Oh gosh no! Sorry Christy, I didn’t mean that romantic/sexual stuff literally! No! What I was trying to say was: take your mother’s statement at face value and give it back to her.
Mother to your husband: "She is just on loan to you".
So mother what are you saying? Here is your daughter, married to a man. Are you denying exactly what this means? That she has entered an exclusive partnership of two people who love each other romantically and otherwise – and that you, her mother, have loaned her out in to this?? So you have some similar attachment?
I’m not saying your mother does think this! What I wanted to say was, gee, I’d love to face your mother with this argument to counter her ridiculous and illogical comment. I wanted to shock your mother into retracting what she said, because it is just so stupid.
And why am I so mad about this comment? Because it simply says, quite directly, that she owns you. And it is within her power to loan you in marriage. I’m not saying she wants romance and sex with you – God no! I wanted to smash her somewhat superior and supercilious comment with something hard: because while her comment seems like you could pass it off as a joke, it’s actually very revealing about how she sees you: as an object, as a thing to serve her. And that’s no joke. (The way your folks talk about you in phone calls as though you’re not there also objectifies you.) Why does this make me mad? Too close to some of my experiences!
Very very sorry I gave you the wrong idea, especially with time differences in postings between the UK and where you are. Hope I haven’t caused too much worrying? Best, P