hi October,
what happened? Did you post it somewhere else? Give us an update if you feel like it.
Plucky

Well, here is the update.
The closing date is the 13th. So I thought, Sunday is a good day to aim for, and then post on Monday (ie today). However, woke yesterday feeling terrible. Nothing you can really specify, but generally tired, lethargic, depressed, nauseous, and with a general pain in my tummy. Looked it up on the internet and found it was the wrong side for appendicitis, and in my travels through the world of internet medicine, came across anemia again and thought, oh yes, that is probably it. 20% of women have it; seems likely.
Two years ago I had a blood test which showed mild anemia, and did nothing about it. Then a couple of months ago, with this same kind of exhaustion, remembered and started taking iron and multivits, and felt better, and then stopped taking them again because it is too easy to forget to look after myself. So took another yesterday, and spent the day slobbing around, trying not to think of the form that is not filled in.
Then had a chat with a friend in the evening, who gave me lots of encouragement, and so today I have emailed my last work to get iin touch with someone who is a referee on my CV, but who I want to talk to before just putting her there again. So that is today's first achievement.
I also sent an email to the hospital that I am meant to be being referred to, but have not heard from almost a month later. I said that in my experience doctors do not have follow up systems for referral letters, so could they check this has arrived. It may achieve nothing, or it may achieve something. But at least I am not letting the NHS carry on its incompetent way unchecked.

And if anyone is wondering which I would choose, if both suddenly appear, it would be the job. I am fed up being poor and a job could help towards that. I am also equally, or perhaps more, fed up being unwell, but recovery is more uncertain than a wage slip would be.
And at some point during the day, I must get that form out of the envelope and start to fill it in. This is the very worst part for me. The anxiety goes through the roof with all that potential rejection in every line. However, it can all be done, in time.

And that terrible dragging tiredness is much less, so the iron must be the answer.
Thanks for asking, Plucky.