Hi Seasons,
I am having similar feelings myself these days. Different source but similar in that I have stepped through that doorway into the next room where there are no Ns and I'm left with my "real life". And it feels so unfamiliar. And lonely in many, many respects. But I believe I have never given my real life a chance before and that it is truly that it is unfamiliar, not comfortable, it is too new yet. I'm learning how to focus on the moment and identify my emotions better and not be afraid of them or of the newness. Letting go of the Hallmark imagery. I will not tell you, oh think of other things, remember the hallmark families have problems too, etc. I am not going to recommend anything that amounts to simply distracting yourself through this phase. Instead, I'm recommending that you "study" it. Really focus on the moments, the feelings, the new routines. Teach yourself slowly to treasure and value what you are learning and discovering now that the Ns are pretty much gone. Going back to the old way won't fit any more, anyway. You could try it, but I bet you will abandon it quickly. You are entering a new world now, the real world. It will feel strange for awhile. It is not part of your habit yet. Not customary. But it will be eventually. For me, I've been in this stage a few weeks now and it is starting to feel okay sometimes. So, I believe it will continue to improve. So, I will continue to absorb and learn. Someday this will be normal and it will be obvious just how abnormal the other life was.
Hope this helps.
Pennyplant
