daughter sharing my emails with her friend

[isittoolate]

Margo

NO! the friend stays out of any of my communications. This is between my daughter and me, and so says the Therapist.


and OC

I received a 2 page email from my daugher last night.  It was honest and straightforward about thiings as she perceived them. In one case she took back everything she had said, in others the fault is mine, and in others we agree.

There is just one item I have to settle so have written her this morning.

Love Izzy

[Overcomer]

Good Iz:  I am glad you are getting somewhere.................I hope you are not at me for giving a different point of view.

[isittoolate]

OC
Not at all

I think when we can run something by someone we trust, we could receive 5 different opinions on how to solve a problem.

I think it is our own choice, our own gut instinct that we follow for the most part, but just sometimes another POV is better.

love
Izzy

[Overcomer]

Good cuz I didn't want to make you mad..................I just know that I tell my friend everything and she tells me everything...but she would NEVER let on that she did or email my mom.

[isittoolate]

Amazing Revelation for Me!!!

Well there you go---telling your friend everything OC---just like my daughter!

Do you have a sister for a confidante?  My daughter doesn't and has her friend who she says is like a sister to her

I have 3 sisters and not one has been a confidante to the other---- I had no confidante at all

Much to my chagrin, I have been using my daughter as a surrogate sister and it never dawned on me until today.

I am apologizing to her for this and how it must have interfered in our communication.. That's not everything, but imagine--she solved it for me by tellling me that this friend is like the sister she never had...........................

Shamefully, yet happy
Izzy

[Overcomer]

You mean you told her everything?  You were more like friends than mother/daughter???  It is true.  My friend and I tell each other everything.  I mean we have always told about our sexcapades.............(not dirty details but almost.....)  She knows about my fights with my husband.  She knows about the on going drama with my mom.  She knows about my kid things.  If I ate too much or had too much to drink.  She knows what I did last night and if I go somewhere.  We talk almost every single day via email or on the phone.  I have known her since 2nd grade....

[isittoolate]

We shared plenty, but not every gory detail.

She even told me when she got drunk one New Year's --told me that her N husband asked her permission to go to a prostitute-- I told her all about my N and the rages and the fighting, that I was leaving and it took 4 years to leave. She must have been sick of my saying I was leaving!!!!!

And look at all of us here. Strangers sharing our deepest darkest and all my daughter needed was a 'best friend' because she has no sister.

It's one and the same, ALMOST!

[CB123]

Shamefully, yet happy

Iz, you're the best!  I just think the world of you!

CB

[isittoolate]

Thank you CB
You must have liked my REVELATION!

Only about 23 years too late?

Better late than Never!
xx
Uzzy

[Hops guest]

Izzzzz!

You got me all choked up again.
I can't IMAGINE how much this means to you...positive or negative, a 2-page letter from your D is connection.

And then your revelation on top...gravy!

Wee caution because I care (as do we all): Try not to get overexcited or swamp her with intimacy now...this is a tender time. So my humble advice is, let her set the pace and quantity of communication, follow her lead.

It's like a bird...gone from the feeder to the edge of your chair...no big movements...

(I don't think it's all that fragile, really.)

I am so happy for you!

Hops