Baldwin calls daughter a "thoughtless little pig"

[Gaining Strength]

I was listening to the radio today and heard the recording Alec Baldwin left his daughter.  I wanted to post about it because it is much like I expect some of us lived with as powerless children.  When I went on line to find some excerpts (http://video.msn.com/v/us/v.htm?f=01/64&g=2F483C34-B39A-4A7C-B69D-4DDD36096528&p=hotvideo_celebrity&t=m555&rf=http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=259574&GT1=7701&fg=)
I first found the following statement.

"Although I have been told by numerous people not to worry too much, as all parents lose their patience with their kids, I am most saddened that this was released to the media because of what it does to a child," he wrote. "I'm sorry, as everyone who knows me is aware, for losing my temper with my child. I have been driven to the edge by parental alienation for many years now. You have to go through this to understand. (Although I hope you never do.) I am sorry for what happened. But I am equally sorry that a court order was violated, which had deliberately been put under seal in this case."

Does something seem to be missing in this "apology" ?  Does this part of his statement sound believable to you? "I am most saddened that this was released to the media because of what it does to a child."

[Gaining Strength]

Here are a couple of more tidbits from the story:

UPDATE: A friend of Alec Baldwin's just contacted TMZ to say that the actor called Ireland last week and apologized for his outburst. The friend added that Ireland is the most important thing in the world to Alec and that he is frustrated because over the last six years, Kim has "tried everything" to alienate Ireland from him.

It seems to me that he has done a good enough job alienating his daughter all on his own.  His response is so typical of an N. That's why it has really touched me.  It frustrates me that he has enough of an audience to appear to get by with this explaination because it is transparent but only if you choose to see through it.



UPDATE: Alec Baldwin's spokesperson released the following statement to the TV show "EXTRA": "In the best interest of the child, Alec will do what the mother is pathologically incapable of doing ... keeping his mouth shut and obeying the court order. The mother and her lawyer leaked this sealed material in violation of a court order. Although Alec acknowledges that he should have used different language in parenting his child, everyone who knows him privately knows what he has been put through for the past six years."

Does this get to anyone else on this board?  Does it touch N nerves with anyone else?

[mountainspring]

GS -  I'm glad she aired what he did.  That child will get validation of how wrong her dad was, and he will be more careful in the future as to how he treats her.  It doesn't sound to me like his apology was sincere at all and I don't care what he says, you don't treat a daughter you claim to adore like that.  He's sick. 

And another thing;

Kim has "tried everything" to alienate Ireland from him.

Kim doesn't have to try anything to alienate Ireland from him, he's doing a great job of that himself.  I think that if my child's father treated her like that I'd be trying to create as much distance as possible to protect my child.  Don't you?

[Stormchild]

Ah, note the nasty swipe being taken at Mommy now. "Pathologically incapable" indeed.

I'd say we have a very clear picture of who the pathological one is, and it's not the mother.

Edit in: and the 'sadness' about the information being released? Classic N reaction to having their viciousness exposed.

[GS]

Stormy - I noticed for the first time your blog sites and went to them.  You write beautifully!  I especially love your  description of yourself and In Honor of Liviu Librescu .

I'm so glad you and Mountain spring replied.  I have kept somewhat quiet about the tradgedy at VPI - it is simply too much, too broad, incomprehensible.  Perhaps that is why I have something to say about this but I would have anyway.  There is so much here that kindles my own experiences but here the dark underbelly has been rudely exposed.  I am truly thankful for Ireland.  Perhaps she will have the support she needs to weather the nightmare of such a brutish father. - GS

[mountainspring]

I've been reading some more on it.  When the family court judge heard the tape she immediately banned Mr. Baldwin from having any further contact with Ireland until a May 4 hearing date.  I hope she gets the support she needs too...

[Gaining Strength]

There is a sadness in me that few here are at all interested in this topic.  It is one that touches the very dark places that brought me here.  I have been feeling a little alienated lately as though my interests are mine alone.  Sometimes I pour my heart out on a post and get no response at all.  And when I view that logically it makes perfect sense but in my wounded heart it is deeply painful - another example of not fitting in and not fitting in here is painful indeed because "here" is a load of people who are compassionate and empathetic.  So if I am alone here, if my words and my concerns fall on deaf ears here then I am truly alone.

I know this sounds like a strange reaction to posting on a topic that others are simply not interested in but this topic goes to the core of the Nism that I grew up with and I realize that I am alone in it.  I lived in such fear and with such a crushed spirit and was so unaware of it.  I knew that none of my desires would come to fruition and internalized that my desires were flawed. 

