I am sensitive enough that all these other "daughters" who want to end it with their mothers is my life except for the N-ism for me, but the stories are difficult to read.
I understand, Izzy. I have been partially estranged with my D, off and on, in the last year, and things are still not normal and connected yet. It has been agonizing.
So I know how it feels to be the parent, having the child withdraw.
When we share our stories as children of Ns, I identify. When we share stories of divorcing N parents, even though I understand that in all these cases, it's so necessary and right...I occasionally think, is my D divorcing me?
Just as a mother who's getting chewed up a bit. My D's distancing is nowhere near yours, so I can imagine it's even more of a challenge for you.
It's good that you said so. And I'm glad everyone's doing what they need to do to take care of themselves, including distancing from mothers when they must. And boy do I believe they must. There are defective mother animals described here...
Sometimes the loathing-of-Nmothers stories, touch on my sore places. And...there's a part of me that wrestles with my D's own Ntendencies. A tough one.
It's like, the inner child is always innocent, most of us here have been harmed by Nparents. But then, children of Ns or grandchildren of Ns can grow up with a lot of N entitlement and ruthlessness themselves. And they can mete it out with the best (worst) of 'em.
love
Hops
