Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
narcisism?
Anonymous:
Normal parents have to gain thick skins, especially during the teenage years when they don't want to be seen with you (but still need your money and your emotional support). I remember my teenage sons walking miles (seemingly) ahead of me in the mall so they wouldn't be seen with their "mommy." Talk about rejection :-P
--- Quote from: c.j. ---Sometimes I think my mother found it difficult to get close to me, because she feared rejection herself (from me). I can remember times when i was a kid and she would say (if i was being 'horrible' to her, as kids can be) 'Why do you hate me so much????'.
Another time I told her i didnt want her to walk me to school, because I was embarrassed being seen with my mum, because i was worried it might look sissy, and that I'd get teased. She, however, assumed it was because I 'didn't want to be seen with her', and got pissed off and got all defensive and annoyed.
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Lizbeth:
Somehow I was logged out for that message above, even though I had logged in earlier. sorry!
Lizbeth
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---Normal parents have to gain thick skins, especially during the teenage years when they don't want to be seen with you (but still need your money and your emotional support). I remember my teenage sons walking miles (seemingly) ahead of me in the mall so they wouldn't be seen with their "mommy." Talk about rejection :-P
--- Quote from: c.j. ---Sometimes I think my mother found it difficult to get close to me, because she feared rejection herself (from me). I can remember times when i was a kid and she would say (if i was being 'horrible' to her, as kids can be) 'Why do you hate me so much????'.
Another time I told her i didnt want her to walk me to school, because I was embarrassed being seen with my mum, because i was worried it might look sissy, and that I'd get teased. She, however, assumed it was because I 'didn't want to be seen with her', and got pissed off and got all defensive and annoyed.
--- End quote ---
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Portia:
Right on Lizbeth! C.J. you said: “because I 'didn't want to be seen with her'” – your mother putting herself before you and you were a child. That’s selfish and inconsiderate I’m afraid.
Wow, C.J. you write well, so expressively. Can I ask a direct question please? You don’t have to answer but it would help me get a better ‘picture’ of you – and I’d like to have a picture. I’m not sure if you’re male or female but I think you’re male. Does it matter? Well yes, to a point. Men and women think differently and some of how your mother and grandfather responded to you will be based on male/female roles/conditioning etc.
You said: “I'm kind of uneasy I've painted my parents in a biased light”.
Everything we say is subjective! We have to be biased sometimes: have opinions, otherwise we never do anything (well, I don’t, can find myself dithering over a decision for so long I lose the opportunity to decide!). It’s okay to be uneasy. How kind of uneasy? What kind of feeling?
Another question! Do you have favourite books or films and do you like animals? (Okay I’m cheating, that’s two questions!)
About your post: I have felt just like you say, but not for long periods. I watch the clouds scurry across the sky and can’t help my spirits lifting, feeling okay just to be alive. Even if it’s raining, cold and blowing a gale, I can still feel life. That’s a blessing I guess? (And a good point for me sometimes is that it doesn’t have to involve anyone else!) Any similarities for you?
I’d like to talk about fear. But I don’t want to scare you away! (Did you smile?)
When you say ‘get on with life’, what do you see ‘getting on with it’ as being? Is it all the normal stuff that other people tell us we should be doing? Or is there your own stuff you want to get on with? I am interested.
Good to read you again – look forward to the next post! :) P
cj:
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cj:
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