Here is an awesome test for emotional abuse... see what your answers are to these questions:
What names, including nick names, were you called as a child?
Clumsy... could trip over the line in the middle of the road... only did schoolwork that was easy for me... got good grades in things that were easy... slut...bitch...What words were used to describe you, your appearance, or your behavior?
If you eat like that you will weigh 150 pounds... Well, your butt must have come from your dad's side of the family... You may as well think about going to cosmetology school. You'll never make anything of yourself with those grades... Why in the world would you study Russian... Don't you miss the amenities of normal life (after travelling abroad)... Your ankles are big... Girls shouldn't try to get muscles at the gym like you do... Your sister has my body... Your legs look good... You have lost weight... Nothing said if I hadn't lost weight or been working out... I only gained 11 pounds when I was pregnant with you...How did people talk to you?
I said change your shirt before you cook (yelled) Everything yelled. I didn't yell. My sister and mother loved to yell. My dad didn't either. Through pursed lips when disgusted or angry.
What stories were told about you? What do those stories say about you?
That I didn't know what spark plugs were (Isn't that ridiculous, how stupid.) That I was good in languages (they are easy for her). That I wasn't like those other "hick" kids where we lived.How did you feel in your home?
I hated it more than anything in the world. I wanted to stay on vacation forever... anywhere we went. I was mortified and embarrassed. I still am. I dreaded spending time at home but wasn't allowed to go out at all. I felt like I was in a prison. I wanted to run away or die.How were you treated?
They enjoyed "teasing" me when I was grumpy or tired. If I tried to clean, I was being disrespectful and "making my mother feel bad."I wasn't like them. I didn't like what they liked (and they were the experts on all things desirable).How were others in your home treated?
My sister is so amusing. She is the light of the house. She is a medical expert. She had college paid for without complaints because "she was going to med school." They went to any performance she ever had. My mother told my dad when she was little that he needed to pay more attention to her. My mother was adamant that she would never have a hand-me down. But I had clothes she sewed me. I had to do everything "my way." I could never do what they wanted. My sister did everything the way they wanted.What was said or communicated about your abilities to do things?
I am good at things that are easy for me.I am naturally talented and don't work at anything. What was said or communicated about your role in the family?
I went against them. I could never do "normal" things. I went to an annoying college. Thank God they married me off. Why can't my family live near them now? I should be the executor to their estate, but since I am not around. my sister will replace me (trust me, I couldn't want anything less, but they find a perverse pleasure in this and in putting my sister's name on their account). I am spendtrhift while they like to spend money (not true, but how they see it). I hate them because all kids go through that. What was said or communicated about your worth?
i would find a man (my mother was so devastated I gave up a wealthy and "connected" asshole I was dating even though he treated me like shit.) I couldn't be anything without a man. My field is weird and living abroad would be ridiculous.What did you believe about yourself as a child?
That I was fat. I stile food from others' houses. I also took medecines from their cabinets. I thought if I drank I would be an adult and be happy. I thought sex was a great way to be adult-like too. I thought I was gross and nasty and fat. I thought I could develop magical powers. I thought something magic would happen and my life would end up being incredible. I thought everyone hated me. I thought everyone thought I was weird and ugly.What do you believe about yourself now?
I am an adult. I am a great mom and I adore my husband. I know a little bit about everything. I am intelligent, and because of it will be able to continue learning my whole life. I also have a whole life to keep improving myself in other ways (spiritually, physically). I have been afforded so many amazing opportunities... education, travel, my family. I am a good person. I am a hard worker (most of the time
) I believe I am getting to the point that I can control all the things in my life that I CAN control. Wow, this was tough to fill in. I challenge you all!!!!!!
Love, Beth