Seesaw down - time to turn it around

[Gaining Strength]

CB you cannot do to your children what was done to me for this reason:  You are there for them.  As they struggle and run up against barriers and unknowns you are there to comfort and encourage them.  When I ran into barriers and unknowns if I turned to my parents they would have belittled me or put up a road block.  Your children will struggle as all do but they will find their way because they have someone who truly loves them.  There is simply no limit to the enabling that your love will provide them.

[Hopalong]

Hear, hear.

CB, I can't stand it. For you to criticize yourself as a mother when it's patently obvious to me that you are an engaged, sane, mature, sacrificing-without-martyrdom and loving mother who is deeply present to her children.

I'm in awe of your mothering. Too late for me to do such a job but if I am ever graced with grandchildren, I hope I'm halfway as good at the "extra round" as you have been in your first.

N and all, long time and all, everything and all, I mean that.

love
Hops

[CB123]

Thank you, Hops--you are so good to say that.
:

CB

 

[debkor]

CB,

You have already prepared them.  While they are flying they will take dips everynow and then.  All you have to do is be there while they are flying.  Just watch and when they are not sure which direction to go, trust me, they will fly back to the nest for advice or comfort or a visit just because they miss you. 

I get phone calls at 2am in the morning they are worried about their dog who ate a bee and what should they do?
And I get up and tell them what to do.  If they need the vet I ask if they would like me to go with them which they say no but I think they want to hear me say I would.  They are flying alright, sometimes a little shaky but they do OK. 

CB, this is the hardest thing I probably ever had to do was watch my kids fly alone. They will let you know when they need support. 
Sometimes I take a picture of me with my cell with a funny face and send it to them. I just say Hey!
Just letting them know I'm there.  That's about all you can do. Just be there.

Love
Deb

[debkor]

CB,

I read your post just now CB.  You taught them well CB.  They have become city kids now and they will learn, they will be scared but I swear they will learn.

CB
I'm originally from NYC, so I cross in the middle of the streets, I dodge traffic, I don't flick an eye to the people in the streets who are singing *oh I love my toilet bowl* swinging around parking meters ,because I was use to it. Just a normal day in the city to me.
My kids were country bumpkins and when I took them to NY with me I looked at them forgetting that they are not natives of living there.  They looked like Japanese tourist looking up at the buildings.  Terrified to cross the street, screaming running, struck me funny. 

They go there themselves now and are  very comfortable with it.  All they had to do was get use to it.  Now they love it and wished we still lived there.
They will be fine CB just takes a little time getting your feet wet and very scary at first. 
Sometimes we are more afraid for them then they are for themselves.
It's a whole new world for all of you CB of course you worry but it will be fine.

Love
Deb

[debkor]

CB,

No CB I do not think that is silly.  They are disgusting and tried to intimidate your son. Pigs.
Ignore, Ignore and keep walking.


First tip,  In the city, if you notice, people do not look friendly.  We are stone faced and always in a hurry.  Sometimes we look mad I guess you would say. 
Walk fast, always be alert to your surrounding and try to show no expression.  Have eyes in the back of your head. 

You'll learn street smarts!!

Love
Deb

[Hopalong]

BRAVOSKUDOS to you and your jaywalkers too.

I hear how hard it is to look back and think, oh I should've...

Still, I truly believe that they will carry things from their isolated lives (in the country, in nature...in touch with that, which so many many kids are not...and which costs young burbians more than we know)...that are ALSO GOOD.

Even in spite of their father. He is not going to own their lives.
Even their childhoods.

They will come the place where they also look back at their own young selves, and any part that was unfairly lost, they will work to take it back, just as we all do.

Argue 'til you're blue in the face but I insist you are a GOOD mother.

(Did i say perfect? No I did not.)

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((CB and little hams))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hops

[GS]

You got your job!!! How miraculous is that?  You haven't worked in many years and a job walked right up to you!!!  I'm wonderin if you have any idea how unheard of that is - it really is nothing short of miraculous.  I am happy for you.  I pray you have a sense of what an extraordinary blessing this is.

I do understand that your children have been sheltered and that you have been isolated but you and they have what really matters - you have each other and you have love.  It's living without love - surrounded by criticism and family that truly derives pleasure in mocking your failures that makes it impossible to learn to fly.  It is the love among you all that will prevent anyone from being pushed without wings.

I keep trying to say the same thing in different ways but I am simply being repetitive but I bet you do see what I am saying.  I know you are afraid and feel inadequate but you are not and as a family unit there is nothing lacking except knowledge and experience but they are nothing that can't be won.  Your foundation is solid.  Your love is so strong and your ability to summon strength is greater than it feels.  As tired and depleted as you are your love and your family strength will carry you forward and you will all be triumphant.  And my life is made richer by having known you and having read your journey.  Your journey gives me hope, hope out of nothing.  If you can do it, I can do it.  And you can do it.

[Overcomer]

Hey!  Send some job vibes this way!

[CB123]

I pray you have a sense of what an extraordinary blessing this is.

Oh, yes!  I really do!  I still am pinching myself.

Thanks for your encouragement, GS.  I am walking out this journey one step at a time.  I know that I know that you will, too.

Much love,

CB