Still doing my research..............I'll keep you posted.
As far as mom......it took me years because her disapproving looks, manipulation and control had me in prison. I LITERALLY had to have a nervous breakdown of sorts to start the process.
It happened five years ago after she had been too involved in my relationship with my ex. I was trying to get rid of him and she swooped in and had him sign some insurance papers and got him into in patient counseling. It was a horrendous affair and I stayed married to him for an additional five years.........during which time I conceived my third child and she is now 12 and has autism.
Anyway, I finally went through the divorce and a couple years later hooked up with a guy at my 20 year class reunion who I had known since 4th grade. After about two years he came over and started working at my business and moved in with my parents. He came to work drunk, and started doing lots of things which made me want him out of my life and out of my business. Well, my mom sided with him, got him into in patient counseling.....................I fell apart. I was so angry. I mean, yelled and screamed and stomped and cried and left that job and got another and met my now husband and was married six months later. I really did some stupid things during that time.................but what I did was set boundaries with my mom with a hatchet. I raged and yelled and screamed. I have never been so mad in my life. Now five years later I have been trying so hard to get out of her tangled web. I have felt like I was covered with a goo (her intrusiveness....) and I was trying desperately to wash it off.
She has considered me the one with the problems all these years but it has just been me trying to set boundaries. I have been depressed and have been angry and bitter and have had so much hatred for my mom. It has been a process. I still really cannot stand her but I am starting to laugh at her antics. I realize that she is trying so hard to maintain her control over me and my life but more importantly she is trying to maintain control over HER life. She is 70 and people do not take her as seriously as they once did. She went and had a face lift and a tummy tuck and she really does look more like 58 than 70, but her mind is a 70 year old mind. She loses track of her thoughts and she is a total imposter. People at work know that she takes their ideas and takes credit for them. I have started to expose her when I talk to people..........I tell them the truth about her without really dissing her...............I just tell them that she needs to be in the spotlight and that it is important for her to be on boards and stuff like that but that I am really the brains behind the operation and if they want real answers, they will come straight to me. If they ask her, she will interview the staff and present their ideas as her own.
So Ami, I suggest that the first thing you do is purpose in your mind to break free from your mom and try to not react to her manipulations. Or try something like this......" I don't know, mom, I am going to have to check my schedule and get back with you on that one........" And don't expect her to like it either, she will lean on you REALLY hard to try to get you back into her web.....you can do it, we can help!!!
