Author Topic: What do you think??????  (Read 4630 times)

gratitude28

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #15 on: October 18, 2006, 08:40:10 PM »
Ha ha Portia... it's NOT ABOUT ME :)

Once a long time ago, my dad was sick and we were far away and she held that from me. I would be so pissed if she did that. Fortunately, my sister is there and will tell me if there is anything I need to know.
I am sorry you had to find out about your dad that way. That is awful.
Love, Beth
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams

gratitude28

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #16 on: October 18, 2006, 08:52:23 PM »
Lily,
UNBVELIEVABLE... well not for an N. You know, I have had some major illnesses (thyroid disease and a ruptured disc that kept me in bed for about two months). But life goes on. I take my meds, I watch for numbness in my back and I go on. To her an illness or treatment is a forever thing that she finds a way to work into a conversation to elicit sympathy. Also, I have said before, growing up with her was one doctor visit after another. It is one place she could always get attention.
Thanks for the answer!!!
Love, Beth
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams

penelope

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #17 on: October 19, 2006, 01:16:12 AM »
Beth,

just had to note:  my N Mom is a hypochondriac too!!!

But... has yours gotten kicked out of a Dr's office?  just curious - both my parents have been "fired" by their doctor at some point - actually what I think gets said is something like:  this is not a healthy relationship for either of us, I suggest you find another family practice doctor.  I will refill your prescriptions only for another month...or something similar

But their version is (told humorously like this is something to be proud of):  Dad threw a paperclip at the receptionist cause he had to wait over 1/2 hour when he didn't have an appt, and the office was packed.  You know how he is.  He said:  why is the doctor refusing to see me?!@!  I could be dying...  So, we are looking for a new family care doctor.


 :shock:
bean

Hopalong

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #18 on: October 19, 2006, 09:55:38 AM »
Ewwww.
I'd like to lock all these NMoms in a room together for a few hours...
and videotape everything.
Oooo.
Icckkkkkkk.
Grrrrrr.
Bleaaahhhh.
Aaarrrrggghhhh.
Bleccchhhh.


Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

October

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #19 on: October 19, 2006, 10:12:00 AM »

Mom got her attention, and then tried to hide what she said.  And surprise, the specialist didn't find anything wrong with me. 

And you wouldn't believe the show she put on a year later when I was in a car accident.   :)

I would believe it.   :lol:

Years ago, the day before a family wedding, my then h took an overdose of antihallucinagens.  I knew they were unlikely to do much harm, but thought I ought to get him checked at casualty.  So, I rang my parents, to sit with my d while I took him.  Big mistake.

Parents came round, but dad insisted on coming with me to the hospital.  Several hours later, we all came home again, after the doctors checked that nothing major was likely to happen to h.

Next morning, I had to deliver a letter to our GP to explain what had happened.  So we were late setting off for the wedding.  H didn't go, but the rest of us did.  I made it very clear in the car that nothing was to be said, because it was not our day, but my cousin's (mum's side).

After the wedding, all of a sudden, my family started coming up to me one after another, with very earnest faces, and giving me rather too long hugs, and  saying things like, you are brave!! and if there is anything we can do ....  I wanted the ground to open up, but I did my usual trick of smiling politely, and not adding any information.

Then i watched mum.  She was going round the whole place; outside the church and later the reception too.  She would stand near some people, then be moved to sobs, and almost tears.  Then, when they did what any reasonable people would do, and asked if she was ok, I saw her time after time, buckle at the knees, and have to be caught from falling to the ground, and then consoled as she poured out to these complete strangers that her daughter's h had tried to commit suicide the day before.  She even did this to the parents of the groom, who none of us knew!!  Then, when she had sucked those people dry, she would recover her spirits really quickly, and move to the next targets, and go through the whole game all over again.

Looking back, it seems to me now like a comedy sketch, but I think this is because the pain of that particular event has gone somewhere inaccessible, and all that remains is my mum, like a recurring nightmare, going from one person to another, and those earnest looks and horrible hugs of sympathy.   :?

And the weird thing is, if anything it was my crisis, and I should have been the one to determine if it was as catastrophic as she was making out, and it never ever was.  But Ns have no interest in truth.  All they want is the glow of attention, and the spotlight full on them.

Hopalong

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #20 on: October 19, 2006, 10:40:26 AM »
Icckkkkkkk.
Grrrrrr.
Bleaaahhhh.
Aaarrrrggghhhh.
Bleccchhhh.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{shaking October's "mother" until her dentures rattle}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

October

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #21 on: October 19, 2006, 10:50:47 AM »
Icckkkkkkk.
Grrrrrr.
Bleaaahhhh.
Aaarrrrggghhhh.
Bleccchhhh.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{shaking October's "mother" until her dentures rattle}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hops

You appear to have jumped to the front of the queue, Hops.    :lol: :lol: :lol:

However, in return for such a beautiful image, I am very happy to give way to you.   :D

(I had a therapist once, and told him about my parents, and said I felt like burying them under the patio, and he said he would hold my coat for me. :lol:  Which is about feelings, and not about me actually doing anything of the kind, of course.)

