"Words abuse" from N's

[Leah]

My personal term, "Words Abuse" .... was, and is, very real to me - regarding the N's  

We are all familiar with the verse, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but calling names can't hurt me" ..........  that's a Lie

"Words Abuse"

Sticks and Stones may break my bones
but words can also hurt me
Sticks and Stones break only skin
while words are ghosts that haunt me
 
 
Slant and curved, the word-swords fall
to pierce and stick inside me
Bats and bricks may ache through bones
but words can mortify me
 
 
Pain from words has left its scar
on mind and heart that's tender
Cuts and bruises now have healed
it's words that I remember

Physical abuse hurts and marks us on the outside for all the world to see.

"Words" abuse hurts and marks us on the inside and all too often no-one knows, because no-one sees.

The hurt caused by the very ones who are to love and nurture - parent(s) who you are to trust, by nature. 

The hurt caused by the ones in your family nest.

The hurt caused by anyone real close to you, someone you loved and gave your affection and trust to.

The hurt caused by someone you trusted as a best friend.

You take the "words" to heart and begin to believe they're true.

And what makes it so hard to bear, is the inner suffering caused by the most calculating "word" abuser(s) who may be so very friendly, supportive, and charming, to most of the people who know them.

They don't hurl their hurtful words at you when witnesses are around, oh no, they wait until it's just the two of you before unleashing yet more words meant to inflict damage.  They may especially do this to you during a telephone conversation, no-one can hear, maybe no-one else is around.

"Words" abuse makes you feel unsure and vulnerable, powerless even, especially as .....

What comes next?

The Silence.

Leah

[Leah]

Think the telephone assault was the worst in many ways.

Upon reflection, she hooked me back in with the use of the telephone.

My tummy would lurch at the sound of the telephone ringing, and, it got so that I would unplug it for fear and dread of her voice.

Put the poem up and my words, as it is so frustrating being fobbed off by people who have no concept of the damage to ones soul by abusive use of words.

Tired of hearing "oh don't be silly"  "oh I'm sure she did not mean it"    and the dreaded  "you are so sensitive"  .... in effect more "word" abuse!

So thankful for this board and everyone here, as validation is more precious than gold 

Take good care of yourself M

Leah x

[Bones]

Thank God for Caller ID so we have the power to block Ns from calling us!

Bones

[Leah]

Too true Bones

I had an old phone 

But I have it now on my new phone 

Sometimes get a silent call from a 'number withheld'   

Soon put the phone down 

Leah

[Leah]

Been thinking about 'words'


Words can be used to motivate, inspire, encourage, motivate, give joy and happiness.


Words can also destroy the human spirit by attacking the mind, which effects the spirit.

Words withheld can be just mean spirited and cruel, a game played to mess with people's mind and soul.

Words cannot be taken back -  once delivered, words are planted as a seed, in the soil of the mind and soul, and, more often than not go on to become fully grown, deep rooted, and mature.


Leah (thinking under her rainbow)

edit:      Proverbs 16:24    Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.   

[pennyplant]

Your poem is just excellent.  I wish I had something like to read when I was a kid and being harrassed, teased and abused by my peers in the neighborhood and school.  Adults would do nothing to help or defend me.  They just told me to ignore it, or that's what boys do if they like you.  Just an impossible situation.  If I had that poem back then I would have felt so validated.  It would have helped so much.

Thank you for posting it.  I still have to deal with the imprint left on me by Words Abuse.

Pennyplant

[Leah]

There would ALWAYS be a stream of messages wherever we had been, on our return, from nMum. Usual questions, urgency to 'check back in' with her or I would be out of favour!

Hi nursie M,

How liberating does that feel 

Same for me too, I had to phone her 1st thing in the morning and soon as I got in from work, then after my divorce, I would have to phone her also during mid evening - which I am sure was a method of control to check up on me ... was I in the house?
or heaven forbid ... was I out enjoying myself for the evening??  

Hasten to add, I was in the house on the phone, in usual listening mode!!

Never forget the day she told me that she had purchased a mobile phone 

and had just learned how to do MSN messaging 

She suggested that I had to go buy a telephone headset - "what for says I?"

so that I can sit in front of my computer, with my headset on .... replying to her:    endless supply of emails ... MSN PM's ... and new skill of

sending mobile text messages galore ........... whilst listening to her voice on the phone      Seriously.

Did it all minus the headset.
 
But no-more, since letting go, accepting the truth, and being set free, divorce from Nmother with NC has saved my sanity.

Leah

[Leah]

Hi Nursie M,

Glad it made you  laugh, must admit that I did too - as I can see the funny side of it now. 

Oh, and I left out work!  Phoning me at the office where I worked in my lunch break, and she even managed to get my office email address too!!  Text msgs at my desk to check if I had received her email 

Anyway, you have something really special and so wonderful to look forward too ....  "My lovely step-son and his girl and getting married in May and today I'm off to look for something stunning to wear."

Hope you have a lovely day trying on lots and lots of stunning clothes - enjoy and fun! 

Leah x