Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
narcisism?
cj:
Post deleted by c.j.
Portia:
Thanks for telling me you’re a bloke! I got it with ‘sissy’ (had already written my post offline) but I’d rather hear it from you, so thanks. Are you late 20s early 30s now? If you like dogs and dogs like you, well that says it all in my opinion: you are a good person! Have you ever had a dog or any other pet at home?
Guilt is one of the biggies. Your mother made you feel guilty – have you noticed? She said to you: “'Why do you hate me so much????” – that’s designed to make you feel guilty: that phrase has no other purpose than to make you feel bad. If she said that to you when you were little, well, it has lasting consequences. You feel like a bad person and you don’t even know why! (Maybe it’s because your mother felt like she was a bad person and wanted to give that feeling to you instead?) I don’t think you’re a bad person and from what you’ve said so far, you have nothing to be guilty about (except maybe Texas Chainsaw!!!) – but I know saying that doesn’t make you feel any better. I gotta ask, why Texas Chainsaw? I haven’t even seen it but isn’t it really very bloody and gruesome? It seems like the opposite end of Finding Nemo! Maybe I’m wrong. What’s good about Chainsaw, seriously?
What would you say to working with animals? (Are you doing any kind of work right now? I’m not…) You don’t have to be in a band to love music – just carry on loving it. What kind of music/groups do you like? And as for girls wanting blokes with money – yeah, some do, it’s a shame – but not all! Some girls look for different things…like a sense of humour which you clearly have!
You said: “I feel i dont have enough passion for anything to want to do it fully” – that’s very true of many people, we just don’t admit it very often. It’s funny but passion for something usually builds up the more you do it. It’s by doing the tiny things (like going for a walk around the block) that you find over a short time you want to do more (like go walking in the countryside). Passion for something grows, it isn’t just there to start with. That’s what I’ve found. Have you ever grown a plant in a pot?
I must leave off the board now and ‘get on’ (with boring domestic stuff) but if you can sometime, tell me more. Bye for now, (in UK GMT time). Stay cool! P
seeker:
Hi c.j. and hiya Portia! :)
Hey cj, I think Portia's on to something about finding what you like and taking baby steps in building up a passion for it. I'm a little different in that I get passionate about something, then get distracted by another "passion" etc. But that's my process.
But I just wanted to add: start where you are. Don't talk yourself down about what you have or haven't gotten done. Just do it. That's living. Let go of results and just enjoy what you are doing at that moment. Find your own process and ignore the "shoulds" :wink: .
You might enjoy Julia Cameron's books like the Artists Way or Vein of Gold. They are geared toward recovery and being creative. Anyone, not just artists, can benefit. JC has a very gentle tone that is very encouraging and validating. These books were my best "friends" while I was working through some panic attacks...
Also, can you combine your love of music into another type of activity, like cataloging music, being a d.j., music historian, archivist, recording technician, etc. etc? Ew, I'm getting a little pushy. Didn't mean to overwhelm. What I want to say is that maybe there are things to do in your areas of interest that have only a little involvement with other people or a sort of "comfort zone" built into the nature of the job. One baby step would be to just brainstorm away on all the things you enjoy and what any type of related job would be. Just food for thought.
I also know what you mean about the biased view of parents. It's confusing because I love my parents and feel ambivalent. It's hard to know I didn't get everything thing I needed emotionally and to recognize and accept their imperfections that they deny. But I'm working on it.
Best to you, cj. Seeker
cj:
Post deleted by c.j.
cj:
Post deleted by c.j.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version