Hi all,
Not quite sure how to organize these thoughts, so if you don't mind, I will let it all tumble out...
Here is where my situation stands in regards to my family:
I still call my parents, but less frequently - once every two weeks or so. There is no point in talking to them more as we have the same exact conversation every time. And, really, I don't think they much care whether I call or not... My dad ususally says that his phone is running out of batteries before the end of the call and that he needs to go (he is just bored, I am sure). Even when I was there, they can't sit and chat with you, because they don't care about anything but their "stuff." And the conversation loses its lustre after the fifteenth, "Look at what I bought." They are on vacation now so they won't even remember I exist until that high wears off. Speaking of vacation, I think I told you, but before I went to visit (and flew 24 plus hours to do so with two samll kids) they went on vacation so that 1) my dad couldn't take off much time and 2) they wanted to take the kids to an amusement park but couldn't afford it. That was typical growing up. They would promise us something and then go do something for themselves and be unable to do whatever they promised. I saved them embarrassment and my kids disappointment by diverting the situation and saying we had to get on the plane the next day and it would be far to go and tiring. Because my kids are so awesome, they took it for face value. Also, I think they mostly expect people carry through on stuff since my husband and I do.
At any rate... the point to this ramble is to say, I am done. I feel emotionally detached from them and I am at the point where I could give a rat's ass what they feel or are pretending to feel. I am not going to waste my time trying to keep up the good girl image of being in contact. It is pointless. It is like expecting the plants outside to show happiness when you water them.
Sorry this post is all about me in a way... I just needed to get this out, as I kind of feel odd lately. Not relieved or glad to have made a decision or something. Just plain something... empty? Beyond caring? Kind of like Rhett at the end of Gone With the Wind?????
Thanks for listening.
Beth