Portia

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #22 on: October 19, 2006, 10:54:56 AM »

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he said he would hold my coat for me.

this is so serious but I just nearly weed myself....


seriously though:
Quote
the pain of that particular event has gone somewhere inaccessible, and all that remains is my mum, like a recurring nightmare,


I hope it changes for you, I really do ((((((((((((((((october))))))))))))))))))

October

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #23 on: October 19, 2006, 10:59:55 AM »

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he said he would hold my coat for me.

this is so serious but I just nearly weed myself....

My work here is done.   8)

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seriously though:
Quote
the pain of that particular event has gone somewhere inaccessible, and all that remains is my mum, like a recurring nightmare,


I hope it changes for you, I really do ((((((((((((((((october))))))))))))))))))

<Puts on wide brimmed triangular straw hat and tries to look inscrutable>

It cannot change.  I have to do the changing.  Which is a bit of a bugger, really.   :lol:

Portia

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #24 on: October 19, 2006, 11:09:59 AM »
<guffaw> <snort> <eyes watering> .....>>>>>> fawny-brown bathroom>>>>>>

PS I'll be Dud to your Pete if it gives you expression  8)
« Last Edit: October 19, 2006, 11:22:17 AM by Portia »

moonlight52

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #25 on: October 19, 2006, 01:58:43 PM »
Hey I  want to be Pete :lol:

(I always had a crush on Peter Cook)

Stormchild

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #26 on: October 19, 2006, 08:58:23 PM »
Hi Beth

My mother did this as well. In her case, it was spite, pretty much purely. She wanted to make me look indifferent and uncaring to the rest of the family, and one excellent way to do that was to deliberately withhold information from me so that I wouldn't offer support because I'd have no way of knowing it was needed.

When she died, there were maybe three people at her funeral. None of her family showed, and none of my father's family did either.
The only way out is through, and the only way to win is not to play.

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Hopalong

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #27 on: October 19, 2006, 11:12:36 PM »
My dear friend A, who has a major N mother, said with a big sigh after meeting mine (who reminded her of her own in unpleasant ways):

"Damn, she looks healthy." 

And though I don't know about myself (I'm somewhat insulated by not believing in hell) I can guarantee that A is not going there!  :lol:

Hops

"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

October

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #28 on: October 20, 2006, 04:32:48 AM »
My dear friend A, who has a major N mother, said with a big sigh after meeting mine (who reminded her of her own in unpleasant ways):

"Damn, she looks healthy." 

And though I don't know about myself (I'm somewhat insulated by not believing in hell) I can guarantee that A is not going there!  :lol:

Hops




 :lol:

I even have this with my ex now.  His life script is to be eternally at death's door, saved by a mother figure.  So, he is still at death's door, with cirrhosis, mrsa and God knows what else, and when d asks how he is, and he says he is worse, she says, oh dear, never mind.  And when he says he is a little better, she says, what a shame.

This might sound callous in a 13 year old, but considering he told her last year he had a brain tumour and gangrene when actually he had nothing of the kind, I commend her behaviour all the way. 

Ns can't or won't tell the difference between a medical test to rule out possibilities, and actually having the condition.

Years ago d was admitted to hospital with dehydration, the doctors having ruled out meningitis.  But then h went home and told everyone that she had suspected meningitis.  Got him lots of attention, that one.  Then three days later, when I brought d home, he had not made up her bed with fresh sheets, nor made me any dinner.  After three days in hospital with d, I had a Marmite sandwich for my dinner.

That is the day my marriage finally ended. 

Portia

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Re: What do you think??????
« Reply #29 on: October 20, 2006, 09:29:30 AM »
Hi Beth,

hope this going off topic is okay with you! Sorry I didn’t reply earlier to:

I am sorry you had to find out about your dad that way. That is awful.

Well I didn’t have the closest of relationships with stepdad so that part of it didn’t affect me in an adverse way (there was too much going on with other effects too). It was just another strangeness on top of many other oddities. My Dad’s still alive though so that’s okay :D


Moon

I had a crush on Peter Cook too! Those eyes, that nose, that mouth and that dazzling, incisive intelligence and that humour…ahh yes.  8)


Storm

Your mother got more than she deserved at her funeral.  (((((((((Storm))))))))


October,

I was wondering about your ex and didn’t like to ask, so glad you mentioned him.

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This might sound callous in a 13 year old, but considering he told her last year he had a brain tumour and gangrene when actually he had nothing of the kind, I commend her behaviour all the way.


Children can see some things very clearly. She sounds very adult for her age, but not callous October.

I’m not surprised your marriage ended that day. Enough is enough.