Hi Write,
I've been out of town for several days and just catching up here a little.
Unless you have a parcel of kids still around to keep you busy, loneliness is bound to happen as part of a divorce. Since you have time when you don't need to be available to your son, I suggest getting involved with an activity where men would be present. I would strongly recommend skiing, as they are thick as thieves in that sport, but I know you're in TX and that wouldn't be practical. Golf would be a good bet for you, as they certainly love to do that, too. Tennis or just a workout facility would also be a likely location. I personally took up curling and have made friends with lots of men--married and not--but it gets you in a situation of learning to relate to new men again, without necessarily looking at them as potential dating material.
I did meet my b/f through an on-line dating service (not eharmony), so do recommend that as a way to meet a variety of men. You need to be careful and take your time getting to know someone before actually meeting them, but the worst that can happen is you have a boring cup of coffee or drink with someone for an hour and you're out the door.
The moment I met my b/f for coffee, we knew there was chemistry. We did not jump in with both feet, but dated casually for 3-4 months, while casually seeing other people as well. That allowed both of us time to evaluate the other without heavy duty romance involved. After that time and being able to compare our feelings for each other to how we felt when we were with someone else, we knew it was time to make it exclusive.
We have been exclusive for 1 1/2 years now and are passionately in love. We both still have our separate activities and trips with the guys or girls, but have also taken interest in each other's passions. We just returned from a ski trip (his passion, but I enjoy it) and had a wonderful time. In a couple of months, we'll head to the islands (my passion, but he enjoys it) for a warm, sunny vacation. In between, he'll ski with the guys and I'll visit girlfriends in a warm climate.
I guess my best suggestion is to just get yourself out there. Take your time getting comfortable with yourself and who you are. Joining a divorce support group is a great idea, but unlike Hops, I think it is better to be in a mixed group, as women's groups tend to be a lot about male bashing, imo. I always find it interesting to learn the male perspective on whatever the subject matter is. It really does help to learn how they tick (they tick and we tock, pretty much). Gaining confidence and being comfortable in your own skin is key to finding someone who is healthy and secure.
My best to you.
Brigid