Can you imagine the fear that child was in from the time she received that message unti the judge protected her.  The fear that she would pay the price of a full day of rage from her father "showing her".  I lived in that fear with each and every mistake that I made and I weep that I have not been able to put that fear aside.  Instead I have learned to be paralyzed from fear of mistakes and have learned to condemn and criticized myself and expect flaws and expect condemnation and expect rejection.

This news story illuminated my 11 year old life to me.  In the middle of the night I dreamt about an experience from the spring of my 7th grade year.  I was 12.  This story had taken me directly back to that age.  There was something that I wanted to do, that the other girls in my class (all five of them) were going to do but my parents said no.  They said no in a way to make clear that my desire was flawed and below our social status.  Nevermind that others in my class were their friends children.

I don't know what to do with all of this - the loneliness is excruciatingly painful. I chose to believe that this is part of the process of opening up the past for the healing light to shine in.  I am ready to heal and longing to heal.  I believe in healing.  I see it all around me here. 

I experience the message by Alec Baldwin as life crushing and the split reaction to it to be reflective of our society.  I am heartened by the sizable reaction of shock.  I am so surprised that there is hardly a wrinkle of reaction here of all places.

[mountainspring]

((((GS))))

So if I am alone here, if my words and my concerns fall on deaf ears here then I am truly alone.

You are not alone.

Can you imagine the fear that child was in from the time she received that message unti the judge protected her.  The fear that she would pay the price of a full day of rage from her father "showing her".  I lived in that fear with each and every mistake that I made and I weep that I have not been able to put that fear aside.

But you are putting that fear aside.  Every time you use your voice to describe it... each time you post you are working through your fear.  You are becoming stronger.  I think you're forgetting it's a process.  As children, these things happened to us over and over again and we got the same result over and over again.. and in working through it as adults we expect the same results that our abusive parents taught us.  But each time we speak up, each time we use our voice we are 'training our brain' to know the truth.  The truth is you are not flawed and defective.  The truth is we adopted a view of ourselves that our parents projected on to us and we believed that as children and well into our adulthood.  I don't know how it is to change what we feel about ourselves... I'm working on that too.. but I do know that you are not alone.  I promise.

Can you imagine the fear that child was in from the time she received that message unti the judge protected her

I can imagine it.  I think what we need to remember now though is that Ireland's father has been exposed.  The whole world knows how he acted.  Ireland is fortunate that she has a mother that doesn't cower to the abuse and is working hard to protect her from her.  She's getting validated from lots of sources while she is still a child that this type of behavoir is wrong.  One of the people reporting the story said that Ireland was fine with the story being released.  That shows strength on her part and is evidence that she is understanding while she's still a child how horrible his behavoir is.

This news story illuminated my 11 year old life to me.  In the middle of the night I dreamt about an experience from the spring of my 7th grade year.  I was 12.  This story had taken me directly back to that age.  There was something that I wanted to do, that the other girls in my class (all five of them) were going to do but my parents said no.  They said no in a way to make clear that my desire was flawed and below our social status.  Nevermind that others in my class were their friends children.

((((GS))))  Your parents were wrong.  And I know you know that but it takes a while for the feelings to catch up.  Try to trust the process.  Healing is a process that takes time.  And when you catch yourself feeling flawed, talk soothingly to yourself.  Remind yourself how far you've come.  It may not work the first or second or 20th time, but it will begin to eventually.  

I don't know what to do with all of this - the loneliness is excruciatingly painful.

You are not alone.  I feel it too.  I feel it each time I pass by Mammaw's old room.  I feel it each time I have to interact with my mother.  I feel it each time my father closes his eyes to how she treats her children.  I feel lonely and flawed and defective too.    Healing takes time.  You will make it.  You are not alone.

I chose to believe that this is part of the process of opening up the past for the healing light to shine in.

Me too.  The process takes time.  It's a path we have to walk... a journey we are taking.  You are going to be okay.  Ireland is going to be okay.  It feels lonely but we are not alone.

((((GS))))

[mountainspring]

But I just said everything I could about it and still get through my day today

((((CB))))

[Stormchild]

GS, thank you for your kindness above. Especially because I was a bit 'short' with you elsewhere here, a few days ago, out of my own physical pain and sheer human foolishness. Thank you very, very much, for taking up the best of me, and letting the rest of me - rest. ((((()))))

Please don't despair regarding this topic. I think a lot of folks are close to overload, with all that has happened this week, especially the events in Virginia. And at least in my part of the world this episode with Baldwin has not been much broadcast or talked about.

