Author Topic: Is it possible to say something good?  (Read 1462 times)

Lupita

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Is it possible to say something good?
« on: May 12, 2007, 10:02:20 PM »
Can we say something good about our N mother? even in mother's day?

My mother bought me clothing and fed me until adult life. She was a good provider. She has savings. I do not. She kept her marriage with her young husband until today. 30 years have passed. I have been alone for 15 and unable to trust any man. How about that?

Margo

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Re: Is it possible to say something good?
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2007, 10:30:52 PM »
Can we say something good about our N mother? even in mother's day?

My mother bought me clothing and fed me until adult life. She was a good provider. She has savings. I do not. She kept her marriage with her young husband until today. 30 years have passed. I have been alone for 15 and unable to trust any man. How about that?

I believe you did just say something positive about your mom.  You could also say that she's done the best she could. Margo 

legalmom

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Re: Is it possible to say something good?
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2007, 03:27:21 PM »
 :P yes its mothers day..
allot of times i don't have much good to say about my mother... she had me young, i don't think she really wanted me,but kept me because"it was the right thing to do"...

my mother worked her butt off to support me(the only child)...married and divorced 4 times..

well at-least i learned How not to quit so easy and walk away from relationships like i had seen her do..but she did instill in me independence,self-reliance, stubbornness, knowledge, passion,intensity, a fierce love for my own daughter..

but  she always kept me at a distance, esp when i hit my teenage years(competition?) and when i married, she was insanely jealous and vehemently against me getting married 'cause i was ruining my life,like she did'... she further distanced herself when i had my only child, and even moved from Fl to NC to be alone,single and live with her horses... but now, the past few years, i think she has softened up... maybe realized that due to my health probs and her granddaughter's age, that she has/is missing out and is now trying to be more supportive..esp of me pursuing a legal career.. she listens to me cry LD about the husband from hell and tells me she is there for me...

so all in all, my mom Is not perfect( i Love you Adele)..has made allot of mistakes,few apologies..but i love her and take my hat off to her,and my grandmothers...tough women..I'm not perfect as a mother.i wont ever be.. but i can say that my Mom did her best that she knew how to..

as a mother,I am doing the best i know how to do...When i know more, then i can do more...

i am trying my best to set a better example for my daughter by trying to teach her how to be confident,strong,brilliant and kind to the rest of the planet..

thats all we can do as mothers,teach our children better,try better....

To all Moms,sisters,daughters,grandmothers everywhere salute you... Happy mother's day.. You ARE LOVED!!!
legalmom

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum --
I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;"

Lupita

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Re: Is it possible to say something good?
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2007, 06:09:35 AM »
I did not enjoy going out with my little brother and sister. I felt itching around them. I enjoyed very much going out with my son. I had a wonderful day yesterday with my son. My mother never liked going out with me. Ptobably she felt itching arund me, and she still feels so. I admire that as much as she did not like me she still provided a roof over my head, food, clothing  and paid all my medical expenses up until I was 25 years old. She tried to abandone me once, but my grandmother prevented her to do so. She left me for six months with my grandmother. Today she denies that I spent six months with my grandmother.
We have to move on. Forgive and forget, and not to think about the past. Just accept it.

My exhusband was very abusive with our son. For that reason, I promised him when we divorced, that if he did not try to get him onvacation I would take all the burden upon my self and would not fight for child support. It worked out very well. I worked very hard for my son and my son has a very nice relationship with me. But, he totally forgets his father, after all the damage, and he says that he will ehlp him when he is old, what makes me furious.
My point is that my son is in the way to happiness because he forgave. Resentment only damage the person who feels it. Nobody else. I am trying to forgive. Very difficult.

My mother is coming to visit. I really need to have a good attitud and a lot of wisdom to deal with her. To detach, to not to be affected by her words and actions. She is very anoying and irritating.

God will help us to forgive and forget.

Lupita

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Re: Is it possible to say something good?
« Reply #4 on: May 14, 2007, 05:35:57 PM »
Ami, I feel the same way. We have so much in common. I think I remember you mentioned that you used to play the piano. I used to be a professional pianist. My son is a pianist, almost about to graduate from his university. I am trying jazz now. Yesterday my son gave me my first lesson. That is his specialty. I was classical. My favorite is Rachmaninnoff. What is yours?

Lupita

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Re: Is it possible to say something good?
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2007, 06:16:21 PM »
Dear Ami, my mother is also a pianist and she competes with me. I wish not to talk about that. Sorry.
Love
Lupita :(

Hopalong

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Re: Is it possible to say something good?
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2007, 11:58:41 AM »
Hi Lupita,
Have you heard back about your liver test?

I hope you're okay.

Hops

Hi Ami,
I agree...forgiveness comes unforced with enough healing. Looooooooooong time sometimes. But it's possible. Maybe a person can also position herself so as to encourage it, but keep the delicate balance so we don't confuse forgiving with dropping boundaries again.

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."