I hope you get the job!!!!

Hops

[Gaining Strength]

Way to GO!!!!!  Things are starting to turn. - GS

[Bones]

Bones, that's wonderful.

Just asking...are you comfortable giving so many specifics about where you are, etc., online?

I hope you get the job!!!!

Hops

Thanks, Hops!

I'm hoping I'm making Maryland general enough.

Bones

[Bones]

Way to GO!!!!!  Things are starting to turn. - GS

Thanks, GS!

Bones

[Bones]

It looks like I'll have to wait until after the Holidays before I can contact anyone for references.  I sent an e-mail to one possible reference but he hasn't responded yet.  He may be out of town visiting family for Christmas and New Year's.

Bones

[Bones]

Got a response back from one of my possible references.  Now I have to await a response from the interviewer to find out exactly what they are looking for in a reference letter.  Turns out the individual I contacted had never written a reference letter from scratch before.  He was used to filling out reference forms.  New challenge for both of us.

Bones

[Bones]

I still struggle with doubting myself and those around me.  I'm even certain if bf is an N or has N tendencies.  One of the things he has a habit of doing is completely ignoring things that he does not consider important to himself until I finally start yelling at him.  Then he gets this "deer in the headlights" look on his face.

Bones

[Gaining Strength]

Bones -

One of the things he has a habit of doing is completely ignoring things that he does not consider important to himself until I finally start yelling at him.

Send more info - "ignoring things that he does not consider important to himself" - sounds like he has a bad case of maleness.

"until I finally start yelling at him." - not the best solution as it leads to the dread disease of screaming meemies.

Seriously, something he's not doing is clearly driving you nutso.  But is his behavior irritating or over the top in self-centeredness.  The screaming solution is one way to get action but I suspect if you thought about it you could get similar results without dragging yourself into the mire.  Take it from one who has recently recovered from being angry and raging for years.  Life really is better without screaming.  In fact if you practise on past experiences and think of clever ways to prod it can become an entertaining challenge but there is also a middle road method to getting the actions you need.

Give a "for instance" - made up or real and lets work it out for practise. - your friend - Gaining strength

[Bones]

Bones -

One of the things he has a habit of doing is completely ignoring things that he does not consider important to himself until I finally start yelling at him.

Send more info - "ignoring things that he does not consider important to himself" - sounds like he has a bad case of maleness.

"until I finally start yelling at him." - not the best solution as it leads to the dread disease of screaming meemies.

Seriously, something he's not doing is clearly driving you nutso.  But is his behavior irritating or over the top in self-centeredness.  The screaming solution is one way to get action but I suspect if you thought about it you could get similar results without dragging yourself into the mire.  Take it from one who has recently recovered from being angry and raging for years.  Life really is better without screaming.  In fact if you practise on past experiences and think of clever ways to prod it can become an entertaining challenge but there is also a middle road method to getting the actions you need.

Give a "for instance" - made up or real and lets work it out for practise. - your friend - Gaining strength

Thanks, GS.

I've also suggested couples counseling based on the "baggage" we both have.  He's still waffling about that.

Bones

[gaining strength (guest)]

couples counseling

That's a good idea.  Wonder why he's waffling? - GS

[Bones]

couples counseling

That's a good idea.  Wonder why he's waffling? - GS

I have a feeling that there are a LOT of issues that he does not want to look at and, at the same time, I think he is becoming aware of how much his "baggage" is affecting me as I am painfully aware of how much my "baggage" is affecting him.

Bones