I think this topic dovetails with the events in Virginia too. More and more information is coming out about the way the shooter was treated, in grade school, in high school, remorselessly and relentlessly bullied, and no adult ever did anything about it. Doesn't matter whether they lacked the guts or lacked the brains, what matters is that nobody ever did anything, with results that all can now see clearly today.

We can hope desperately that someone will now do something about it in the case of Baldwin's daughter, at least.

(((((((((CB))))))))) - can you get your boys cameraphones? Anything that puts this monster's behavior on record gives you leverage. Verbal testimony can be minimized and spun, but an actual recording is pretty hard to lie about and trivialize.

Edit in: GS, on a more personal note, I understand the feeling of 'twisting in the wind' when you put up a post and nobody, or almost nobody, responds. I end up pulling mine when that happens, because it only seems to happen when I've taken a real risk, exposed a real vulnerability, etc., and I'm not willing to do that unsupported. Not suggesting that you pull this thread by any means - just letting you know that I do know how you feel, but the evidence that would prove it is mostly not here because I've taken it down.

((((((((((GS))))))))))


((((((((((MS)))))))))) you are so right... we are not alone. Not any longer. It's just that, sometimes, it still feels that way...

[cats paw]

Gaining Strength,

   I'm interested in the topic, and I played the clip as soon as I saw it.  I'm extremely interested in the topic, but I'm more interested in you- so thank you for coming back and posting what you did.  It took a lot of courage to be so vulnerable.

   Much like others reactions, it is still taking me a bit to process my ideas related to it.  But your feelings about it are more than just ideas.  I did not recognize your need by what you wrote, and I wish I would have, but I think you'll forgive me.

   And as far as writing ability, I think you have it also.  I have admired both you and Stormchild in that respect (as well as some others).

   As a matter of fact, you have also inspired me to address something else when I have a bit more time, and it will require me being vulnerable again.

cats paw

[Lupita]

GS:
Your words touch me so much. The same has happened to me. That is why I stopped posting. I guess what hurts us and we are interested is different what the rest of the group is interested. I did not want to shape my posts into something that would be interesting to others. Either we match or we don't. So, now I post very few things. And I take a long time to go see if somebody was interested so I do not get disappointed. Which is not goo either because we should respond as soon as possible to the few who took the time to read and write to us in response to our pain. Anyway, I am not making any sense. It is maybe we are different. Not better or worse, just different.
Love you GS.
God bless you all.
Lupita

[cats paw]

Doggone it Lupita!!
 
   I was trying to get myself peeled off the computer and I read your post!  Did you see I did respond to what you posted on "The Bad Mommy Taboo" ?
 
   You are making a lot of sense.  I think it's genuine that you do not shape your posts to be of interest to others, and realistic to say either we match or we don't.

    One of the reasons I lurked for so long was because of my computer and typing deficits; I knew that I would want to include everyone, that I would want to address each and every person each time they addressed me, or that I would want to reply to something that tugged at my heart every time I read it.  Not only is that not possible, I know that this is a group of people, and we share it.  It's also an anonymous internet support group which is totally different from a 3D group or even internet groups that meet at regular times.

     That said, I think for the most part, this is a group of remarkably intelligent, caring, responsible, growth-seeking individuals. I think the group as a whole tends to be very inclusive, and overall a pretty safe place to be.  I don't see a lot of the "flaming" that has happened.

     So, Lupita- thanks for the addition of your voice.

cats paw       

[debkor]

Lupita,

 I just don't know what to say. Well I should of said I was sorry for your pain.  I should of just acknowledged that I hear you. I do Lupita, I really do. I have never experienced these things so I don't want to comment on something I don't know what I'm talking about but I know you suffered with the things that was said to you.
It was wrong. 

Love
Deb

[isittoolate]

I've been trying to wrap my mind around this whole mess. Baldwin's rage was scary, to say the least.

I haven't heard much about mother and daughter but I believe mother is trying hard to protect her daughter.and something I read about daughter made me feel that she was 'ready for him'.

If he has never struck his d'ter then this emotional abuse will be very hurtful anyway.

It saddens me, as this board is not the only bunch who, in this world, have suffered horrible physical and mental pain.

........and I woould hate to think this was done as a publicity stunt.... but it's the first I knew of the history of the custody battle.

Izzy