Debkor & Kell,
Yes, it's amazing how you can put down the phone, walk away, do chores, clean, paint, etc and the N just blathers on!!
Right debkor, just record some "uh-huhs" on cd (tape? MP3?), play them into the phone and then go take a bath for 20 minutes!
Our "uh-huh" responses satisfy the N because the N doesn't care what we have to say. (Voiceless again?!) We are merely supply to the N.
Often, when I used to speak truthfully to an N, the N would play the script, the game of "yes, but....".
Before I knew about Nism and an N went into monologue mode describing their latest problem, I would respond with a possible solution and then, the N would start the "I can't do that" or "that won't work" script for another 10 minutes.
Now, when an N talks to me about their problems, I won't suggest solutions because it's codependent of me and the N will argue with me about why my suggestion won't work. Such a waste of time and energy. Been there, done that, never again.
Oh Moonie, so sorry about their threats and even mocking your children!! Yet, when you realize the full dimension of Nism, nothing surprises me.
When an N wants to hurt you, LOOK OUT!! They are the masters of hurt. They say things (whether true or not) solely to hurt you and they know how to injure and re-injure our sore spots.
I'm glad you can now find the humor and are less fearful.
My attitude toward Ns now: Via con Dios and adios.
dazed